California Dreaming Of Getting To Its Destination

| ON, Canada | Right | July 29, 2017

(I’m getting a shipping quote for a customer.)

Me: “Okay, is it going within Canada or outside of Canada?”

Customer: “The States.”

Me: “Okay, do you know the city or the zip code that it’s going to?”

Customer: “No. It’s somewhere on the west coast.”

Me: “Uh, I need a city or a zip code.”

Customer: “It’s out west.”

Me: “…California?”

Customer: “No. The west coast, dear, not the east coast.”

Me: “California is on the west coast.”

Customer: “Oh. Yes, then. California.”

Me: “Okay. But I still need a city or a zip code.”

The Student Is Not Always Right

, , | Learning | June 30, 2017

(I’m standing second in line at a copy shop. The clerk is dealing with the customer in front of me who seems to be late for his bachelor thesis’ deadline.)

Employee: “Okay. That would be [price] and it will be ready in an hour for pick up or—”

Customer: *interrupting* “I’m sorry… WHEN?!”

Employee: “In an hour approximately. 12:30 pm.”

Customer: “Okay … And how are you planning to reimburse me?”

Employee: “I’m afraid I can’t follow you. Why would we need to reimburse you?”

Customer: “A friend of mine said adhesive binding only takes 15 minutes! The offices for university close at noon! You are responsible for me missing my deadline and having to repeat!”

Employee: “This time of year a lot of people need to turn in their theses. All we can do is—”

Customer: *interrupting* “You’re kidding right? Are you f****** serious?! NO! YOU’LL GET IT DONE IN 15 MINUTES OR REIMBURSE ME!”

Employee: *handing back the flash drive* “Tell you what: I’m going to do none of that. Please leave! Have a nice day and good luck!”

(The customer leaves, screaming profanities and how the copy shop is responsible for him failing his bachelor thesis. I step forward.)

Me: “Hi, I need an adhesive binding for my bachelor thesis, too. I’m a bit afraid to ask because of… well, all that… but my professor told me that you deliver to the university and that, if it’s printed the day of the deadline, it counts as turned in in time …”

Employee: “Sure thing. Yes, it does. We work closely with [University] and do that quite often.” *laughing* “I would’ve told him if he wouldn’t have interrupted me to make an a** of himself. Let’s just hope he learned a lesson from this, if it’s only not to wait until the last minute to get stuff printed.”

The Customer Is Not Always Copyright, Part 3

| ON, Canada | Right | April 16, 2017

(A husband and wife come in to get wedding announcements made, which have multiple professional photos in the design.)

Me: “So these photos were clearly taken by a professional, right?”

Husband: “Yep.”

Me: “Okay, so I just need something in writing from the photographer saying that you are allowed to use the photos.”

Wife: “No, it wasn’t a professional. It was a family friend.”

Me: “I still need permission. Just something with the photographer’s signature saying you were given the digital files to print yourself, or something like that.”

Wife: “But it wasn’t a professional! It was a friend! She’s not a professional!”

Me: “She still holds the copyrights to the photos, unless she’s given you the rights to them. If she has, I need something in writing stating that.”

Wife: “No! She never takes pictures! She just did this for us once! That’s the only time she’s ever taken pictures!”

Me: “Wow, she’s really good at it.”

Wife: “I KNOW!”

Me: “Okay, well, I’m sorry, but without the permission, I can’t print them. But I can still book in the order for you today, and once we get the permission, I’ll go ahead and print them.”

Husband: “Well, if all she wants us is for to write down that we can print them, I’m sure we can get her to do that.”

Wife: “No! I’m not asking her to do that! Just print the pictures.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t. But I’m sure she would be flattered if you tell her she needs to do that in order for us to print them.”

Wife: “No! She would be annoyed! She isn’t a professional photographer! She’s a land surveyor! She’s never done this before!”

Me: “It doesn’t matter. The photos are still copyrighted. If someone wrote a book for the first time and had another job, that wouldn’t mean their book isn’t copyrighted, just because they haven’t done it before, right? Same thing.”

Wife: “No! It’s not the same thing!”

(At this point, the next customer in line stepped in.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but she’s not going to print them without the permission. I’m a photographer and I give a release with my digital photos stating that they can be printed, because a lot of photographers charge per printed photo, and charge extra for a disc with the digital images.”

Husband: “We can get her to sign a thing for us.”

Wife: “No! We’ll just go somewhere else!”


That Thing That Holds Jay-Pegs

| ON, Canada | Right | April 15, 2017

Customer: “I need something printed off my ‘jee-pig’.”

Me: “Your what?”

Customer: “My ‘jee-pig’.” *holds up a USB flash drive*

Me: “Oooh… okay.” *I take it and put it in the computer*

Customer: “Why, is that not what it’s called?”

Me: “Umm, well I’ll be honest with you… I don’t think anyone will know what you’re talking about if you call it that.”

Customer: “Oh. What should I call it?”

Me: “A flash drive, memory stick, USB drive…”

Customer: “Oh. Okay. Memory stick. Huh. I always thought it was called a ‘jee-pig.'”

A Turn-Up For The Books

| ON, Canada | Right | January 11, 2017

(We are located in a mall, and for about five years, had a used book sale in the hallway right outside our store, with the money going to different charities every few months. With mall construction going on, we had to take it away.)

Customer: “Um, yeah, you used to have a book sale in the hall, but I don’t see any books anywhere.”

Me: “Yeah, we had to get rid of it, unfortunately.”

Customer: “So can I just give my books to you, then?”

Me: “No, we’re no longer doing the book sale.”

Customer: “So where do I take my books, then?”

Me: “Um, you can take them to the library, or I believe there is a used book store downtown you could take them to.”

Customer: “Ugh. I wanted to give them to you guys, though!”

Me: “Yes, but we no longer have a book sale.”

Customer: “Well, could I just put them on the floor in the hall?”

Me: “…No.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because then there would just be books on the floor in the hallway.”

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