Years ago, during a recession, I had a job interview with a computer parts company. It was one that hired at cheap wages and promised frequent promotions and raises. 

At the time, I had freshly graduated from university and was on contract for slightly over minimum wage. I was first interviewed by a Human Resources person. We exchanged niceties before diving in.

Me: “How do you enjoy working for this company?”

Her demeanor changed completely and she glared at me.

HR Employee: “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

I was shocked at the outburst, expecting her to highlight the positive aspects of the company. I don’t know why she thought I was asking something personal or offensive. It changed the tone of the interview. 

I continued to be polite, but then, she noted the salary of approximately $20,000 per year.

Me: “No one could afford to live on that salary. It’s barely above minimum wage, and it won’t cover rent or other expenses.”

When the hiring manager (who was pleasant) came in, I repeated this and walked out after twenty minutes. 

It’s the only time I’ve ever been bluntly honest in an interview. But the HR employee’s rudeness showed me that it was not a pleasant place to work and that she would have been miserable to work with. The company doesn’t exist anymore.

I work for a huge entertainment company on a software development team. Recruiting is hard; even though we use agencies that take a hefty percentage, we get a lot of applicants who have clearly borrowed someone’s CV.

I can see the sense of this; if they can blag their way through the interview, then we will pay them literally hundreds of pounds a day. Even if you get sacked on the first day, you get paid for that day. £300 is not bad for a few hours of work when the minimum wage at the time is around £5 an hour. And I know my manager; he would give them more than a day because he wants his staff to be successful. Luckily, none of them make it through the interview. 

Because of the way we work, we can use anyone who has some basic programming skills if they are smart and willing to learn. Indeed, our best recruit had only done an introduction to programming course, and we were his first job. We only quiz people about skills they claim to have; if they demonstrate a good working knowledge of something they have used, we can feel confident they can learn the new skills they need. 

The most egregious liar I remember was [Candidate]. The young man’s CV ticked all the boxes, and I was excited to interview him. I did not notice my boss wildly (but covertly) signalling me not to bother when I went in to ask [Candidate] the technical questions at my allotted time, halfway through his interview.

Me: “So, your CV says you know Java.”

Candidate: “Yes, I know Java.”

Me: “How would you create a constant in Java?”

Candidate: “I don’t really know Java”

Me: “Ah, okay. Then I see you know SQL”

Candidate: “Yes, I know SQL.”

Me: “What command would you use to print all the entries in a table?”

Candidate: “I don’t really know SQL”

Me: “All righty, then. Do you MS-DOS?”

Candidate: “Yes, I know MS-DOS.”

And so on. He just kept on lying and didn’t seem to recognise the pattern. I am afraid I went through every skill he claimed to have while my boss was in agony; he had already discovered [Candidate]’s complete lack of knowledge in the first few minutes but had not been able to wrap it up before I came in.

Final hiring decisions are made in consultation with Human Resources, so we are not allowed to tell a candidate they have not been successful during the interview, even if it’s 100% obvious to us (and them). My boss couldn’t find a way to stop me that wouldn’t have told [Candidate].

After this interview, we came up with a test. Candidates who failed did not proceed to the interview portion. It saved us hours of time.

After ten years of working for myself as a graphic designer and marketing consultant, I became disenchanted with having to chase after clients to collect my paycheck and sought a typical nine-to-five job. I interviewed for a position as a marketing manager with a company that I seemed like a great fit. During my interview, the CEO asked me what programs I use to “draw.”

Me: “Uh, I usually work in Illustrator, because vector graphics are scalable.”

Client: “Oh, that’s good. Not many people would understand that or know that.”

He offered me the position and I accepted.

A few weeks into the job, when discussing a project with the same CEO, he asked how I was going to prepare a specific piece of marketing collateral. It included the creation of new logos and would need to be sent to a printer in .eps format. I told him I was going to use Illustrator. He replied in a tone that was a unique cross of amusement, sneering condemnation, and anger.

Client: “No. People don’t know how to use Illustrator, and there isn’t anything you can do in Illustrator that you can’t do in Microsoft Word. Use that.”

I witnessed the worst way to handle yourself in an interview at my job. Our big box store is, naturally, organized according to a plan created by corporate. Like any similar big box stores of our brand, the makeup section is in the same location in every store, the groceries have their own area in a specific corner, etc.

My general manager was interviewing people for a vacant managerial spot.

In walked a woman whom I can only call [Failed Applicant]. Being lower on the totem, I wasn’t involved with the hiring process, but I happened to be within earshot of the incident.

[Failed Applicant] stormed into the store, looking (and smelling) as though she had jumped out of bed without a shower. She was disheveled and absolutely REEKING of cigarette smoke. The brown cloud of noxious fumes surrounded her in a three-foot fog and trailed behind her to hang in her wake for what felt like an eternity. Her hair could have been an eldritch horror monster.

She headed to the nearest employee, yelling orders as though she was already hired for the position. The employee just stared at her, stunned. Since he didn’t leap to obey, she sucked in a huge breath and roared at him like a GI Instructor.

Failed Applicant: “When I tell you to do something, you had better be in the air before asking, ‘How high?’!”

My boss, who was nearby waiting for the interview, sprinted over to see what the fuss was about. She spun on him with barely a pause for breath and just went off. She laid into him at top volume, listing all the ways things WOULD be changing under her leadership because she didn’t like the way the store was organized.

Failed Applicant: “The makeup will be relocated! The groceries will now be moved to the front of the store and to the left of the entrance doors instead of their current location! And boy howdy, there will be no more of this inclusivity bulls***; toys will be clearly labeled for boys or girls from now on.”

My boss was silent, his face slowly turning to stone with every word that came out of the woman’s mouth, and his arms slowly crossing. He waited for her to pause and stopped her tirade like a mountain stops an airplane.

Boss: *In a calm, cold voice* “I don’t like your attitude. Nastiness like yelling at the employees is completely banned here. You have zero say in how the store is set up, and in no way, shape, or form, are you going to be employed here or in any store of our brand. I will be blacklisting your application as unhireable in our system.”

Failed Applicant: “You’re a man! So you just don’t like me because I’m too much of a strong woman; that intimidates you!”

Boss: “No, I just don’t hire people who will get the store sued.”

Then, he showed her the door. 

I could only shake my head and go back to what I was doing with a new story to tell.

I went for a job interview at a college for a position as a Lab Technician. The Ph.D. boss did mention that the lab techs all work eighty-hour weeks for a salary of $21,000, even though it was a big-name university. But the interview went well otherwise.

Me: “Yes, I’ll take the job.”

Boss: “I want you to wait a few days and think about it.”

A few days later, she called me and said the salary had dropped to $17,000 — actually standard for peon lab techs — but ever eager, I said:

Me: “Yes! I’ll take the job!”

Boss: “No, I want you to take a few more days and think about it, and I’ll call you back.”

The next day, I accepted a different $21,000 salary job, so when she called with a third offer of a $10,000 salary per year, saying that I could also work for another research lab to make enough money to pay rent, I politely declined. Cue the outrage.

Boss: “How dare you lead me on like that?!”

I ran into her and her terrified and stressed lab tech crew years later and confirmed that I had dodged a bullet when I walked away.