Welcome To Your Unfriendly Neighborhood Diner

, , , , , | Friendly | May 2, 2021

My family and I are visiting the USA for a family holiday. Before this trip, my sister and I have never been to North America before in our lives. We live in the UAE, which is located in the middle east. My family is biracial; my dad is German/Brazilian and my mum is Indian. Before the moustache model stole the swastika for his political party, it was used as a religious icon and still is; in fact, if you travel to most places in Asia, you might see it, not as a political sign but rather a spiritual one. As such, my mother has it as a necklace.

After some sightseeing, we hit the road, driving up to visit some family. Along the way, we stop at a diner chain to grab some food. The trip is during the FIFA World Cup, and my father is an avid supporter of his national team. Since we finally have some Wi-Fi, we are all preoccupied with various devices watching and downloading things for the remainder of the drive. During this Wi-Fi frenzy, a massive man who reeks of beer and is wearing a gun walks up to our table.

Man: “See, that’s the problem with your generation — always on their phones. Where are y’all from?”

We’ve already learned our lesson about telling people we come from Dubai because of a previous encounter.

Dad: “We’re from Germany. We’re visiting some family so we’re just getting things ready for the rest of the trip.”

Man: “Oh, y’all are from Germany. Isn’t that where them Nazis are from?”

At this point, the man notices my mum’s swastika necklace. He pulls out his gun and points it at my family.

Man: “How dare y’all come to the States spreading your Nazi bulls***?!”

My entire family held their hands up in fear as my sister and I started crying; a strange man holding a gun on you and your family can do that.

The cops were called and the man was arrested for assault. For the remainder of the trip, my mum didn’t wear her necklace.

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Not What We Meant When We Said, “Take A Seat”

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Here4SatisfyingDrama | April 25, 2021

I was a college student working at a small, homely diner for the summer. My coworkers were taking orders at the counter and giving customers number cards, and I was bringing the orders out to tables labeled with the appropriate numbers.

One elderly man didn’t grab his number card to put on his table, so that meant the next lady in line took his card. There were also now two separate orders with the same number label.

I grabbed the first tray of food with that number and looked for the number card, which was on the lady’s table. I went back to the kitchen window and noticed that the next tray of food had the same number, so I brought it out to that same lady’s table, only to be met with confused looks since everyone at that table already had their food.

That’s when the elderly man chimed in. He stormed over and shouted:

Man: “I SAW YOU GIVE MY FOOD TO THAT TABLE! THAT’S MY ORDER! ITS MINE! NOW I DON’T HAVE MY FOOD!”

I was pretty stunned at the shouting, but thankfully, my manager walked over to calm this man down. She explained the situation with the number cards.

Manager: “We will re-make your order and have it out for you shortly.”

That was apparently unacceptable to this man, as he walked back to his table, picked up his chair, and CHUCKED IT ACROSS THE ENTIRE RESTAURANT, hitting the wall. The impact broke one of the legs and dispersed a bunch of screws in the area.

Thankfully, it somehow didn’t hit anybody.

I was expecting my manager to kick him out, but I guess she didn’t want to get the police involved because he ended up staying at his table —  now missing a chair — and waiting on his food.

Needless to say, I was a bit scared when bringing his food to him a few minutes later, but he just angrily ate his food in silence.

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Just A Bit Scrambled

, , , | Right | April 18, 2021

When I am about seven, I go to a diner with my family. I only recently realized I like fried eggs, so I decide to order some.

Waitress: “How would you like those done?”

Me: *Clueless* “Medium rare?”

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Even Small Towns Are Too Big For Small-Minded People

, , , , , | Right | December 29, 2020

The owner also serves as a waiter in the little diner I work at. We’re a small town where almost everyone knows everyone.

A guy moved here a few months ago and already has a terrible reputation for being a sexist pig who has grabby hands. He has been banned from our one pizza place and one Chinese restaurant already. He comes into our diner today. He doesn’t know the owner.

Customer: “No, I won’t be served by a man; that’s a woman’s job!”

Owner: “That isn’t happening.”

Customer: “You get me a pretty girl out here right now!”

Owner: “No. Either I’m your waiter or you don’t eat.”

Customer: “You!” *Snaps his fingers at me* “You will—”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “You little b****! I am a man; you will do as I tell you!”

Me: “I will do no such thing.”

He grabs my arm and jerks me towards him, causing several other customers to yell out and two to pull out their phones. The owner yanks him off and begins to drag him towards the door while the customer tantrums.

Owner: “Congrats, you’re banned.”

Customer: “YOU CAN’T KICK ME OUT! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!”

Owner: “I sure do, you’re [Customer], a sexist a**hole who has now been banned from three of the four restaurants in town because he’s a dumba** and can’t keep his hands to himself. Do you know who I am?”

Customer: “No, who the h*** cares?”

Owner: “You will. I’m [Owner], I own this place, but more importantly—” *points to me* “—she’s my wife’s goddaughter, and that—” *points to camera* “—is a video camera.”

Customer: “Um, I didn’t—”

Owner: “Oh, yes, you did. [My Name], you want to press charges, darling?”

Me: “Yes.”

The customer tried to book it, but the police eventually got him.

The owner’s wife, my godmother, is the owner of the law firm he was trying to get a job at. He never knew that because she never wanted an interview with him, and he didn’t realize she was a woman due to her gender-neutral name.

He ended up moving out of town less than six months later.

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It’s Only A Big Deal If You Make It One

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 5, 2020

A friend from college used to have a female name. After years of struggling with her identity, she became [Male Name] and began transitioning. We were friends for about ten years before this, and his male name is close to his female name — like Andrew and Andrea — so sometimes I use [Female Name] by mistake. He corrects me every time, but I still feel bad. One day shortly after he began his hormones, we are out for food.

Me: “Hey, [Female Name]—”

Friend: “[Male Name].”

Me: “Oh, f***, I’m so sorry!”

Friend: “It’s okay. Next time you owe me a dollar, though.”

Me: “Deal.”

We shake on it.

A random girl comes to our table and stands over us.

Girl: “Transphobia is disgusting.”

Friend: “She wasn’t—”

Girl: “She was!”

Friend: “Look, I appreciate what you’re doing, but I’m okay. It was an accident, that’s all.”

She stands there, glaring at me.

Me: “So, [Male Name], as I was saying —”

Girl: *To me* “A**hole.” *Storms off*

My friend and I looked at each other. He rolled his eyes and laughed. I never use [Female Name] anymore, and my friend is happier and healthier than I’ve seen him in years.

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