Your Word Is Mud  

, , , , | Right | November 28, 2019

(The return policy at my shoe store does not accept any shoes that have been worn. A customer and his two children come in to return a pair of shoes. I open the box and see the son’s shoes covered in mud and dirt; they have obviously been worn.)

Me: “I am sorry, but I cannot accept these shoes because they have been worn.”

Customer: “My son has never worn these shoes.”

(I hold up a shoe covered in mud.)

Me: “Sir, these shoes have mud on them. I cannot accept worn shoes.”

Customer: “My son has not worn these shoes!”

(This exchange continues for some time, with him consistently denying his son has worn the shoes. Meanwhile, his son is cheerfully telling all the places he has worn the shoes.)

Son: “Daddy, I wore the shoes to grandma’s house!”

Son: “Daddy, I wore the shoes to the zoo!”

(And so on. The customer completely ignores his son and eventually storms out. He takes his “unworn” shoes with him. However, there are an elderly gentleman and his wife who have heard the entire exchange.)

Gentleman: “If I wore these shoes to the zoo, could I return them?”

(I told him that although it was against the policy, I would let him!)

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When Lemon Fresh Isn’t As Fresh As It Could Be

, , , , | Working | November 25, 2019

(I work in a theme park and we serve fresh-squeezed lemonade in the area where I work. I have just started to clean the lemon squeezer when this happens.)

Coworker: “You don’t need to clean that.”

Me: “Why?”

Coworker: “They’re going to use that tomorrow, anyway.”

Me: “Are you serious?

Coworker: “Yeah…”

Me: “Then you shouldn’t wash your hands; you’re just going to use them later.”

(He didn’t talk for the rest of the day.)

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Scream Until You Get Results

, , , , , | Right | November 25, 2019

I live in a very bad neighborhood. Mostly the people are what makes it this way. 

One day, my family decides on having chicken for dinner so I take my young daughter with me to get it. When we get to the restaurant, it’s mostly dead — not a lot of customers. I place our order and we move to the side.

While we’re waiting for the order to be made, my neighbor walks in. She’s screaming and throwing her hands in the air. She tells the cashier it’s the worst food she has ever eaten and throws a receipt at the poor cashier. 

My neighbor continues to scream about how bad her food was burnt, how horrible the sides tasted, and how the cashier had to make it right. She keeps screaming even after the manager agrees to replace her food.

My food is done, so my daughter and I immediately leave; my neighbor is still screaming. We go out to find her car parked next to mine with her eleven-year-old daughter inside. 

I ask, “Hey, what was wrong with the chicken for your mom to scream that bad?”

The daughter replies, “Nothing was wrong with it. Mommy just wanted more but didn’t want to pay for it. So she screams at people to get free food.”

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Unfiltered Story #178326

, , | Unfiltered | November 22, 2019

(I’m the closing manager at a retail store in the mall. It’s just my brand new 16 year old sales associate and me, and it’s closing time. The store is completely empty, so I go to pull the gate shut. A rough looking couple comes up to the gate as I’m closing it, and the large woman physically pushes me out of the way as they barge into the store. Coworker and I both stare in disbelief at the couple starts looking around. After 5 minutes pass, we count down one register, turn off the music, and I go to check on them.)

Me: *cheerful voice* Hi! Is there anything I can help you with tonight?
Woman: Naw, we’re just browsin’.
Me: Okay, I just wanted to let you know we need to close the store, but I’ll happily ring you up right now if you’d like to buy something!
Woman: Ya’ll are CLOSIN’?? What time do ya close?
Me: We were supposed to close 5 minutes ago. I’m sorry to rush you but we are required to be out by a certain time. You’re welcome to come back tomorrow when we open at 10am.
Woman: *Ignores me, slowly ‘browses’*

(I go ahead and start vacuuming all the areas I can. I glance over and see my coworker staring in shock as the woman says something to him, then they leave. After they’re gone and the gate is locked, he approaches me.)

Coworker: They were really mad….
Me: I don’t care.
Coworker: She might call customer service.
Me: Let her. She physically shoved me to get in a store that was obviously closing.
Coworker: She might boycott us.
Me: Good. I don’t need rude people browsing after closing anyway.

(She never called customer service, and never came back to the store. We discussed this with the store manager, who not only took my side, but said I should have shoved her back out the door when she pushed me and locked her out to begin with.)

Mischief Mismanaged

, , , , | Working | November 18, 2019

(My friend works at a store in the mall. She’s worked there for years when they hire a new manager. The manager tries to take over from the moment she is hired, changing everything and giving people useless tasks to complete. She even tries things like burning scented candles in the employee areas, which is a fire hazard, and trying to get all the team members to join hands in a “meditation circle” before every shift. My friend basically just ignores her and keeps doing her job. When the manager tries the bit with the scented candles, my friend douses them and turns them over to the mall security as a discovered fire hazard, and then reports to the manager that “someone” has burned candles, but that she’s taken care of it before they could start a fire. This all leads up the manager calling my friend in during the middle of a shift.)

Manager: “You’re not doing [tasks] like I told you to.”

Friend: “Are we closing early? Because we are only supposed to do that when we close.”

Manager: “I want us to keep doing it throughout the day.”

Friend: “Okay.”

(They both just stare at each other for several minutes.)

Manager: “Hand over your badge and shirt.”

Friend: “Excuse me?”

Manager: “You’ve been insubordinate since you started here.”

(Remember, my friend was hired years before this manager.)

Manager: “I’m not going to put up with it anymore. You’re fired!”

Friend: “Mm… no, I’m not.”

(And then, she just walked back out and went back to work. The manager kept sulking back in the office for the rest of that shift, but my friend didn’t hear another word about being fired from her after that. After telling us this, she admitted that she mainly wasn’t worried because she knew that that manager didn’t know anything about their computer system, so she couldn’t so much as change a schedule, much less fire anyone.)

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