How To Make An Entrance

, , , , , , | Right | March 23, 2021

A group of three people, one of whom is using a walker, enters the foyer area of the warehouse here I work. It is about -4°C/25°F plus windchill coming in through the doors. After about twenty minutes, the gentleman in the group approaches me.

Gentleman: “We are waiting for our friend who has the card, but can we come inside? My aunt is feeling really cold.”

Me: “Oh, definitely! Tell her to sit right here.” *Points to a spot* “It’s the warmest spot at the entrance.”

With many thanks, they enter and stay put about six feet behind me. In the almost forty-five minutes they wait for their friend, they overhear me, multiple times, asking people for their membership cards.

At about the half-hour mark, I ask one “lady” for her card. I won’t repeat her response because I like to keep things family-friendly. I do not react or comment, as I have been called worse. From behind me, I hear:

Gentleman: *Loudly* “Well, ain’t she special!”

The “lady” starts swearing at him.

Gentleman: *To me* “Do you get that a lot?”

Me: “Unfortunately, yes. But all I can do is ask if they have their card.”

Gentleman: “Well, that’s not right!”

Me: “Sir, you can say that. I can’t.”

We repeat the request and response with a few more members. The gentleman has various retorts.

Gentleman: “D***! Even I know the rules, and I ain’t even a member.”

Gentleman: “Too cool to pull plastic!”

Gentleman: “Yooo! Are you deaf?”

By the time their friend showed up, this group, especially the gentleman, called out at least ten people for ignoring quite publicly-known policy for the membership-only store!

They made my normally miserable Saturday entrance shift MUCH more enjoyable! They called out the members for behaviour that I cannot — at least, not if I want to keep my job.

1 Thumbs
712

And That’s The Historical Tea

, , , , , , , | Right | February 12, 2021

The cafe I work in sits near several major transport links, so we get a lot of travelers, national and international, on a daily basis. One of my coworkers is somewhat notorious for having little to no brain-mouth filter and fairly anti-establishment views.

It’s late November and we have an American guest who’s making small talk after receiving her coffee. She starts talking about Thanksgiving and how the UK doesn’t have a comparable day.

Guest: “I just don’t understand why you don’t celebrate anything like it. Are you not thankful for your country?”

Coworker: “We are, but if we celebrated every time we exterminated a native population and stole their country, we’d only need to work twenty days a year.”

Guest: “…”

She made a hasty retreat to her table afterward.


This story is part of our Best Of February 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of February 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of February 2021 roundup!

1 Thumbs
962

A Bloody Brilliant Response

, , , , , | Friendly | January 29, 2021

I am at a hangout with about half a dozen friends. There is one new guy to our group, and a female friend who tends to recycle Internet humor. The new guy decides to ask her out.

Friend: “Sorry, I’m taken.”

New Guy: “C’mon, give me a chance!”

Friend: “No, I already have plans, anyway.”

New Guy: “Please?”

Friend: “Shut up.”

New Guy: *Exasperated* “You must be on your period.”

Friend: “I started this day in a pool of my own blood. Is that how you want to end yours?”

1 Thumbs
598

Oh Navajo She Didn’t!

, , , | Right | January 26, 2021

I work for a Native American tribe. One day, a coworker of mine, who is Native American, comes in on his day off to get a drink. As he’s deciding on something to snack on, a woman comes in looking equal parts disgusted and livid. She’s very upset over something, but it’s hard to tell what.

Coworker: “Ma’am, are you okay? Did something happen?”

Customer: “I just hate having to come in here and deal with you lazy f****** Indians. I hate [Tribe], and every last f****** one of you.”

Coworker: “Well, get your a** back in your canoe and paddle your way back to England, lady; we were here first.”


This story is part of our Best Of January 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of January 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of January 2021 roundup!

1 Thumbs
939

When The Yogurt Has More Culture Than The Customer

, , , , , | Right | December 2, 2020

I’m a personal shopper. People place grocery orders online for delivery or click-and-collect, and I go around our store following a handset’s orders to put each customer’s shopping in a tray. I’m in the yoghurt aisle when a well-to-do lady approaches me with a question.

Customer: “Where do you have [Obscure Yoghurt Brand]?”

I panic. I know I’ve seen it, but there are only three flavours, so they take up very little space. I try to help her look for it, but I can’t spot it, and she’s clearly had enough of waiting.

Customer: “Obviously, this is why you work here, though I’m surprised, given that you’re clearly too stupid to find this yoghurt.”

Me: “Well, my Masters is in linguistics, not yoghurt…”

Her face fell and then scrunched up, and she stormed out the aisle. I spotted the yoghurt brand about ten seconds later.

1 Thumbs
467