Will Moan Until You’re Black And Blue

, , , , , | Right | January 1, 2020

(I’m the supervisor in a copy center that’s part of a larger retail chain. Unlike some other similar copy centers from competing chains, ours does not have PCs available for public use. A man rushes up to the PC just as I step away from it, sits down, and begins browsing the Internet.)

Me: “Sir, did you need copies?”

(The customer ignores me.)

Me: “Maybe some color prints, or duplicates of something you already have…?”

(He shoves a stack of papers at me.)

Customer: “I need twenty copies of this.”

Me: “In color or black and white, sir?”

(The customer ignores me.)

Me: “Because if you want the blue sections to show up, I’ll have to make them in color.”

(He continues to ignore me, so I decide I’ll make black and white copies. I bring him the finished prints.)

Customer: “No! These are wrong! Useless! They’re garbage now! I want it to look like this!

(Since his original document was already a copy, the set I made is of noticeably poorer quality.)

Me: “Sir, any time you copy a copy, it’s going to—”

Customer: “When I print it from the computer, it doesn’t look like that!”

Me: “That’s because you were printing from a digital version. That’s always going to be a better print qual—”

(He interrupts me again to demand more copies, and ignores me any time I try to intervene. Several associates approach him and each time we’re ignored. The customer stays for a full two hours before I have had enough. I call the store manager over to assist me, since he has the authority to kick customers out of the store.)

Manager: “Listen, buddy. This PC isn’t for customer use. You’re preventing us from completing other customers’ orders and from doing work that needs doing around the store. I need you to wrap up what you’re doing here and leave.”

(There’s a heated argument about whether or not the customer is allowed to continue using the PC, and the store manager eventually convinces the customer to get up out of the chair and pay for his copies. Once everything is settled, the store manager goes back to his interrupted conference. The customer waits until the office door closes, and then approaches the PC again.)

Customer: *to me* “How long are you going to be using that computer? Because I have stuff to print.”

Me: *incredulous* “Sir, as the store manager just told you, this PC is not for customer use. Unless you have your documents print-ready and saved to a flash drive or CD, I can’t help you. Just because he’s not standing here, that doesn’t mean I can let you back on the PC.”

Customer: “Fine! I’m going somewhere else!”

(He collected his things and stormed out, but not before taking down the names of all the associates who were present for the episode.)

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Unfiltered Story #179091

, , | Unfiltered | December 5, 2019

(I am booking in a printing order of photos. When the customer answers my questions, she uses a tone that implies she thinks my questions were stupid)

Me: Do you want these on photo paper?

Customer: No! Just on regular paper!

Me: Ok, and what size would like you them?

Customer: I just want them on paper!

Me: Yes ok, but what size? (I hold up our order form) Would like you them this size?

Customer: NO! Half that size!

Me: Ok (She then shows me she also has a certificate to print, which is a different file type than the photos)

Me: And do you want the certificate full page?

Customer: NO! I want everything half page!

Me: Ok. So just so you’re aware, since there are an uneven amount of photos, and they are different files types than the certificate, the last photo and the certificate will be on their own pages.

Customer: That fine

(Later the customer comes to pick them up, so I show them to her before she takes them)

Customer: Well this looks like a waste!

Me: Why?

Customer: Because the certificate is on its own page!

Me: Yes, I told you it would be, and you said that was fine.

Customer: But it’s a half page. And so this is picture, and they’re not even on the same page

Me: Yes, I told you because they weren’t the same file types, I had to print them separately.

Customer: But I thought you would have printed them full page!

Me: But you told me you wanted them half page

Customer: But when you said they would be on their own pages, I assumed you would print them full page!

Me: Well you told me you wanted them half page, so that’s how I printed them. I can shred them and reprint them for you so they are full page

Customer: No I don’t want them full page! I wanted them half page! And you wasted paper!

Me: Um, I don’t know how you want me to fix this, then.

Customer: I just want the certificate! I want the certificate full page!

Me: Fine

(I reprinted the certificate and then she went to try and tell me she needed everything that way because she was old and couldn’t see. Yes. that makes sense.)

Last Name, Last Straw

, , , | Right | December 2, 2019

(I work in a copy shop.)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up my order.”

Me: “Okay, what’s the name it’s under?”

Customer: *gives their first name*

Me: “Sorry, what’s the last name?”

Customer: “I didn’t give my last name.”

Me: “Okay.” *looks in the filing cabinet and finds no order filed under her first name* “Sorry, it doesn’t look like it’s under that name. Is there a business name it might be under?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay. What’s your last name?”

Customer: “I didn’t give you my last name! It would only be under [First Name]!”

Me: “Okay, but unfortunately, it’s not under that name, and we almost always take a last name or a business name and file the orders that way. What’s your last name anyway? I’ll see if it’s filed under that name.”

Customer: “There’s no point in giving you my last name because I never told it to you when I came in!”

Me: “Can you just tell me your last name, anyway? Because it’s not under your first name and there’s no other way to find it.”

Customer: “No! It’s under [First Name]!”

(I have to go through EVERY single order form in EVERY single file folder in alphabetical order to try and find an order form with her first name on it. I finally find it near the end. I can’t remember but I think it starts with a T or something, because it was filed under her last name!)

Me: “Here it is. It was filed under your last name.”

(And the funny thing, after seeing her order form and last name, I remembered her immediately. I definitely asked for her last name when I booked the order in, and she told me how to spell it.)

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Liberated To Also Speak My Mind  

, , , , , | Right | November 21, 2019

(I’m busy typing up a document for one customer, while another one comes and sits at my desk. He is already being assisted by my coworker and just wanted to sit down. Both my coworker and I are female.)

Customer: “Wow, you have the easiest job in the world.”

Me: *chuckling* “Typing is easy, sure, but that’s not all I do. We have to know how to use all these machines, design logos and business cards, use a wide variety of software…”

Customer: “Well, it’s air-conditioned in here!”

Me: “Sure, but each of these copiers and the laminating machines have operating temperatures at or above 300°F. When they’re all working, we get pretty sweaty back here.”

Customer: *getting flustered* “Well, you’re the one who wanted to be a liberated woman and work for a living!”

(It’s pretty clear that this man has a poor view of women in the workplace. I decide not to let him get me worked up.)

Me: *cheerfully* “Yep! I certainly do want to work for a living. It’s nice having cash to pay the bills and I’m not afraid of a little hard work!”

Customer: *laughs scornfully, like he doesn’t believe what I’m saying*

Me: *continues typing the document I was working on*

Customer: “Well, what about your coworker, eh? She’s a cutie! Right? A little cutie!”

Me: “I’m afraid I’m probably not the best judge of that, sir.”

(The customer seemed offended that I wouldn’t join him in leering at my coworker, grunted, and left my desk. Thank goodness!)

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Unfiltered Story #177077

, , | Unfiltered | November 7, 2019

(It is a very busy day and everyone is at a cash register ringing out customers, and a coworker and I are both at the Copy Counter booking in orders. We are right next to each other at the counter and this exchange happens with my coworker and her customer)

Coworker: Would you like these within the hour, or did you want to come back later this evening?

Customer: Oh no, I need them right now.

Coworker: Well, unfortunately we don’t have time to do it right while you wait. I can do it in an hour, though.

Customer: What do you mean you don’t have time? I need them!

Coworker: Well we have to deal with other customers as well, and it’s easy for us to get pulled away from a copy job before we’re finished it. As you can see, it’s really busy in here, so I won’t get a chance to do it this second.

Customer: What about that girl? (pointing to me) Can she do it?

Coworker: …. no? She’s with a customer right now….