Designed For Failure

, , , , , | Working | November 16, 2020

I am looking for a photography job, and I find a job posting by a realty company for a camera operator. The description for the position involves photography, videography, and editing, which is perfect for me as I am experienced in those areas. A couple of days after applying, my husband and I are talking with a friend, who is also our realtor. I mention the job I applied for, and the realtor gives me the phone number of the realtor/owner of the company, who he personally knows.

I connect with him over text, and we exchange a few messages.

Owner: “Can you tell me about your experience with design?”

Me: “I’ve used [program] to lay out pages for magazines, newspapers, etc. But can you specify what kind of design you mean?”

“Design” could mean anything: logos, graphics, 3D animation, etc. He then lists two Adobe programs and does not clarify further. I respond that I am not a graphic designer — nor does it mention in my resume anywhere that I have experience with design, just photography and videography — and he doesn’t respond.

I re-read the job listing, thinking I must have not read it very carefully, but nowhere in the listing did it say anything about design or graphic design! If you’re hiring, be specific about what you’re looking for!

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Unfiltered Story #215205

, , , | Unfiltered | November 15, 2020

We offer to take passport photos, but newborn babys need to be at least 3-4 weeks old to avoid eye damage (Since the eyes have to be open while using flash from the camera). A woman enters with a child that looks like freshly baked.

Woman: Need passport for child.
Me: Im sorry, but your child needs to be at least 3 to 4 weeks old, or else you risk permanent damage.
Woman: But i need passport!

This goes back and forth a few times, after which she leaves frustrated. A few minutes later, a musclebound hunk of a man enters the shop, with her following 2 meters behind.

Muscleman, close to my face: You refused to take a picture?
Me, slightly speaking faster as i talk: imsorrysirdidntmeantoimsorry butchildneedstobe4weeksold…

He looks at the child: She clearly is older than that, cant you see?

With that in mind, and a soft, fast paced voice i took the pictures. They got what they wanted, but please everyone, rethink whats more important to you next time… and if its really worth the risk.

OMG, Like, Cancel Paper!

, , | Right | October 7, 2020

I work as a photographer where I take and print photos onsite, on-demand at parties. The print comes out.

Girl: “Oh, my God, I look awful. Delete it, delete it!”

Me: “I can’t.”

Girl: “No, seriously, delete it.”

Me: “I can’t. It’s paper; it’s real.”

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Divorced From Reality, Part 5

, , , , | Right | August 25, 2020

I’m a work-from-home photographer. One day, I get an email via my website.

Client: “Hi, I’m looking for a wedding photographer.”

We discuss her needs and wants for the day.

Client: “I want a full refund if we get divorced because I won’t need the photos then!”

Me: *Pause* “Good luck with your search for a photographer who agrees with those terms.” 

Divorced From Reality, Part 4
Divorced From Reality, Part 3
Divorced From Reality, Part 2
Divorced From Reality

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The Naked Truth About Photo Developing

, , , , | Right | September 24, 2019

(It is back in the days when photos are developed on film. I am an 18-year-old girl working one-hour photo. A college-age guy comes in with his girlfriend. They’re both staring at the ground and acting very nervous. This generally means I’m going to get asked a particular question.)

Customer: “Do you, um, process… um… Do you do… pictures? Like, you know…”

Me: *brightly* “Nudes?”

Customer: *finds the floor even more interesting*

Me: *totally deadpan* “One person in the photo, no touching, no toys. State law. If there are any children or animals involved I will call the police.” *cheerful again* “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

(The boy shoved a roll of film at me and hightailed it out of the store without saying another word. I covered the print window with a paper plate and started processing the film.)

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