Unfiltered Story #143691

, , | Unfiltered | March 16, 2019

We have a colour co-ordinated system of in trays in my office, with labels in in yellow, green, blue and pink.

Customer: Can I give you this?
Me: Yep, just pop it in the top blue tray there.
C: *Stares at wall*
M: The blue tray…
C: *points to the green labelled tray* This one?
M: No, to your right, the blue one…

Unfiltered Story #142730

, , , | Unfiltered | March 5, 2019

I am the breakfast chef in a hotel and received an order.

Customer: Eggs Benedict no muffin no sauce with bacon.

Me: So poached eggs and bacon 😞

They Haven’t Got A Glue

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2019

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you sell cake toppers with numbers?”

Me: “Yes! They’re right over here.”

Customer: “Perfect! This is exactly what I’m looking for. And there’s only one more 5!” *sees that the number came off of the stick* “Oh, this one’s broken. Do you have any in the back?”

Me: “No, sorry. We don’t keep any stock in the back. But this would be easy to fix. I’m sure we could give it to you at a discounted price.”

(We talk about how it can be fixed. She wants the number reattached to the stick and the paint fixed in the back where the two pieces meet, so I show her our adhesives and paint.)

Customer: “Can you fix it for me?”

Me: “You mean glue it and paint it for you? I’m not sure about that. Let me ask my manager.”

(I call the manager over and explain the situation.)

Manager: “I’m sorry. We can’t do that.”

Customer: “But it’s such a little thing. Can’t you fix it for me? It would just take a little bit of glue and paint.”

Manager: “We can’t. I’m sorry. If we open those products, we can’t sell them anymore.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to buy glue and paint just for this.” *wanders off*

Me: *to the manager* “Thanks for dealing with her.”

Manager: “No problem. She doesn’t want to buy them, but what she doesn’t understand is that if we open them, in essence, we’re buying them, because we can’t sell them!”

Ireland Is A Very Colorful Place

, , , , | Friendly | January 5, 2019

(I am trying to pull out of a side road into the main road. It always takes a while to pull out here and I am getting frustrated. I have a friend in the car and am venting to her. My window is open as it is both warm and sunny — very unusual for Ireland.)

Me: *as a blue car comes from the right* “Maybe after this blue guy. Oh, here’s a red guy, and a black guy. Maybe after this red guy. Oh, no, here comes another black guy.”

Me: “…”

Me: “I hope that actual black guy walking towards us didn’t hear that.”

Asking For Flights Of Fancy

, , , , | Right | December 22, 2018

(I work at an airline.)

Caller: “How much to fly return with you to Bangladesh in two weeks?”

Me: *checking* “I see that neither we, nor our partner airlines, travel there, but [other airlines] do. I can provide you with their contact numbers—“

Caller: “What I asked you was, ‘How much will you charge me for a return ticket to travel there?’ I didn’t ask for you to fob me off onto someone else. Answer my question, please.”

Me: “Sorry about that. On what date do you intend to travel there, when would you intend to return, and in what class would you prefer to travel?”

(He gives the details; the price is around €4,000 in economy class before the various taxes and charges, which is the maximum allowed by law and the only fare that head office has programmed into our system. I wince in anticipation of his reaction to the news.)

Caller: “What? Why is it so insanely expensive?”

Me: “It’s the highest price in economy class for that route and time that’s allowed by law. [My Airline] doesn’t offer any discounts or reductions to travel on other airlines that aren’t our partners, much less to destinations where we don’t go. If you were to contact the airlines that do fly there, they’d probably have prices closer to what you were expecting, since they compete for passengers on that route.”

Caller: “That’s ridiculous! You should be ashamed of yourselves for charging such a rate. It’s no way to do business!”

Me: “I don’t claim that it is good, sir, merely that it is so. Shall I get those other airlines’ numbers for you?”

Caller: *frustrated growl or snarl, followed by a click as he hangs up*

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