A Pregnant Pause For Thought

, , , , | Right | January 12, 2011

Customer: “Where are the pregnancy test kits?”

Me: “Over there, by the condoms.”

Customer: “If I knew where the condoms were, I wouldn’t need the pregnancy test!”

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A Grave Realization

, , , | Right | January 12, 2011

(After a fellow waitress has passed away, we have just returned from her funeral.)

Customer: “Oh, my gosh, we are so glad to see you here!”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “We thought that it was you that had passed away!”

Me: *after thinking for a minute* “I didn’t see you at my funeral!”

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Acting Cents-less

, , , , | Right | January 11, 2011

Me: “And how would you like that $500?”

Customer: “In one bill.”

Me: *trying to be nice* “Would five hundreds do?”

Customer: “No! One bill!”

(I give her five hundreds, and she throws them back at me. My supervisor comes over.)

Supervisor: “Problem?”

Customer: “Yes, he refuses to give me what I want.”

Supervisor: “There is no $500 bill.”

Customer: “Yes, there is!”

Supervisor: “Not since the late 1800s ma’am.”

Customer: “I remember seeing it!”

Supervisor: “Then might I say you look great for your age!”

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Some Behavior Is Beyond Brief

, , , , , | Right | January 7, 2011

(I am a saleswoman who finished organizing the men’s underwear about 10 minutes before a customer walks in.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I need [pair of underwear] in a size medium.”

Me: “I am terribly sorry, but we are out of that particular size in that brand.”

Customer: “No, I do not believe you. Can you not check?”

Me: “I can assure you I organized the underwear not too long ago, but I would love to check for you. If we do not have it, I can order it for you.”

(I recheck, and the underwear is not there.)

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, would you like me to order it for you?”

Customer: “No, I will go somewhere else.”

(As she leaves, she passes by my manager.)

Customer: *whispering loudly* “Do you know your female employee spends her free time in men’s underwear?”

Manager: “Do you know I make her?”

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Saigon, And Thanks For The Memories

, , , , , , | Right | December 31, 2010

Me: “How can I help you today, sir?”

Customer: “I’m looking for lightweight shirts. I’m going on vacation!”

Me: “Well, that’s very exciting. Where to?”

Customer: “Vietnam. Haven’t been to that d*** place in over forty years!”

Me: “Wow, sir. That must be quite a bit for you.”

Customer: “You bet. At least I know I’ll only be shooting a camera this time!”

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