Starts As A CSI Episode But Develops Into A Bigger Mystery

Copy Shop, Editors' Choice, Impossible Demands, Movies & TV, Photography, Stupid, USA | Right | November 15, 2022

Customer: “Hi! So, I was watching CSI and I saw them do this thing with the photos.”

Uh-oh. This is never a good start.

Customer: “They, like, zoomed in and made it all clear.”

Me: “Yeah, the old ‘zoom and enhance’ trick. Just to warn you, those shows are exaggerated; most of the time, you can’t do that in real life.”

Customer: “Yeah, well, I need you to do that for me.”

He produces a polaroid photo.

Customer: “I need you to zoom in on the post-it on the fridge in the background here.”

I take a look at the photo. The post-it itself is barely a blur.

Me: “Sir, I am sorry, but if you’re looking to get any information from what was written on that post-it, you’re not going to do so from this old photo.”

Customer: “D*** it! All the other stores said the same thing. I don’t understand why they can do it on TV but not in the stores!”

The customer’s phone starts ringing, and he answers.

Customer: “Yeah.” *Pauses* “I’m here now and they said they can’t do it, either.” *Pauses* “Yeah, well, I’m sorry, but if you want Aunt Grace’s peach cobbler recipe, then you’re going to have to ask her.” *Pauses* “Yeah, maybe you should apologize about the cat first and then ask her.” *Pauses* “No, I am not calling her; she’s your aunt!” *Pauses* “And because I’m not the one who did that to her cat!”