Unfiltered Story #192299

, , | Unfiltered | April 22, 2020

Customer: Do you have fedex here?

Me: We do, but it’s just a drop box so you need to have a fedex account in order to use it. If you don’t have an account, we are also a full service pur—

Customer: (cutting me off, and NOT using a polite tone) PLEASE STOP TALKING!

(I stopped talking and made a face, because WHAT THE HELL)

Customer: I missed my package delivery and they said it was at the nearest fedex depot! I DON’T KNOW WHERE THAT IS!

(I of course didn’t say anything, because she yelled at me to stop talking so I wasn’t about to answer her. My coworker stepped in and told her where another fedex office might be)

Unfiltered Story #192198

, , | Unfiltered | April 16, 2020

(A customer picks up their business cards)

Customer: These are crap!

Me: What’s wrong with them?

Customer: The paper is too flimsy!

Me: (grabbing it) Hmm, that’s our standard business card paper.

Customer: It’s so flimsy! This is so unprofessional! Look at my old cards! (holds them out and flicks the paper to show how sturdy it is) See how good these ones are!?

Me: those ones were most likely done through a third party. We can order some for you, but they’ll be more expensive than these ones.

Customer: These cards are crap! Don’t you have any other paper!?

Me: No, nothing in store that’s thicker. (I grab one of our own cards) see, even our cards are on the same kind of paper.

Customer: well it’s crap!

Me: Do you want to order from a different company?

Customer: Don’t you have glossy paper!?

Me: Yes, but it’s not much different. (I grab the glossy stock and hand it to her)

Customer: This is WAY better!

Me: Um, ok. (it’s slightly thicker but really and truly, it’s almost exactly the same) Do you want me to just reorder them in the glossy stock, then?

Customer: The matte paper is crap!

Me: Right, so would you like me to reorder them in the glossy stock, since you liked that one better? Redo orders are always rush priority.

Customer: Have you felt this matte paper? It’s crap!

Me: I understand. Since you’re not happy with the matte stock, I can request a redo for you, and have them do it on the gloss.

Customer: I can’t believe you even sell business cards on this paper! It’s so flimsy!

Me: What would you like me to do then? I said that I can make you new ones on the stock you prefer.

Customer: Yes! Order me new ones!

Bold Of You To Expect Customers To Read

, , , | Right | April 7, 2020

(I work in a copy shop. We have a self-serve computer that is mostly used for when people want to scan something and email it out. The scanning program is not the most user-friendly, and the instructions that the head office provided us are not very clear or helpful for people who don’t really understand computers.

Even people who are good with computers often have trouble following all the steps on the instruction label, so one slow day, I make my own and cover the old instructions with them. The new ones made by me have easy, numbered, step-by-step instructions with pictures, things circled in the pictures, and terms like “double click,” “click once,” and “computer screen” are used.

The one step that EVERYONE always missed with the old instructions I make sure to bold and word more simply in my version. I’m so proud of the beautiful instruction sheet and I’m sure anyone will be able to follow it.)

Coworker: “Yeah, your instructions didn’t work.”

Me: “What do you mean!? Someone was still confused by them?”

Coworker: “Yeah, they didn’t do [step everyone always misses].”

Me: “But I bolded it!”

(There’s also a picture with the step circled.)

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Self-Serve Is Not Self-Serving

, , , | Right | March 29, 2020

Customer: “I need to get some things printed.”

Me: “Okay. I’ll just take you to the computer down at the end there.” *points to the end of the counter and starts walking towards it*

Customer: “Can’t I just do it myself?!”

Me: “Oh. Sure you can, if that’s what you’d prefer.”

(I give him his USB back and direct him to the self-serve area. A couple of minutes later, the customer comes back over.)

Customer: *annoyed* “This isn’t going to work! Can’t you just do it for me?!”

Me: *pause* “Yes, that’s what I wanted to do in the first place!”

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Complaints For Pages And Pages

, , , | Right | March 25, 2020

(This happens only a month or two after I started working in the copy center of a well-known retail chain. The copy center is a little complicated to learn, so while I know a lot of the basics, there are a few nuances I haven’t quite mastered yet.)

Customer: “I need a copy of each of these papers.” *hands me a sheaf of legal documents*

Me: “Certainly, ma’am.”

(I go to make the copies and return with them, and she goes to the self-serve area to check them over before paying.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss! I’m missing some of my copies!”

Me: “Oh! I’m sorry, let me see…”

(At the time, I don’t know that the copy feeder is notorious for pulling through more than one sheet at once, and it’s best to count the original pages by hand and compare them to the total the copier prints. Sure enough, there is a page or two missing.)

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. I’ll run those off for you right away.”

(I do this, and again she goes to check my work. She comes back again, this time livid.)

Customer: “I’m missing some of my originals!”

Me: “W-what?”

Customer: “I just went through my originals and some are missing!”

(She makes me count through her originals. There are several packets of paper, all numbered with 1 of x, 2 of x, and so on. I notice that all of the missing pages are the last page in a packet)

Me: “Ma’am, are you sure that you had these…”

Customer: “Of course I did! I can’t believe you lost my originals! I do so much business here and you’ve lost important legal papers of mine! Call your manager this instant!”

Me: *about to cry* “Yes, ma’am.”

(My manager and I practically turn over the entire copy center, even pulling out the copiers to check behind and under them, but her papers are nowhere to be found.)

Customer: “I can’t believe this! I’m going to be late for my meeting! I’m never shopping here again!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, we’ll continue to look for your papers but—”

Customer: “Well, you haven’t heard the last of this! If I can’t find my papers I want that girl fired!” *glares at me and storms out*

Me: *still tearing up* “Um… [Manager]?”

Manager: “Yes?”

Me: “I, uh… I couldn’t really get a word in with her but… all the missing pages were the last pages of the documents they belonged to. I think they were just the blank pages that sometimes show up when you have an extra line in a word document. I don’t think she ever had them here.”

Manager: *pause* “Just count the pages first next time.”

(We never did hear back from that customer, so she must have come to the same conclusion I did.)

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