The Glaring Is Not Coming From The Lenses

, , , , | Right | March 23, 2020

(I am taking a passport photo for a lady.)

Me: “Can you please remove your glasses?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I don’t have to take off my glasses. It’s not the law.”

Me: “We prefer if you take your glasses off for passport photos.”

Customer: “I looked it up before I came and you don’t have to take your glasses off!”

Me: “You’re right, you don’t have to. But if there is any glare at all on your lenses, your photo will get rejected, and you will have to pay for us to take it again. It’s very difficult to take a photo with a flash without getting any glare, so if you leave them on, your photo will probably get rejected.”

(The customer took her glasses off without saying anything.)

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Unfiltered Story #190318

, , , | Unfiltered | March 21, 2020

(A customer is in the self serve copy area putting something together, but then she comes up to me in the full serve area)

Customer: Do you have a highlighter I can use that isn’t yellow?

Me: I think so (I go into our copy supplies drawer and pull out a blue one) Here you go. (I continue with my work)

Customer: Excuse me, don’t you have any other colours? Or more than one?

Me: No, sorry, that was the only highlighter in there.

Customer: You don’t have a pink one or anything?

Me: No, sorry, just the blue one. If you need different coloured highlighters though, we do sell them in aisle 5. You can get a package of assorted coloured highlighters.

Customer: No, I don’t want to buy any, I just want to use yours.

Me: Well, then you’ll have to use blue because that’s all we have.

Customer: But don’t you have any others?

Me: No. We just have that one. Again, you can purchase your own package of them, and then you’ll have a bunch of colours.

Customer: Well this isn’t even a highlighter!

Me: … yes it is

Customer: oh

Let Me Explain This To You In Black And White

, , , , , | Right | March 12, 2020

(I’m the owner of several copy centers. In the early days, I used to be on location quite often to adapt the business to customer needs. I answer the phone in order to let employees concentrate on in-store clients.)

Customer: “Hi, is this [Copy Shop]?”

Me: “Yes, how may we help you?”

Customer: “I’ve seen your advertising on the street and it says you also make color copies?”

Me: “Of course.” *gives her some pricing information*

Customer: “Can you also make a color copy of my ID card?”

(This is a precise translation of the customer’s wording; luckily, I have a recording of the conversation.)

Me: “Yes, sure, we can do that.”

(I give the customer our address and instructions on how to get to us. One hour later, in the store, I overhear this from the back:)

Customer: “Hi.”

Employee: “How may I help you?”

Customer: “I spoke with somebody on the phone and he told me that you can make color copies.”

Employee: “Sure.” *gives pricing information* “Can I have the material?”

Customer: “Here you go.” *hands out an A4 sheet and a black and white copy of her ID card*

Employee: *confused* “Are you sure you want a color copy of this? Please note that using a color copier will usually give better quality in this instance.”

Customer: “Yes, sure!”

(My employee makes the copy, which is obviously still black and white, and gives it to the lady.)

Employee: “Here you go!”

Customer: “What’s this? Where are the colors?”

Employee: “Since your original only had the color black, it is the only color on the copy, even if it’s a color copy.”

Customer: “No, I want a color copy. I specially called in advance and asked if you make color copies and I was told so!”

Employee: “I am sorry, but what you demand is technically not possible; I would need your original ID and then the copy would have the colors.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t have it, so this will have to do. Please do your minimum-wage job or get somebody more competent here; I didn’t spend an hour reaching this place only to be refused service.”

Employee: “I’m sorry, but there is no one else to take your order.”

Customer: “How about the guy over there, pointing at me?!”

Employee: “That is our manager.”

Me: “I’m the owner, and it is me that you spoke with on the phone. Everything that my colleague did and said is correct.”

Customer: “Are you joking? Are you making fun of your clients? You gave me misleading information.”

Me: “No, the information was correct. Either you failed to provide us with all the information or failed to understand the basic concept of a copy.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t care. I was misled and I’m not leaving here unless there is color on that copy.”

Me: “Okay, one moment, please.”

(I go with the copy in the back, take some highlighters, and put some color on it before returning.)

Me: “Here you go.”

Customer: *still taking the sheet and before looking at it* “See, it was possible all along!” *looking at it* “What the h*** is this? Are you making fun of me?”

Me: “Yes, it’s most entertaining, and as it turns out, you were right; I was able to add some color.”

Customer: *takes the tip jar off the counter and throws it at me* “You are a cretin and an idiot! I’m going to close this business; I’ll send ‘Consumer Protection Oversight’ and the police! You’ll see!”

(She left, slamming the door, forgetting the folder containing all of her paperwork. That’s probably how she “lost” her ID in first place, to be left with only a copy. To this day, she hasn’t returned for her stuff, but as promised, we got a visit from the “Consumer Protection Oversight” after a complaint from her. They brought the complaint paper, which was quite accurate, and only came to see if it was true; they were as amused by the events as I was and did not even consider giving us a fine or asking for a bribe, as it usually happens around here!)

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“Right Now” Is A Staple Of Copy Shops

, , , , | Right | March 3, 2020

(A customer comes in with a folder of stapled bundles of paper.)

Customer: “I need copies of these.”

Me: “Okay, and would you like to keep the copies the same as your originals? In stapled packages like this?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

Me: “Okay, and do you need it today?”

Customer: “Oh, I need it right now.”

Me: “I can certainly start it right now, but I can’t have it done right away for you. Something like this is a bit more time-consuming.”

Customer: “What’s time consuming about it?!”

Me: “Well, I have to take the staples out and copy each package individually, and I’m assuming you want the originals re-stapled?”

Customer: “Ugh, this is ridiculous! You’re saying you can’t do it right now?”

Me: “I can definitely start it right now; I’ll take them to the copier right away. But like I said, it’s a bit more time consuming and takes more attention. I can guarantee it in an hour if you like. But it—”

Customer: *cutting me off* “It’s going to take a whole hour?!”

Me: “I can guarantee it in an hour, but I might have it done in less time.”

Customer: “Fine! I guess I don’t have any other option!”

(I quickly fill out an order form.)

Me: “And is this your cell phone number? I can call you as soon as it’s done.”

Customer: “Oh, I’m going to stand right here while you do it.”

Me: “Okay.”

(The job is going smoothly, and the store isn’t busy at the beginning, and I’m dreading her saying something snarky about how it didn’t take long like I said it would. Before I get too far into the order, I hear her on her phone talking loudly:)

Customer: “I’m waiting for them to try and get my order done because I needed it yesterday and this is getting ridiculous.”

(When I was halfway through her order, a line-up formed and I had to stop to book in a complicated order for someone else and also do a passport photo. It took me a little over half an hour to get her job completed in between and after other customers. She was really nice to me when I brought it over to her, I think because she realized she was being rude. But I’m SUPER glad that she stayed so she could witness what it’s like for us behind the counter, and why I don’t tell customers I can do their orders for them on the spot. Just because it isn’t busy at one moment, it doesn’t mean it’ll stay like that. Other customers exist, too.)

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Taxing Faxing, Part 26

, , , | Right | February 15, 2020

Customer: “How much is faxing?”

Me: “It’s $1.50 a page for local and $2 a page for long distance.”

Customer: “It’s going to [Town].”

Me: “That would be long distance.”

Customer: *making a sour face and shaking his head* “No. Noooooo, no way. That’s not long distance.”

Me: “Why did you ask me, then?”

Taxing Faxing, Part 25
Taxing Faxing, Part 24
Taxing Faxing, Part 23

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