Unfiltered Story #162098

, , | Unfiltered | September 11, 2019

Customer: I need some things printed

Me: Ok, do you need them within the hour, or would you like to come back later in the day for them?

Customer: It’s 2 files and they’re double sided. They’re supposed to look like a brochure.

Me: Ok. So do you need them within the hour or can you leave them with us for longer than that?

Customer: Well can’t I show you the files?

Me: Sure you can. I just wanted to know when you needed them for.

Customer: Oh you can’t do them?

Me: Yes… I can do them… we have a 1 hour express service, or a standard service…

Customer: I need you to do them now.

Me: I can’t do them now, I can do them in an hour.

Lost And Found Is Safe And Sound

, , , | Right | August 16, 2019

(I am in a copy shop. Sometimes, customers forget things at their workstation — their drive, their print card, etc. Anyone can print with any card, and a full one — good for 2000 pages of copying or print-outs — is worth $70. I find that someone has left their card in the slot I was going to use. I take it and go to a clerk.)

Me: “I found this card; the person using the computer before me must have forgotten it.”

Clerk: *warily* “And?”

Me: “I want to return it. Do you have a lost and found here?”

Clerk: “Yes, but…”

Me: “But what?”

Clerk: “Others don’t usually give them back.”

(I must have looked very perplexed at that, but the clerk smiled and took the card, saying she’d keep it safe until the owner came back. From that day on, all clerks recognized and smiled at me when I went into the shop, especially when I went to the main desk with found flash drives and cards while declaring that I wanted to give them back.)

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Unfiltered Story #160122

, , | Unfiltered | August 15, 2019

(There are two separate customers in the self serve area and I’m helping one couple at their machine, trying to get them to understand the simple instructions, but the woman at the next copier keeps huffing and looking at me, and complaining to herself. Finally I look over at her)

Me: Are you having a problem?

Customer: YES! First it wouldn’t read my card because I put it in before it asked me to, and now that I’ve done it the way it wants, it’s telling me to remove my card!!!

Me: .. Uh… That’s because you have to remove it….

Customer: Oh.

(I go back to helping my original customers but the other lady gets all huffy and loud again)

Me: What’s happening?

Customer: It won’t do anything! The screen is just black!

Me: Did you press the ‘on’ button?

Customer: It should already be on!

Me: Did you see the sign on the copier that says the press the ‘on’ button if the screen is black? They go into sleep mode when they’re not in use.

Customer: Oh

(I go back to helping the original customer, but see out of the corner of my eye that she’s putting the paper on the glass the wrong way)

Me: That’s going to cut off half your paper, ma’am. Make sure you put it the way the picture on the left shows you.

Customer: Huh?

Me: See the diagram on the left side of the copier? That’s how you have to put your paper

(The original customers weren’t super happy either. ha)

Unfiltered Story #159976

, , | Unfiltered | August 5, 2019

a husband and wife come up to me with a coworker who is from another department.

Coworker: This couple here is looking for a price on a really big poster.

Me: Ok, what size?

Coworker: six yards long…

Me: How long is three yards? how many inches in that?

Husband: WOW I can tell you went to school in Canada!

Me: … excuse me?

Husband: You don’t even know what a yard is!

Me: Well I know it’s similar to a metre, but I need to know the size in inches, ’cause that’s how we price it.

Husband: And you don’t know yards!?

Me: … no

Coworker: It’s 12×3

Me: … but that’s only 36… 36 inches can’t possibly be six yards

(the husband and wife are basically yelling over each other now, yelling at me for not understanding what my coworker was saying.)

Me: I just need to know the size in inches.

Coworker: yes and it’s 36, times six.

Me: You said it was 12 times 6!

Husband: There are 12 inches in a foot!

Me: … I know that

Husband: and three feet in a yard!

Me: Ok, I didn’t know that…

Husband: He told you already! It’s not that hard!

(At this point I’m thinking if isn’t hard, then why hasn’t he just told me the size in inches like I asked?)

(I pull out a calculator and figure out how many inches long it is, and then ask them how wide it is in inches. Of course he tells me in feet, and I have to do more math in my head to figure out how many inches it is. When I say out loud the inches, he says “yes” in a tone that makes me feel stupid.)

(I finally figure everything out)

Me: It would be about 45 bucks.

Husband: It’s about time!!!! That’s all I needed to know!

Unfiltered Story #159075

, , | Unfiltered | July 22, 2019

(I am the manager on duty in this story, and it is our store policy to ask for a Driver’s Licence and type the licence number into the til when a customer pays with a personal cheque. I get called over because the customer is trying to pay with a personal cheque that has someone else’s name on it)

Me: I’m sorry, we can’t accept this cheque because it’s got a man’s name on it. We can only accept personal cheques if they are from the same person whose name is on it, with ID to prove it.

Customer: But it’s from the business! It’s the owner of the business and he wrote it out for me!

Me: Ok, but it isn’t a business cheque, with a business name on it. It’s got his personal name on it, with nothing else.

Customer: Well can’t you just put my driver’s licence number in anyway?

Me: No, that would defeat the purpose of that. The whole point of doing that, is to make sure you’re the same person who is on the cheque. Which you are not.

Customer: But it’s from the business and this is how he’s going to be paying for all of his orders from now on!

Me: Well he actually won’t be able to do that unless he comes into the store himself, or gets business cheques.

Customer: WHY NOT!?

Me: …. Because you have to be the same person who is on the cheque. It prevents people from stealing cheques from others and using them as payment.

Customer: But this is where I work! It’s his business!

Me: There is no business name on it anywhere, it’s just a man’s name.

Customer: Well I want to talk to another manager!

Me: I’m the only manager in. You’ll have to pay a different way or he will have to come into the store himself.

(This continued for some time, with her throwing business cards in me face and yelling at me at how I was being ridiculous. She payed with a credit card.)