Professor Has The Privilege Of A Foot In Her Mouth

, , , , , , | | Learning | June 30, 2019

(The professor is talking about Black History. She brings up the point that no matter how much a white racist might say “black people are privileged,” they would never willingly switch places with the black person. Somewhere under their lies, they know that black people have it worse. The professor says that she, a white person, would never want to switch places with a black person because she knows how bad racism is. She asks if we would do the switch. No one raises their hand. Then, the professor completely jumps tracks to talk about fatphobia and how awful it is. She asks us the same kind of question: would anyone willingly gain 100 pounds? 200? One stick-thin girl raises her hand.)

Professor: “Why, [Student]?”

Student: “Because I want the weight. And to eat.”

Professor: “[Student], anorexia is a serious thing. It’s downright awful. But we have to deal with it, too. In fact, more fat people have eating disorders than skinny people. And we are encouraged to keep these eating disorders; you get help. People fall over themselves trying to get you the mental help you need. A fat person–“

(The girl starts full-on sobbing, in the mental-breakdown kind of way.)

Student: *between sobs* “I don’t… have… and they… they won’t… My stomach won’t let me eat. My intestines won’t let me digest. And the doctors… They say the same thing as you! They look at me and decide I’m anorexic before they even know me! They just tell me to eat more. They won’t help me… They just send me to therapy… and call me crazy… and no one will run the tests I need… They think if I just eat more, I’ll be fixed… I wish I was fat… so at least I’d have more to lose before I died…”

(The professor stopped saying stupid s*** after that.)

Not Rushing To Fall Into His Class

, , , , | | Learning | June 24, 2019

(I’m a junior in college, and I work at the bookstore. It’s the first week of classes, known as “fall rush,” and we are swamped. To help streamline this, we offer online ordering, where a student inputs their classes and we collect the books for them to pick up in store. There are three or four of us doing that, while everyone else is on the sales floor. Our store manager has told those of us who are working on these to direct questions from customers to someone else on the sales floor, so that we can focus on the task at hand. I’m working on one of these when I hear a throat clear behind me. There’s an older man glaring at me.)

Me: “Hello! What can I help you with?”

Man: “I’m Dr. [Man], and I teach [course I’ve never heard of]. Now, the textbooks for my class are usually right here. But they’re not here. Why is that? Where are my books?”

Me: “I’m really not sure, sir. But I can go grab our textbook manager and she can help you–”

Man: “No, I don’t want to talk to someone else. I want you to find my books now.”

(I see our textbook manager across the store, so I wave her over.)

Me: “Sir, I’m not familiar with your course or textbooks, but–”

Man: “You should be familiar with my course! It’s very important!”

Me: “Sir, I do apologize, but I’m running online orders right now. But our textbook manager–”

Man: “NO! You will help me!”

Textbook Manager: “No, sir, I will help you. Now, you said the book was for [Class]?”

Man: *huffs* “Millennials.” *glares at me* “I hope you never take one of my classes.”

Me: “Don’t worry; I won’t.”

Man: “EXCUSE ME?!”

Textbook Manager: “That’s it. Your course textbooks are over there.” *points* “Now, stop hassling my employees and leave.”

(The old man walks out, muttering to himself.)

Textbook Manager: “Why don’t you finish that order and go to lunch?”

Me: “Thank you!”

(I graduated from college several years ago, but that bookstore job is still my favorite!)

A Pointless Exercise

, , , , | | Learning | June 22, 2019

(I’m taking a masters-level teaching course the summer before I start my first teaching job. The professor instructs us to bring six stamped postcards to the next class.)

Professor: “I want everyone to write six encouraging messages to yourself for different times throughout the school year. Think of the challenges you’re going to face at specific times and write yourself a note of encouragement. Then, write the dates you’d like me to mail them on the postcards and I’ll send them to you throughout the year.”

(I thought this was lame, but nonetheless, I tried. I wrote encouraging messages to myself for the first day of school, after the first month of school, Christmas break, the end of the year, etc. In December, I received every postcard in the mail on the same day. She’d apparently just mailed them all at once.)

Ask Me Again And I’ll Tell You The Same

, , , , , , | | Learning | June 19, 2019

(I am working the textbook buyback at the end of the semester, which understandably makes the students grouchy when they get next to nothing for their expensive books. While I am sympathetic to their emotions, there are still regulations we have to follow when it comes to the condition of books we can accept. A customer approaches my counter, placing on the counter a textbook that has clearly been dropped in a puddle at some point. It is very obviously shriveled by water damage.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we won’t be able to take back this book.”

Customer: “Why? This was an expensive book!”

Me: “It’s got very obvious water damage. We’re not allowed to resell books to students if they’re in this kind of condition. I’m really sorry.”

Customer: “I’m not leaving without my money for this book.”

(At this moment the wholesale book representative, who helps during this time of year, sees the situation unfolding and steps in to help.)

Representative: “Ma’am, I overheard everything this employee said to you. They explained the university’s standards adequately when it comes to textbook condition.”

Customer: “I got it off the shelf like that!”

Representative: “While I personally don’t believe that, you have no way of proving it.”

Customer: “Here’s the receipt!”

Representative: “That just shows when you purchased the book at the beginning of the semester. And if you look at the bottom, it explains there the conditions on buying and reselling books in this store.”

Customer: “Wait, do you even work here? I’ve never seen you here before!”

Representative: “I’m a representative of the [Book Company], to help the student employees with any… difficulties that may arise during the buyback session.”

Customer: “I want to– No, I demand to talk to a manager who actually works here!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll go get the textbook manager.”

(I walk away from the counter, where the representative is still explaining the buyback conditions. I go into the office of the textbook department manager, where his desk is already stacked with books and paperwork. Apologizing for interrupting his backlog, I explain the situation. Sighing, he follows me back to the front of the store, where the customer and the representative are still arguing.)

Textbook Manager: “As my employee pointed out to you, and as the wholesale representative pointed out, we cannot take a book back in this condition.”

(To summarize, the customer goes on how she drove over 60 miles from her hometown to sell this book back to us. She tells us about some hardships in her life, which we feel sympathy for, but have no relevance to our refusing to take back a water-damaged book. She still insists she bought the book that way.)

Textbook Manager: “Is there anything else we can help you with?”

Customer: “I want to talk to your manager!”

Me: “I’m on it.”

(I make my way back to the bookstore manager, who not only oversees the textbook sales, but is also currently occupied by school apparel and memorabilia. Once again, I explain the situation. Groaning, he follows me up to the storefront.”

Bookstore Manager: “As my employee said, as the representative said, as my textbook manager said, and what I say is that our university policy prohibits us from accepting back a book in this poor of a condition. Plus, do you really think a student would buy something that’s like this?”

Customer: “I would!”

Bookstore Manager: “We refuse to take back this textbook.”

Customer: *some kind of noise*

Bookstore Manager: “No, ma’am, it’s non-negotiable. Now, unless there’s something else we can help you with, I’d like to ask you to leave the store.”

Customer: “I’m going to the president’s office to file a complaint against this store! You’re on notice!”

Bookstore Manager: “If that’s what you want to do, go ahead. Now, please leave the store.”

Customer: *more noise*

Bookstore Manager: “Ma’am, please don’t make me call university security to escort you out.”

Customer: “You know what? You can just f****** keep this book!”

(The customer tries to throw the textbook at us, but it falls onto the countertop and some pages fall out. Dumbfounded, we watch as the customer storms out of the store. She suddenly stops right outside the doors and turns around.)

Customer: “F*** you!”

(We never heard from the university president’s office. For the rest of my employment at the bookstore, this story would come up as an example for the new employees training for buyback. Apparently, even after I graduated, this was still a horror story the trainees would whisper to each other in the safety of the break room.)

Oh, That’s Not Water Breaking; That’s The Interns Crying

, , , , , | | Healthy | June 19, 2019

I studied medical laboratory science in college. As we were studying hormones, we came to hCG, which is the hormone tested for on a pregnancy test. The professor was explaining how, at the very end of a pregnancy, hCG levels can drop off, yielding a negative pregnancy test on an obviously pregnant patient.

Then, he added this gem: “You can really freak out nervous medical interns by calling them up and telling them the pregnancy test on a very pregnant woman is negative. I’m not saying I’ve done it, but I’m not saying I haven’t.”