Under The Banner Of Panic

, , , , | Working | March 4, 2019

(My general manager is a very nervous woman. I can’t say that I blame her; she has a lot of unfair pressure put on her by the company to change things that nobody can control. The guy above her, the district manager, is visiting us before the store opens. He absolutely terrifies her, and she typically responds to that fear by yelling at us or micromanaging. I am helping the copy center lead with some jobs that needed to be completed by the time the store opens for customers to pick up. A few days ago, corporate sent us files with sample banners to be printed and hung up in the vestibule to push some sale on indoor and outdoor banners. Corporate stated in their email that the banners were to be hung up by this day at the latest.)

General Manager: “[Lead], where are those banners? They need to be hung up today!”

Copy Center Lead: “They’re printed. I just need to finish these orders before 8:00.”

General Manager: “Well, they need to go up before we open.”

Copy Center Lead: “We’re working as fast as we can.”

General Manager: “They’re supposed to be up today.”

Copy Center Lead: *calmly* “They will be, but I have two customers coming in first thing and they need these orders done.”

(The general manager scurries away and we continue working. A few minutes later, she returns.)

General Manager: “Are you done yet? Those banners need to be hung before 8:00!”

Copy Center Lead: *still calm, as if soothing a child* “[General Manager], we will get them up; we are almost finished with these orders.”

General Manager: *half panicked, half bossy* “You have to do them now. They have to be up before the store opens! You had days to do it; they have to be up today!”

(She’s right; they did have several days to put the banners up, but the copy center is the most understaffed and overworked department of all. All of our customers love the lead and she has personally turned the department from a slow, money-losing department to an extremely busy, always profitable one. Unfortunately, the other people in the department either cannot or will not keep up her pace, so she is often left rushing to finish orders.)

Copy Center Lead: *slowly* “What would you like me to do? Make the customers wait, or put up the banners when I’m finished?”

General Manager: *really panicking now* “The banners need to go up. I don’t understand why you are always rushing at the last minute to get these orders done. Isn’t anyone else doing anything at night? I don’t understand why this is always an issue. The banners have to be up before the store opens.”

(Little does the general manager know, the district manager is standing behind her, mocking her with a “talking hand” and a screwed-up “angry face.” She turns around and he drops the act, keeping a neutral expression on his face.)

General Manager: *sees him and scurries off again*

District Manager: “What the f*** is her problem?”

(The banners went up, the orders were finished, and the store somehow avoided bursting into flames when we hung the last banner up at 8:01. If the general manager hadn’t always been so freaked out by anyone with authority over her, she could have seen that the district manager was a really chill guy who wasn’t out to get her. Yes, he’s had to be tough on her before, but that was after his superiors were screaming down the line at him.)

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Knowing Your Apple Bob Cats

, , , | Right | March 1, 2019

(I used to be in Army Cadets, so I know the phonetic alphabet, and use the proper words when clarifying letters.)

Me: “That’s B as in ‘Bravo’?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Bravo.”

Customer: “What are you saying?”

Me: “I’m asking you to confirm the letter. Was it B as in ‘Bravo’?”

Customer: “Oh, that’s weird. I was confused because people usually just say, ‘Bob.’”

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Unfiltered Story #135407

, , | Unfiltered | January 3, 2019

(It is half hour to closing, and a woman comes in with a big, messy stack of papers. Some folded, some stapled, etc.)

Customer: I need these copied.

Me: Ok, do you want to use self serve or leave them with me?

Customer: I want you to do it.

Me: Alright. (I grab an order form and bring it to the counter)

Customer: Oh you’re not going to do it right now?

Me: No I don’t have time. We close in half an hour and I still have orders that are due first thing in the morning that I have to finish.

Customer: But I need them! I need them for a meeting at 9am tomorrow!

Me: Then I would suggest self serve.

Customer: But I can’t! You have to do them!

Me: I’m sorry, I don’t have time. That’s a time consuming order and I have a lot to do tonight still.

Customer: But I can’t!

(Her husband then comes in behind her)

Husband: What are you doing?

Customer: She won’t copy them!

Husband: Well they close in half an hour! I thought we were doing it ourselves!

Customer: But I don’t know how!

Husband: I do!

Customer: But we don’t have a card!

Husband: Yes, we can use my credit card.

Customer: NO you have to use a *store* card! And we don’t have one!

Husband: No, we can use a credit card.

Customer: NO we can’t!

Me: yes you can.

Customer: Oh….

(The whole time that they are in self serve — which was until 5 minutes to close, btw — all I could hear was the wife complaining and being snotty about having to do it herself and how the machines always break down and why couldn’t the girl just do it for us)

(I managed to get my orders done that were due the next morning, and get my closing duties done just in time. If I took her order, the orders due in the morning wouldn’t have been finished)

(The husband was happy and pleasant the whole time, and thanked me when they left)

Unfiltered Story #129873

, , | Unfiltered | December 2, 2018

Coworker: “I’m sorry, this is copyrighted so we can’t copy it.”

Customer #1: “Well this was copied before!”

Coworker: “Well they weren’t supposed to copy it.”

Customer #2: “Mom, don’t argue with her! She’ll lose her job!”

Customer #1: “Okay then, copy this!” *angrily throws paper on counter*

Customer #2: “Don’t throw it at her!”

Customer #1: “Shut your mouth!”

Google Provides Everything On The Internet, Except Permission

, , , | Right | December 1, 2018

(I work in a copy shop. We can get in loads of trouble if we are found copying material that’s copyrighted. Our corporate has been seriously cracking down on this, and I’ve heard a few people were fired. A man has submitted a file of a very well-known, copyrighted figure, and wants dozens of prints made.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we aren’t allowed to print copyrighted material.”

Customer: “That’s not copyrighted; I say it’s okay.”

Me: “I’m afraid I just won’t be allowed to print it unless you have some proof you have permission to use the image.”

Customer: “Of course I have permission! I found it on Google!”

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