Bullet Dodged!

, , , , , , , | Romantic | May 17, 2021

I was bullied in middle school for my grades and my looks. I was a very short, shy, overweight girl. I was eventually diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder that can cause delayed puberty and growth. Once I was put on meds to regulate the condition, I was much better. By the time I hit twenty-one, I look very different than I did as a teenager due to my hormones finally working properly.

One of the guys that used to bully me adds me on social media. I believe in second chances, so I add him. About two minutes later, I get a private message.

Guy: “Hey, what’s up?”

Me: “Studying for finals. You?”

Guy:  “Oh, nothing much.”

I go back to my exam review. A few minutes later, I get another message.

Guy: “D***, you grew up good. Real good.”

Me: “Um… thanks?”

Guy: “You were super awkward-looking in middle school. But I see that’s not a problem anymore.”

Me: “Not really sure what to say to that.”

Guy: “I’m complimenting you. Not used to that?”

Me: “It’s kinda backhanded, don’t you think? We were all awkward in middle school.”

Guy: “Geez, lighten up. I’m paying you a compliment. You should say thank you.”

Me: “Yeah, no.”

Guy: “Still uptight, nerdy, and b****y, I see.”

Me: “I’m deleting you now.”

Guy: “C’mon, give me a chance! I’m just having a bad day.”

Me: “Nope. Bye!”

He was still typing when I blocked him.

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My Precious Princesa Would Never!

, , , , | Learning | CREDIT: Fat_manXXL | May 17, 2021

I’m nineteen and in college. Last year, I started a language education career. My first language is Spanish, and even though I often make mistakes, I can understand and speak English. Then, I realized I wasn’t in the right place, so I dropped out during the first semester. Now, I’m studying theatre at another school; that has always been my true passion.

During my first semester in language education, we had to do tutoring as a part of our grade. I was doing tutoring for English speakers that struggled in their Spanish lessons. One of my “tutees” was an eighteen-year-old girl who never showed up, not even once, and never gave me a heads-up or explained afterward why she didn’t. I just reported with my teacher that she hadn’t appeared and then reached out to her to reschedule the date of our meeting and called it a day.

Nothing of interest happened until a few days ago. I receive a call from a number I don’t recognize, and as the dumb boy I am, I answer.

Me: “Hello, who’s this?”

Caller: “Are you [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, I am. What can I help you with?”

Caller: “It’s your fault that my daughter failed her exams.”

Me: “Excuse me? I don’t know what—”

Caller: “You tutored my daughter, and she didn’t learn anything from you! You sabotaged her and made her fail! I’ll report you to your teacher and make you fail, too.”

Me: “Sir, I dropped out last year.”

Caller: “That’s because of your incompetence! You have to pay me for wasting my time taking her to your classes!”

Me: “Sir, who’s your daughter?”


Me: “Listen. I need to know her name to give it to my ex-teacher, so he can tell you about my tutoring with her.”

Caller: “[Daughter].”

Me: “Sir, she didn’t show up once to—”


I guess he forgot I told him I dropped out.

Me: “Wait a moment.”

I check my cellphone for my teacher’s number and quickly give him a heads-up about what is happening.

Me: “It’s [number]. Anything e—”

He hung up on me.

A while later, my teacher told me about how rude the parent was with him. The parent said I was rude to him and that I lied, telling him his daughter never did tutoring with me, and he demanded that I fail this semester. The teacher explained that I dropped out and then sent him the empty reports of her tutoring, explaining to him that his daughter and I never met. After he sent the reports, the parent stayed silent for like twenty seconds and then hung up on him.

I guess I won’t be failing at the college I don’t attend anymore!

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A Pitiful Attempt To Be Understanding

, , , , , | Learning | May 14, 2021

I’m a college sophomore. I traveled abroad during the winter break. A couple of days into the new semester, I come down with a rather intense case of chickenpox. I never had it as a kid, so it knocks me out. I am basically stuck in bed with a head that feels like it’s going to explode and blisters everywhere, including inside my mouth and throat.

I call my department and fax them my doctor’s recommendation to stay away from the rest of humanity for a couple of weeks. They tell me not to worry; they will inform all my professors of my absence and I can make up any work as soon as I come back. I am incredibly grateful.

When I come back, I make sure to visit all my professors during office hours so I can catch up. All of them are incredibly gracious and helpful except my linguistics professor, who stands me up during his office hours.

Unable to find him anywhere, I go to his class. To my surprise, there is a test today. I very meekly go up to him and explain my situation.

Me: “I have been sick and absent for the past two weeks and had no idea there was a test. I don’t even know what material is covered on this test. The department assured me I could make up my absences as soon as I came back.”

The professor responds in the most condescending tone you can imagine.

Professor: “Oh, what a pity. Come to my office tomorrow and take the test.”

Me: “Professor, what material is being covered by the test?” 

Professor: “Oh. It’s chapter two and three.”

I go home, frantic, and spend all night devouring chapters two and three. I’m not a linguistics major, so this is not my cup of tea.

The next morning, I have barely slept, but I feel ready to at least pass the test. I walk to my professor’s office confidently. He hands me the test, and I sit down.

When I look at the paper in front of me, I recognize nothing. Absolutely nothing I studied is on this exam. I walk up to the professor.

Me: “Excuse me, sir. Is this the right test? The test you gave yesterday?”

Professor: “Oh, yes!”

Me: “I studied chapters two and three from the book, but they don’t have anything to do with what’s in the test.”

Professor: “Well, what I included in the test was all discussed in class and written on the board.”

Me: “But, sir, I was absent for two weeks due to illness, as I reminded you yesterday.”

He looks at me for a second.

Professor: “Oh, what a pity.”

He turned his glance away from me.

I went back to the desk, did what I could, and turned the test in, completely sure that I had failed. I had.

Knowing that I would probably fail the class, I decided to drop it and concentrate on catching up in the classes I know I could do well in. When I went back to my professor so he could sign the required form to allow me to do just that, he just looked at me and said, “Oh, what a pity,” as he signed.

I did retake the class and got a great grade. Linguistics is still not my cup of tea, but at least the second time around I got a professor that taught me more linguistics than “pity”.

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Look, Here Comes A Consequence, Consequence, Consequence

, , , , , | Romantic | May 11, 2021

When I was in college, we had a very attractive girl in our dorm who in today’s world would have been a social media star. Since things like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat didn’t exist back then, she would set up her personal video camera and record herself and then store the tapes for future viewing. She was extremely athletic and knew it, and thus she would often wear tight Spandex while filming herself.

One day, as she was recording herself, one of the guys in the dorm walked up to her and started trying to chat her up. She literally didn’t acknowledge his presence in any way, and that upset him. He reached out and grabbed her chest. Without missing a beat, she shoved his hand away. He then grabbed her butt, and she again shoved his hand away. He threw a punch at her, and she casually lifted her hand, grabbed his incoming fist, and shoved him to the side. He stomped off.

Two days later, it was revealed to us that the guy was “transferring,” effective immediately. Apparently, the girl had taken the recording to the dean and let her watch.

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The Language Barrier Isn’t Empfindlich

, , , , | Romantic | April 30, 2021

I majored in German in college and spent my junior year living in Germany. I was extremely socially inept back then. I made friends with this guy and he came to the dorm to hang out with me. He was a really big guy who looked a lot like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

We were sitting around and he took my hand.

Friend: “Your skin is very… empfindlich.”

Me: “What does ‘empfindlich’ mean?”

Friend: “It means… easily broken.”

I freaked out and never hung out with him again. Looking back at it, I realize that he had a crush on me and he was actually trying to be romantic. He meant my skin was “delicate.”

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