Se Habla Japañol
(I am taking orders on both lanes at the fast-food restaurant. I already have other customers at the second window as someone pulls up to the menu board.)
Customer: “Hablas español?” (“Do you speak Spanish?”)
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’ll be with you in just a minute.”
Customer: “Hablas español?”
(I say the only thing I know in Spanish.)
Me: “Lo siento, pero no puedo hablar español. Solamente inglés o japonés.” (“I’m sorry, I don’t speak Spanish. Only English or Japanese.”)
Customer: *in heavily accented English* “I SPEAK JAPANESE TOO!”
Me: “Hontoo? Nihongo o hanasu?” (“Really? You speak Japanese?”)
Customer: “Soo desu yo! Shichi-ban ga hoshii, nomimono wa Sprite desu!” (“Yes I do! I want a number 7 with Sprite!”)
Me: “Nani mo ga hoshii?” (“Would you like anything else?”)
Customer: “Chotto.” (“No thank you.”)
Me: “Hai soo desu, shichi doru san juu sento onegaishimasu. Ni-ban me fune de gozaimasu.”
(The other customers at the second window are still there with a flabbergasted look on their faces. I hand them their food.)
Me: “Don’t ask, it’d take too long to explain. Have a nice night.”
Other Customers: “Sayonara!”
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