Hopefully You Have Some Fava Beans And A Nice Chianti At Home

, , , , , | Learning | September 23, 2020

My history teacher is discussing the importance of farming in society.

Teacher: “What do you think you would do if all the grocery stores closed down?”

Without missing a beat:

Student: “Eat each other!”

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When You Click, I Snap

, , , , | Right | September 11, 2020

I am heavily pregnant, working my last shift before going on maternity leave, and I am just DONE. I am usually a waitress but due to my condition, I am working front of house, and seated.

This seems to go unnoticed by an entitled woman who so far has complained about anything she can, from my hairstyle, to her meal, which her poor waitress has had to take back twice.

I am organizing some folders when I hear fingers clicking. I look over and it’s the entitled woman, glaring at me, and clicking some more.

Customer: “You there! The pregnant one! Where is my waitress?! We’ve been waiting for over ten minutes!”

As her table is close to me, I witnessed her last complaint.

Me: “She is on her way back with your adjusted meal, ma’am. You made quite a few modifications so it might take longer.”

I go back to my desk, about to speak to some newly-arrived diners, but I hear the clicking again. I turn to her.

Customer: “I wasn’t done with you! Hurry up and get us our drinks! We’re thirsty!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am serving some other customers right now. Your waitress will be out very soon and she will gladly serve your drinks for you.”

I try to turn away but she clicks yet again! I snap. 

Customer: “When I click my fingers, I expect you to come!”

Me: “Ma’am, the only person who can make me come with their fingers is my husband. Please wait for your waitress.”

I turn to the new diners, who don’t comment but definitely heard what I said! They still dined with us and I didn’t receive a complaint from them. I did receive a complaint from the entitled and demanding woman, though.

I have since given birth and am preparing to go back to work. My boss told me the HR rep chalked it up to “pregnancy brain,” before signing my “congrats on the birth of your child” card!

Tell your story today!

Ever had the perfect comeback for an entitled customer? Share your story with the NAR community so we can all enjoy it, too!

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Not If The American Cheese Has Anything To Say

, , , , , , | Working | August 4, 2020

Coworker: “Every day, I worry that the German bologna will invade the Polish ham.”

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Helping A Customer To Help Themself

, , , , | Right | May 3, 2020

A customer walks up to the register across from mine, which is closed. My current customer is speaking to me, and I can’t interrupt, so it takes around ten seconds before I can say to the new customer:

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that line is closed. I can help you here.”

Customer: “Well, you could’ve f****** told me that sooner instead of making me look like a f****** idiot!”

My head whips around at the not just the venom, but the volume of her voice. I put on my best customer service smile.

Me: “It doesn’t appear you need any help to look like an idiot.”

Yes, I got in trouble. Yes, it was worth it.

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Let’s Take A Raincheck On This Jerk-A-Roni

, , , , , | Right | March 29, 2020

(I am a checker in a grocery store, working after the managers have already gone home and the stockers are working the aisles. There is a certain customer who most of us dread dealing with because he says inappropriate things to the checkers as “jokes.” One night, he comes storming up to my check lane, basket in hand. Important to the story: [Rice Mix] is on sale.)

Customer: “There isn’t any beef [Rice Mix] on the shelf! This is [expletive] ridiculous.”

Me: “Did you ask the stockers? There might be more in back.”

Customer: “You ask the stockers. That’s your job. I’m not going back there for that.”

(I sign out of my register and walk to the aisle the rice is in with him following right behind me. The stockers are stocking the [Rice Mix] section and have been for a while. I ask one of the stockers if there is any more beef [Rice Mix] on the pallet or in back, and he says they are completely out and gives me the date they expect more, which is after the sale is over. I turn back to the customer.)

Me: “If you go up to the office, they will give you a raincheck for the rice.”

Customer: “I don’t want a [expletive] raincheck, I want my beef [Rice Mix]!”

Me: “The store brand is cheaper than the sale price on the [Rice Mix], and there is a beef one.”

Customer: *now screaming* “This is [expletive]! I will have your job for this!”

(I am tired and past caring.)

Me: “You can have my job. It really isn’t that good.”

(He stared at me for a moment in disbelief and the stockers started laughing. He screamed that he was going to have us all fired. Then, he walked to a different register, checked out, and left. I never heard anything from management and I never saw him again. It wasn’t a glorious triumph, but I’m counting it as a win.)

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