Sometimes The Lightbulb Just Doesn’t Go Off

, , , , , | Working | July 24, 2020

My family and I had just flown from the US to Ireland for a ten-day vacation. We were spread out over two hotels across the street from each other. Our flight came in at around five or six in the morning, so we were exhausted and just wanted to curl up in a bed and sleep.

My aunt and I were sharing rooms for the trip, so we checked in, went up to the room, and started to explore the room. We were having trouble figuring out how to turn the lights on. There were no wall switches, but some of the lamps had knobs. We tried turning them over and over and over, but no luck. We searched all around the room for a switch but came up empty.

My aunt went down to the front desk to ask about how to turn on the lights, and they told her it was on the wall. I found some odd-looking contraption on the wall near the door with what looked like a button. When I pressed the button, the lights came on, but as soon as I took my finger off, they turned back off.

We could not figure out how to keep them on, so we went back down to the desk. They were never rude to us, but you could tell they thought we were idiots who didn’t know how to operate a simple light. They came back to the room with us, took our key card, slid it into the contraption, and walked off. We stood there, dumbfounded.

We had never come across this in our one or two hotel stays a year in the US. We told my other uncle about our troubles that night at dinner. He, being a more seasoned traveler than us, chuckled at us, remembering his first time. Apparently, these key card contraptions to activate lights are in the US, but they are definitely not frequent.

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Unfiltered Story #198722

, , | Unfiltered | June 27, 2020

(I’m waiting in line for an appointment to make a witness statement. A woman and her adult son are in front of me and abusing the poor policeman while the son is rummaging in his backpack)

Woman: I said, I want to see the warrant!
Officer: Ma’am, I’ve already told you, the officer presented it to you when he called by.
Woman: HE DID NOT –
Son: Ma –
Woman: Shut up, [name]. Listen, you f***ing pig, I work from 7am to 7pm, I took a day off to sort this s*** out and you’re lying right to my face! My house was a mess and he just barged in like a [derogatory term for people who live in mobile homes]!
Son: Ma, I –
Officer: Ma’am, I’m sorry, [other officer] isn’t in a position to see you right now –
Woman: NOT IN A POSITION?! *begins ranting again*
Son: Ma! Will you listen –
Woman: I said, shut up! Go away!
Officer: Would you like to speak to the sergeant?
Woman: D*** right I would!

(Officer disappears behind a door, leaving the woman to mutter to herself. Her son, looking incredibly frustrated, finally loses it. He shoves a piece of paper at his mother and waits for her to read it. She pales, clutching the paper.)

Woman: Why the f*** did you not tell me you found it?!
Son: I tried!

(The woman crumples the warrant and throws it in the trash can, storming out, while her son trails behind, looking embarrassed. At that moment the officer comes out with the sergeant to see me and no one else in the station.)

Me: Hi! Sorry that you had to deal with that, but at least she didn’t litter!

Unfiltered Story #195960

, , | Unfiltered | June 9, 2020

I’m the bad customer here. My friend and I were 16 but wanted to get the child price into the cinema.
Me: two 15-year-olds for [movie] please
Ticket guy: that’s an 18’s movie.

It’s Always In The Last Place You Look… And Were

, , , , , | Right | April 10, 2020

(I work at a restaurant. It’s close to closing time and the inside bar is closing. There are still some customers outside on the terrace finishing their drinks. I’m cleaning tables when a woman approaches me.)

Customer: “I think someone took my handbag; can you check if someone handed one into the bar?”

Me: “No problem. I’ll be right back.”

(The bartenders inside say nothing has been handed in so I go back and tell this to the woman. I continue cleaning when she approaches me again five minutes later.)

Customer: *irritated* “Ahem. I found my handbag.”

Me: “That’s great!”

Customer: *still irritated* “It was exactly where I had left it, where I had been sitting earlier.”

Me: “Erm, good.”

Customer: “You didn’t look very hard, did you?”

Me: “Erm, you asked me to ask at the bar for it; I presumed you would have checked the last place you were sitting.”

(The woman stares at me smugly for about ten seconds before swinging her bag over her shoulder dramatically.)

Customer: “You should have looked harder!”

Me: *speechless*

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Some EXTRA Branding Awareness

, , , , | Right | March 4, 2020

(I am working in a large grocery store packing shelves when a customer approaches me with two different brands of toilet paper in his hands.)

Customer: “Do you see these two packs of toilet roll?”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Well, [Brand #1] costs 20p more than [Brand #2].”

Me: “I’m not sure of the exact prices, but I’ll take your word for it.”

Customer: “Here’s the thing. I was just over at the fruit and veg weighing scales and [Brand #2] weighs more than [Brand #1]. You get more for value for money if you buy [Brand #2]!”

(The customer is now clearly excited that he has somehow got one over on the evil corporation.)

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: *whispering* “Keep that to yourself; if the boys up above find out they’ll raise the price of [Brand #2] before you know it!”

Me: “Will do…”

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