Mr. Pizza Man Makes The Best Pizzas!

, , , , | Right | October 3, 2018

(I’m on the phone with a customer.)

Me: “Okay, is there anything else you’d like to add?”

Customer: “Could you throw in an order of breadsticks, and—”

Little Kid: “Hi, Mr. Pizza Man!”

Customer: “Get off the phone!”

(I was laughing through the rest of the order.)

Bouncing Off Bad Parenting

, , , | Right | September 7, 2018

(I work in a craft store. We stock bouncy balls; kids and adults alike constantly bounce them, which is annoying and dangerous because we have glass. A mom and son are in our store. The son is bouncing a ball.)

Me: “Hey, please don’t bounce the ball in the store. We’ve got a lot of glass in here. Thanks!”

(The mom looks at me with this confused look but says nothing. Two minutes later, the mom comes up to me.)

Mom: “You know, I wasn’t going to let him bounce that around glass.”

Me: *thinking she was trying to explain why her kid was misbehaving* “Oh, no, it’s okay. Happens all the time.”

Mom: “Well, I had it under control.”

Me: “Really, it’s fine.”

Mom: *gets snarky* “I just thought it was really rude of you.”

Me: “Oh, um, I’m sorry?”

(The mom stomped off. Luckily, my manager heard the whole thing and took my side, but we were both clearly baffled by how a mom would let her kid misbehave, then get mad when someone else has to step in.)

Married To A Sensitive Little Cupcake

, , , , | Right | August 29, 2018

(I am stocking shelves when a customer comes up to me. I can tell he has no idea what he is looking for, and can tell that he was sent to get an item.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Yes, I am looking at all the cake mixes, and can not find any that are for cupcakes.”

Me: “It is the same mix for either a whole cake or cupcakes. If you look at the back of the box, it shows you all the information for cupcakes.”

Customer: “But my wife sent me for chocolate cupcake mix. She will yell at me if I don’t get one called cupcake mix.”

(By this time the wife comes down the aisle.)

Wife: “Did you get the cake mix for the cupcakes?”

Husband: “No, there is not one called cupcake mix.”

Wife: *turns to me* “Is he that stupid to think it is a different mix?”

Me: “I tried to show him that it is the same mix, but he was afraid that you would yell at him.”

Adding Up To Extra Stupid

, , , , | Right | August 29, 2018

(The latest ad we have shows patterns at six for $15, or $2.50 each. I start to ring up patterns and the customer interrupts.)

Customer: “You’re charging me too much. You’re ringing them up at $2.50, and I’m buying six.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. $2.50 is the correct price.”

Customer: “But I bought six. I should get the sale price.”

Me: “$2.50 is the sale price.”

Customer: “But that makes them $18.00.”

Me: “No, ma’am, that makes them $15.00. If they were three dollars each, they would be $18.00.”

(The customer doesn’t believe me, even after I total the sale and it comes to $15.00 plus tax.)

Customer: “I’m sure that’s wrong.”

(Finally, I just start handing them a calculator so they can check, and I still hear, “That can’t be right.” Don’t know who at corporate thought up that promo, but whoever it was never worked at the actual store.)

Barely Thinking Outside The Box

, , , , | Related | August 26, 2018

(I am in a grocery self-scan queue behind an older woman and a younger woman — mother and daughter. The daughter is trying to explain to the mother how self-scanning works.)

Daughter: *earnestly* “Now you have to find the barcode on the box. It’s usually on the top, or the bottom, or one of the sides.”

(Very helpful…)

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