That’s A Big No-Noel From Me  

, , , , | Right | December 8, 2019

(I work for a call centre in Dublin and, after a long call, the customer and I are finished speaking.)

Me: “Would you like a reference number just in case you need to call back?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

Me: “[Reference Number].”

Customer: “Can I get your name, as well?”

Me: “My name is Noel.”

Customer: “What do you mean, I cannot have your name? This is a disgrace!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, I said my name is Noel.”

Customer: “I do not understand why you cannot give me your name!”

Me: “Sir, my name is Noel, as in Christmas. Noooooeeeeeeel.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you.”

(So much gets lost in conversations over the telephone.)

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Unfiltered Story #163986

, , | Unfiltered | December 2, 2019

(During college, I worked weekends in a clothing store to earn some extra cash. I am working on the fitting rooms when a woman about my age enters.)

Me: “Hi! The changing room to your left is free. Let me know if you need help with extra sizes!”

Customer: “No I don’t need any f*****g help. I just want to try on these f*****g clothes and be left the f**k alone.”

(Shocked, I let her enter the fitting room and wonder how someone can be so miserable. A few minutes later she comes out.)

Customer: “I just wanted to apologise for the way I spoke to you a minute ago.”

Me: “Oh, thank you. We all have bad days!”

Customer: *while looking at me like I’m something she stepped in* “Well I’m not having a bad day actually. I just don’t have time to be dealing with uneducated fools like you and the rest of the workers. I am highly educated, have an amazing job with a 6 figure salary, and drive a brand new BMW. I don’t need help from someone who dropped out of school and works for minimum wage. You’re never going to amount to anything and are a drain on society.”

Me: *furious* “You are a disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself. Your fancy education may have landed you a well paying job but it obviously taught you nothing about the real World. Not that it’s any of your business but I am about to graduate top of my class from [top university]. Everyone has to start somewhere, but maybe your fancy BMW has made you forget that.”
Coworker: “How dare you! Your manager will be hearing about this!”

(She didn’t say anything to my manager but I wouldn’t have cared as it was my last day. The following Monday I started an entry level position for a large company with a number of other recent graduates, including the woman from the fitting room! So much for her fancy six figure job – we were only earning minimum wage! She spent the next few weeks studiously avoiding me before disappearing one day. Turns out she failed some of her final college exams and didn’t graduate so the company let her go. Karma!)

Unfiltered Story #177734

, , | Unfiltered | November 19, 2019

I work in a pet store as a supervisor we have a very adorable very crazy umberella cockatoo.

The cocokatoo is hand reared and while still a teenager is higly bonded with me so is for the most part perfectly friendly.
On one very busy stormy day (he hates when its stormy out he get very scared of the rain hitting the tin roof) our cocokatoo is out mostly on his stand or on my arm (to settle him i take him on my jobs with me)
A customer sees this and follows me around, every chance he got he tred to pet the bird.
Me: Sir please would you stop trying to pet the bird? It doesn’t know you and like all signs posted around state h can bite.
Customer: Well he’s not biting you.
Me: He is very attacted to me and currenlty upset which is the only reason hes looking for my affection right now otherwise hed be playing with his toys on his stand.
Customer: So i can hold him (he proceeds to try take the bird who has now moved away from the customer from my lower arm and is now hanging onto one pigtail and my shoulder)
Me: Sir, please back up (wth that i get my keys out and head to the night cage to put the bird away as hes starting to get annoyed)
As i get to the cage the bird comes back down to my arm ready to enter the cage and I give him a pat. As i turn to put my arm up to a perch the customer throws himself at my arm and the bird jumps onto my body as the customer hits my arm.
Me : (call’s another safe member) sir move away or you will be bared!
Customer: This is a pet shop i just want to pet him! (he moves forward as i’m liftin the bird into the cage which i get into myself to sheild the bird from the customer bird decides hes had enough and goes to bite customer lucky i moved and bird gets my nose instead- thankfully just a quick nib as it sees its me its got)
Customer: That bird must hate you. (and with that he walks off)
I put the bird away do some tricks to calm it down and lock the cae up.
Customer 2: can you help me (blood still pouring from my nose)
Me: em not currently (i did point out the other staff member who was right next to me though)

Unfiltered Story #177722

, | Unfiltered | November 18, 2019

I work as a supervisor in a pet store, having worked with animals for 7 years (two in whih i was also studying animal care bahaviour and prevet nursing.) To sell higher does parasitic you need the manager of your store to be licensed (so they can be assured you as staff are trained to sell such meds)

Customer- Have you got any of those little pippettes that kill fleas
Me – we currently only have the mild one as we just got a new manager and as a result she is yet to be licensed to sell the vet standard product.
Customer – Oh, its becauce of the junkies (irish term for drug user)
Me – Em no sir its because the higher dose medication is a higher dose of parasitic, there is no legal requirement on buying it once someone is licensed, we just need to ensure that everyone is trained and we have a license holder in store.
Customer (while laughing) No dear i heard junkies use it all the time, it makes them high or whatever.
Me (getting pissed off) – no its because when people who arent qualified to sell the vet standard products they sell wrong doses to dogs too small or young and that would make your pet dead, which is what we dont want.
Customer (again laughing) – Thats silly, its only for fleas its not like its a drug (yes he actually said that) it cant harm anything. Sure dont worry i’ll just get it online.
With that him and his two dogs left…

Can’t Even “Spare” A Moment To Listen

, , , , | Right | October 30, 2019

(In Ireland, all cars have to go through a road-worthiness test every one or two years. If you fail, it can either be a defect, which means you have to schedule and pay for a retest, or if can be a visual, which means the testers just need to visually inspect the car which can be done at any time for free. I’m waiting for my test results when they call up the guy in front of me.)

Worker: “Now, Mr. [Customer], your car hasn’t passed today because your rear tire is bald. However, your spare tire is perfect. This is just a visual defect, so once a good tire is put on in place of the bald tire, you will pass. You don’t need to reschedule for a visual inspection; it’s free and we can do it without an appointment.”

Customer: “For f***’s sake, I can’t afford a new tire right now!”

Worker: “I understand. What I’m saying is that your spare tire is good. You just need to swap the bad tire for a good tire and you’ll pass.”

Customer: “That’s not f****** good enough. I don’t have the time or money to get a new tire. This is typical of our f****** government trying to shaft the decent, hard-working man.”

Worker: “Mr. [Customer], you just need a visual inspection, so if you can put a good tire on your car right now, I can go straight out and pass you. Your spare tire is good. You just need to put a good tire on the car.”

Customer: “Why do you keep repeating the same thing? Are you f****** dumb?! I bet there’s nothing wrong with my car and you just have a quota of cars you have to fail every day to get more money for the government.”

Me: “Oh, for God’s sake! If you’d stop ranting and listen, he’s trying to tell you to put your spare tire on the car now and he’ll pass you!”

(The customer looks at me and then at the worker, who makes the slightest nod. The customer goes red and storms out to his car.)

Worker: *to me* “Thank you. We can’t outright tell people to do that and some people just don’t get the hint.”

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