They Just Can’t Quite Cut The Mustard

, , , , , | Working | December 10, 2018

(I pull into the drive-thru at a nationwide fast food joint, one that I’ve been going to for eons.)

Worker: “Hi. Can I take your order?”

Me: “Sure. I’ll have a #6, but without mustard, large size. with a [Soda].”

Worker: “No problem.”

(I watch her punch it into the computer as it shows up on my screen and notice that she does not put “no mustard” in there. So, I drive up to her window.)

Worker: “Okay, that will be [total].”

Me: *hands her my card* “Here you go. Oh, and please make sure that my hamburger doesn’t have mustard on it.”

Worker: “Oh, that hamburger doesn’t come with mustard. That’s why I didn’t put it in.”

Me: “I’ve been ordering the same thing for years, and it’s always had mustard on it; when did it change?”

Worker: “Oh, you must be wrong; it’s never had mustard.”

Me: “It always has, for the many years I have been ordering it. Can you please make sure they don’t put mustard on it?”

Worker: “It doesn’t come with mustard, sir. I don’t need to tell them.”

Me: “Please go tell them, anyway, or give me my card back and I’ll go someplace else.”

Worker: “I already charged your card, but here.”

(She hands me my card back, and I’m about to ask for a manager, when a manager happens to come by the window.)

Manager: *to worker* “Is there a problem?”

Worker: “He ordered a #6 and says he doesn’t want mustard on it, but I’ve told him it doesn’t come with mustard.”

Manager: *to worker* “A #6 does come with mustard! Ugh, now I have to have them remake it. Next time just punch it into the computer.”

Manager: *to me* “Sorry about this.”

(A few minutes later:)

Manager: *to me* “Here you go. I threw in a chocolate cake for you. I’m sorry about her; she’s new, but she thinks she knows everything already.” *sighs*

(I visited that place many times after that and never saw her working there again.)

Give It Another Two Hundred Years

, , , , | Related | December 7, 2018

(While visiting my family, the conversation turns to how well-meaning people can still say ugly things.)

Dad: “You know, at a party back in college I was chatting with this attractive Asian woman. I told her I was really impressed with how good her English was, since I was still struggling with my own accent. She gave me a look, and said, ‘My family has lived here for two hundred years, and we run one of the largest ranches in the state.’”

Me: “Ouch, you were That Guy.”

Dad: “It gets worse. A month later I was at a party chatting to an attractive Asian woman…”

Me: “Oh, geez, same person?”

Dad: “Yep.”

Me: “Seriously? I should be glad you’re so inept with women; otherwise, you’d have found someone before Mom, and I wouldn’t be here.”

Unfiltered Story #129055

, , , | Unfiltered | December 2, 2018

Me: “Thank you for calling Tech Support. My name is [My Name], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Your phone gave me PTSD.”

Unfiltered Story #128478

, , , | Unfiltered | November 29, 2018

(In Oregon gas stations are full service. I pull up to the pump and there is an out of order bag on the nozzle for regular gas.)

Fuel Attendant: “Hello, do you need regular today?”

Me: “No V-Power.”

Fuel Attendant: “Okay, I was going let you know regular was out of order on this pump.”

Me: “Oh yeah, I I’m not one of those customers. I can actually read signs.”

Fuel Attendant: *laughs*

Unfiltered Story #128472

, , | Unfiltered | November 29, 2018

(I work as a receptionist in the first floor of city hall.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I want to renew my passport.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Do you have the application and is it filled out in black ink?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Do you have your old passport?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Do you have checks or money orders?”

(The customer starts to doubt himself and pulls everything out while saying “yes, yes yes, I have everything.” He places all the documents in front of me and starts looking through his stuff. As he is flipping, I notice his documents in blue ink.)

Me: *reaching for his application* “Can I look at your application, I want to make sure it’s in black ink and not blue.”

(I check it.)

Me: “Sir, you are going to have to do it again because it’s in blue ink, and is supposed to be black.”

Customer: “Where does it say that?”

Me: *I point to the top of the page* “Right there.”

(The customer mumbles and shakes his head.)

Me: “Do you want and pen and a clipboard?”

Customer: *with attitude* “Not unless you want me to do it in front of you.”

Me: *handing him a pen and clipboard* “Here you go.”

Customer: *takes pen and gives me back the clipboard* “I don’t need that.” *he starts to fill out the application in front of me, while annoyingly starts making weird huffing noises*

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