Unfiltered Story #110675

, | Unfiltered | May 12, 2018

(I am shopping with my mom, and I’m about 14, and hear the following exchange an aisle over)
Customer 1: I AM NOT GOING TO SHOVE NO D*** SUPPOSITORY UP MY F****** A**!

Customer 2: Its alright!

(They continue to scream at each other and I am trying not to laugh!)

Kentucky-Fried Cure

, , , , , , | Healthy | May 6, 2018

I work in a very large trauma ER, and we are very busy. I see a lot of weird things, but this one stands out.

A mother brings her 17-year-old daughter in for a “fever.” The registration clerk asks how high the fever is. Mom says, “100.” This is not really an emergency fever unless you have maybe an immune deficiency or are in cancer treatment.

The clerk asks how long she’s had the fever. Mom says, “Like, a day.” The pediatric ER is very busy that day, so they end up waiting about an hour. Halfway through, I look over into the waiting room. The daughter is on her phone, looking as healthy and happy as can be. Mom is nowhere to be seen, but since the daughter is an older teen, I don’t think much of it. Maybe she went to move the car or something.

Ten minutes later, the mom comes back… with fried chicken. They both proceed to eat chicken in the waiting room full of sick people until the daughter is called back. She is almost immediately discharged.

When Saying, “Thank You For Your Service,” Results In Crickets

, , , , | Right | April 23, 2018

(My boyfriend is in the Army National Guard and has been away in training for three months. While he’s been gone I’ve been taking care of his bearded dragon. Today I’m wearing a jacket that says Army, and has his name on it. Today is also Veterans Day.)

Me: “Hello, can I have 57 crickets, please?”

Employee: “57? That’s a precise number there!”

Me: “Yes, sir! I only have a little bit of money to spare, and I did the math, and that’s how many I can get!”

Employee: “I understand! Nice jacket! Are you in the Army?”

Me: “No, sir. My boyfriend is. He’s in training now; it’s his dragon I’m buying the crickets for.”

Employee: “That’s pretty cool! My girl wouldn’t even look after my fish when I went on vacation!”

(We laugh, then he proceeds to bag up my crickets. While I knew he couldn’t get an exact amount, I notice there’s well over the amount I asked for in the bag.)

Employee: “All righty, ma’am! That’ll be $3.87.”

Me: “Are you sure? There’s way more than what I asked for; it should be almost $10!”

Employee: *smiles* “I know, ma’am. Tell your boyfriend thank you for his service. You have a blessed day!”

Me: “Can I hug you?”

(I left the store almost in tears from this man’s generosity. When I got to talk to my boyfriend later that evening, he couldn’t believe it! Now that employee gives me a discount every time I go in!)

Laptop Flop, Part 23

, , , , , | Working | April 13, 2018

My laptop, which is vital to my schoolwork, has been experiencing charging issues. It will charge to a certain percentage, then stop. This percentage has been decreasing slowly over time, and as the laptop’s maximum charge begins nearing the single digits, I start to fear the worst. I schedule an appointment to have a technician come to my campus and replace the battery. In the call, I am also pushed into replacing the motherboard. I am concerned, but cannot risk losing my laptop, so I agree.

A week later, the technician arrives. He is an older man with glasses and a generally pleasant disposition. I bring him to our school’s library, and boot the machine to demonstrate the issues I am having. He seems to follow along just fine, so I power the machine down and pass it over.

I first begin to grow concerned when, as he removes the case and components, he removes his glasses and lumps the screws haphazardly together in the same pile, making no effort to remember where each one came from. I ask him about it, and he is quick to brush me off. After finally examining the pile — without glasses — he tells me that it does not matter where they go; they are all the same. I am confused, as many of them are clearly different lengths, but I say nothing, figuring he is more of an expert than I am.

More time passes as the technician speaks to me while he works. His progress is very slow, and it takes several hours before the new components are in and the moment of truth has arrived. He presses the power button, and… nothing. The screen is dark. I am panicked, but he assures me that the new board must be bad, and he puts the old board back in. Again, he pays no mind to the screws, and at the end of it several are left over, and he cannot determine where they should go. I am a little upset by this, but at this point I no longer care so long as the machine boots again.

Still nothing. At this point, it is so late that the library is closing, and we must leave to find a new place to work. We are now outdoors, in front of a local cafe. The man, frustrated by the lack of progress, calls another tech support official to help. The next two hours are a maddening string of being put on hold and unhelpful advice intermixed with failed attempts to revive my machine. At the end of it all, the technician gives up and hands my laptop back to me — still broken — telling me that I will have to send it in to be repaired. Frantically, I tell him that I can’t; my classes demand I have access to my computer, and there is no way I can go that long without it without suffering academically. He tells me that waiting for new parts will probably take longer, anyway, and would be much more likely to fail again.

This technician’s “repair” ends with a previously perfectly operational laptop becoming totally unbootable. It no longer responds to any attempts I make to restart it. I now have to send it in and hope that it shows up in one piece. I have long given up hope that any of my data will be recoverable. And I still have a single mystery screw hiding in my pocket.

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 22
Laptop Flop, Part 21
Laptop Flop, Part 20

Revolving Blame

, , , , , | Related | April 9, 2018

(It’s the early 2000s and I am in my early teens. My dad takes my two younger brothers and me on a vacation to Mammoth Cave. We go through a large section of the cave as the guide explains and shows us the formations and other cool things. We get to the last section of the tour, and the guide says that once we are done exploring we can go up the stairs and exit through a revolving doors and wait in the bus for the rest of the group. After a few more minutes we decide we have seen enough and start for the exit. We are the first people to leave the group, and once we get to the top of the stairs, we see the revolving door, as expected. My dad sees a button beside the door.)

Dad: “Oh, this must be for the revolving door.”

(He presses the button, and the door does not move.)

Dad: “Huh.”

(He pushes the button again. As he presses it the second time, I notice a light flicker on just above the door.)

Me: “Oh, it looks like it turns the light above the door off and on.”

Dad: “That’s strange.”

(We go out to the bus and my dad takes one of my brothers to the bathroom as we wait. While they are gone, other people start to trickle in. Each one loudly exclaims how crazy it was that the lights suddenly went out. My other brother and I freeze as we piece together what happened.)

Me: “We… might have been the ones that did that.”

(Once my dad and other brother got back, we filled them in on what we had done, as the bus was booming with chatter about the sudden blackout. We confessed to the tour guide — who was surprisingly calm — what we did. He then informed us that we had turned off one third of the lights to the entire cave system! Thank goodness we pushed it that second time!)

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