Cookie Duh

, , , | | Right | May 18, 2018

(I work in a small town where we essentially have every big-name fast food restaurant in existence. We constantly get customers coming in and trying to order things from these other restaurants. On this particular day, I am getting food for drive-thru when I hear this encounter on the headset.)

Coworker: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Um, yeah I’d like a cookie dough [Named Ice Cream Mix].”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but we don’t carry cookie dough. We only carry M&M, Oreo, and Reese’s [Our Name Ice Cream Mix].”

Customer: “Well, I want cookie dough.”

(The customer then proceeded to drive off after figuring out we weren’t the right restaurant.)

Unfiltered Story #110920

, , , | Unfiltered | May 17, 2018

(On the phone with a customer)

Customer: Can I get the boneless chicken?

Me: Sure. What size would you like?

Customer: 8. And can I get those mild?

Me: Actually, we don’t put sauce on our boneless chicken. I CAN give you a side sipping cup for mild, will that…

Customer: I KNOW you put sauce on your boneless!

Me: Excuse me?

Customer: My neighbor said you put sauce on your boneless! Why is that so hard? What kind of wing place doesn’t put sauce on their wings? You put it on my neighbor’s wings?

Me: Well, we aren’t actually a wing place. We are a pizza place that happens to sell wings. And if your neighbor got sauce on his boneless then I am sorry for the miscommunication but that is not something we typically do for our boneless. It makes the breading soggy.

Customer: Well I want mild on my wings!

Me: Okay, ma’am, 8 mild boneless wings. Anything else I can get for you?

Customer: Oh, and can you make sure those are tossed?

Me: Well since we dont usually put sauce on our boneless we don’t have a real way to toss them, so…

Customer: *sighs loudly* *hangs up*

Unfiltered Story #110675

, | Unfiltered | May 12, 2018

(I am shopping with my mom, and I’m about 14, and hear the following exchange an aisle over)

Customer 2: Its alright!

(They continue to scream at each other and I am trying not to laugh!)

Kentucky-Fried Cure

, , , , , , | Healthy | May 6, 2018

I work in a very large trauma ER, and we are very busy. I see a lot of weird things, but this one stands out.

A mother brings her 17-year-old daughter in for a “fever.” The registration clerk asks how high the fever is. Mom says, “100.” This is not really an emergency fever unless you have maybe an immune deficiency or are in cancer treatment.

The clerk asks how long she’s had the fever. Mom says, “Like, a day.” The pediatric ER is very busy that day, so they end up waiting about an hour. Halfway through, I look over into the waiting room. The daughter is on her phone, looking as healthy and happy as can be. Mom is nowhere to be seen, but since the daughter is an older teen, I don’t think much of it. Maybe she went to move the car or something.

Ten minutes later, the mom comes back… with fried chicken. They both proceed to eat chicken in the waiting room full of sick people until the daughter is called back. She is almost immediately discharged.

When Saying, “Thank You For Your Service,” Results In Crickets

, , , , | Right | April 23, 2018

(My boyfriend is in the Army National Guard and has been away in training for three months. While he’s been gone I’ve been taking care of his bearded dragon. Today I’m wearing a jacket that says Army, and has his name on it. Today is also Veterans Day.)

Me: “Hello, can I have 57 crickets, please?”

Employee: “57? That’s a precise number there!”

Me: “Yes, sir! I only have a little bit of money to spare, and I did the math, and that’s how many I can get!”

Employee: “I understand! Nice jacket! Are you in the Army?”

Me: “No, sir. My boyfriend is. He’s in training now; it’s his dragon I’m buying the crickets for.”

Employee: “That’s pretty cool! My girl wouldn’t even look after my fish when I went on vacation!”

(We laugh, then he proceeds to bag up my crickets. While I knew he couldn’t get an exact amount, I notice there’s well over the amount I asked for in the bag.)

Employee: “All righty, ma’am! That’ll be $3.87.”

Me: “Are you sure? There’s way more than what I asked for; it should be almost $10!”

Employee: *smiles* “I know, ma’am. Tell your boyfriend thank you for his service. You have a blessed day!”

Me: “Can I hug you?”

(I left the store almost in tears from this man’s generosity. When I got to talk to my boyfriend later that evening, he couldn’t believe it! Now that employee gives me a discount every time I go in!)

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