There’s Confidence And Then There’s This

I witnessed the worst way to handle yourself in an interview at my job. Our big box store is, naturally, organized according to a plan created by corporate. Like any similar big box stores of our brand, the makeup section is in the same location in every store, the groceries have their own area in a specific corner, etc.

My general manager was interviewing people for a vacant managerial spot.

In walked a woman whom I can only call [Failed Applicant]. Being lower on the totem, I wasn’t involved with the hiring process, but I happened to be within earshot of the incident.

[Failed Applicant] stormed into the store, looking (and smelling) as though she had jumped out of bed without a shower. She was disheveled and absolutely REEKING of cigarette smoke. The brown cloud of noxious fumes surrounded her in a three-foot fog and trailed behind her to hang in her wake for what felt like an eternity. Her hair could have been an eldritch horror monster.

She headed to the nearest employee, yelling orders as though she was already hired for the position. The employee just stared at her, stunned. Since he didn’t leap to obey, she sucked in a huge breath and roared at him like a GI Instructor.

Failed Applicant: “When I tell you to do something, you had better be in the air before asking, ‘How high?’!”

My boss, who was nearby waiting for the interview, sprinted over to see what the fuss was about. She spun on him with barely a pause for breath and just went off. She laid into him at top volume, listing all the ways things WOULD be changing under her leadership because she didn’t like the way the store was organized.

Failed Applicant: “The makeup will be relocated! The groceries will now be moved to the front of the store and to the left of the entrance doors instead of their current location! And boy howdy, there will be no more of this inclusivity bulls***; toys will be clearly labeled for boys or girls from now on.”

My boss was silent, his face slowly turning to stone with every word that came out of the woman’s mouth, and his arms slowly crossing. He waited for her to pause and stopped her tirade like a mountain stops an airplane.

Boss: *In a calm, cold voice* “I don’t like your attitude. Nastiness like yelling at the employees is completely banned here. You have zero say in how the store is set up, and in no way, shape, or form, are you going to be employed here or in any store of our brand. I will be blacklisting your application as unhireable in our system.”

Failed Applicant: “You’re a man! So you just don’t like me because I’m too much of a strong woman; that intimidates you!”

Boss: “No, I just don’t hire people who will get the store sued.”

Then, he showed her the door. 

I could only shake my head and go back to what I was doing with a new story to tell.