Small Business And Small-Minded

, , , , | Right | May 28, 2020

My sister-in-law works for a bank. The government has issued out loans to small businesses to help stay afloat during this crisis. She is getting flooded by these small business people who all want money and are very angry to find out that the bank building isn’t stocked with enough money to give out to EVERY small business in the area.

After dealing with angry client after angry client, my sis-in-law finally loses her cool at a particularly rude client.

Sister-In-Law: “Well, ma’am, I’m sorry, but this is my first ever global plague, so we’re bound to get a few things wrong along the way. But the next one I will be ready for. The very next global plague!

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Unfiltered Story #194919

, , | Unfiltered | May 25, 2020

A lady brings her cat into the clinic for a vaccine. While in the exam room, she tells the Doctor the cat got out a week ago and seems to be feeling ill since. The doctor examines the cat and finds that he cat has a significant upper respiratory infection. The vet explains that the cat will need antibiotics and should definitely not be vaccinated until it’s feeling better. The owner is upset. “Well I want him to have he vaccine because he gets so stressed out in the car!” Vet: “Ma’am, he is not healthy enough to vaccinate. It will make him feel worse than he already does. He needs a course of antibiotics.” “There’s no way I can medicate him. Absolutely no way. He’s just so stressed out.” “We can give an injection, but it’s about double the cost of oral antibiotics.” “Oh well I’ll figure it out. Just give me the antibiotics.” The vet, surprised at this change of heart, took time to explain to the owner how important it was to give the antibiotics every day, twice a day. She also recommended a medication to help with the anxiety of traveling in a car- the owner declined it, and insisted she would give the antibiotic. The owner paid her bill, took the antibiotics, and left. She later called back to complain that the vet had swindled her and that all she wanted was a vaccine for her cat, and the vet just wanted to charge her more money. She wanted a refund for her antibiotics and for the exam. The receptionist declined to refund her for either one. I doubt that cat will get better.

Spreading Sparkles Of Justice

, , , , , | Right | May 19, 2020

I’m walking up to a coffee shop. A group of rowdy but harmless-looking teenagers are sitting outside.

Male Teenager: *To me* “Hey! I’m Sparkles!”

I reply in my best “grownup-talking-to-a-small-child” voice.

Me: “Well… Yay for being Sparkles, sweetie!”

Male Teenager: “I love her! I love this woman!”

I walk inside, still smiling, and I’m about to suggest the employees provide no more caffeine to the teens outside when I see the employees are clearly distressed and trying to calm a man in the store shouting and berating the barista.

Customer: “I wanted this iced! You are useless!”

Suddenly, he looks at me, trying to drag me into the ordeal.

Customer: “I’ll bet even she knows what I want when I say I want a ‘breve’ latte!”

Again, I call forth my best “grownup-talking-to-a-small-child” voice.

Me: “Yes, I do. It means that you want a latte made with hot half-and-half instead of milk… unless, of course, you ordered it iced.”

The man now realizes the error was his and waits quietly while the barista — now fighting back laughter instead of tears — prepares him the breve latte he ordered. He leaves.

Barista: “Thank you so much! Your drink is on me tonight!”

As I walk outside, the male teenager again shouts:

Male Teenager: “I’m still not over this woman! I love her!

I walked to my car sipping my free drink, feeling loved!

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Unfiltered Story #194431

, , | Unfiltered | May 19, 2020

I worked at a hippie grocery store, you know the ones where they only sell vegetarian fed chicken and all the fake meat you can shake a stick at. There are four in the same side of town, different companies.

An older lady came through my line and wanted to return some glass milk bottles. We don’t return bottles. I kindly tell her that we don’t do that, and that we don’t even carry that brand since they don’t let their cows free range for the minimum amount of time we require. She then starts screaming at me.

Lady: “I CAME IN HERE YESTERDAY AND BOUGHT THESE. I WAS TOLD I CAN RETURN THEM.”

Me: “Ma’am, we do not carry these. I am fairly new, so maybe we did carry them, but not anymore.”

Lady: “NO. I WAS HERE YESTERDAY AT THE SAME TIME AS TODAY AND I BOUGHT THEM HERE. IT’S ON THE TOP SHELF OF THE GODDAMN COOLER.”

Me: “We can go take a look together.” We both take a trip down to the milk cooler, and guess what, it’s not there.”

Lady: “YOU KNEW I WAS COMING IN TO RETURN THESE AND YOU HID THEM ALL SO YOU CAN STEAL MY DEPOSIT.”

At this time she demands to talk to the manager, so I go and get her and she is told the same thing. She continues to say we’re stealing her money and hiding the milk. She then goes back and throws all her milk bottles into her bag, breaking them, saying she will never be back again. I had never seen her until that day.

African-Annoyed

, , , , , | Learning | May 18, 2020

My freshman year in college, there is a foreign exchange student from Kenya also attending the school. After a while, the two of us strike up a little friendship and hang out from time to time. She tells me about Kenya, and I answer questions about the US.

One day, I notice she is looking a bit annoyed.

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Friend: “I have been trying to get people to stop calling me African-American. I am not American! I am Kenyan! I’d like it if people would just call me Kenyan. Or call me black. But not American!”

Me: “I can see how that would be annoying.”

Friend: “And today, someone called me African-American-African!”

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