Spraining Credibility

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Learning | May 10, 2017

(I sprained my ankle this morning, but because I have a group project/presentation to do, and have the final copy of my group’s project, I have to get to school. So, I wrap my ankle and get to class. Upon getting to class, and sitting down across from the teacher with my group to present, this happens.)

Teacher: “How’s your morning going?”

Me: “Eh, I sprained my ankle.”

Teacher: “Oh, my god!”

(At this, she ducks her head under the table to look at my ankle, with the beige wrap that is clearly visible above my shoe.)

Teacher: “So you did!”

(Did you think I was lying or something? I was very confused by this need to “check” that I had sprained my ankle.)

Both Involve Bodily Growths That Need To Be Removed

| Athens, Greece | Friendly | May 10, 2017

(Some classmates and I are playing a drinking game. The rules are simple: two people sit back-to-back, while the rest makes statements (i.e. “I spend the most time getting ready,” “I’m the funniest,” etc.) They drink if they agree with statement. They get a point if only one of them drinks, but fail if both or neither of them do. Once they have three points in a row, two new people are selected. Two of my (female) classmates just got the statement “I have the most life experience,” and both of them drank.)

Classmate #1: “I have a kid!”

Classmate #2: “I’ve had cancer!”

(There’s a slight pause.)

Classmate #1: “Call it a draw?”

Classmate #2: “Works for me.”

That Class Is Bombing

| AZ, USA | Learning | May 8, 2017

(I am a political science major. It’s the first day of class and I am a senior. I walk into the class and just before class starts, a smelly, still partially drunk dude comes in and sits next to me — it’s typical and I’m in the back. Then class starts. The professor, an elderly man who can barely stand, begins to discuss what we will cover. It is how WWII and the Cold War shaped modern politics.)

Professor: “…and furthermore, the Japanese continue to be vilified by this entire country for their heroic charge to defend their country after the bombings at Nakasagi and Hiroshima when they launched brave soldiers willing to risk death to take out Pearl Harbor and show they weren’t defeated yet!”

(For a moment I sat stunned, but he continued on. He really believed what he was saying. Eventually the smelly guy and I exchanged glances, got up, and went to drop the class and register in something else. We never said a word to each other. Regardless of your opinion on the use of nuclear weapons, if you are so far gone into senility that you cannot recall the order in which major world events happened, then tenure isn’t doing any of the students who are paying for an education any good. It was very sad to see, but also pissed me off that it happened.)

Affection Never Left

, | ME, USA | Romantic | May 8, 2017

(My boyfriend is spending the night at my college dorm. I don’t have a roommate to keep us up, so we go to bed early. I can’t sleep, though.)

Me: “Babe, I love you, but I can’t sleep. I’m going across the hall to [Friend]’s until I’m tired.”

Boyfriend: *snore*

(I spend about an hour across the hall, and then return. When I open the door, he sits up, bleary-eyed.)

Boyfriend: *slurring* “Where’d ya go?”

Me: “I went across the hall for a while. But now I’m back.”

(I get back into bed and snuggle up with him. He sighs contentedly.)

Boyfriend: “Don’t leave me ever again.”

This Call Deserves An Honor-able Mention

| MN, USA | Learning | May 1, 2017

(I am a university administrator. My job includes managing the application process for the honors programs. Our students are not required to use their official email accounts. The subject line has the name of a scholarship.)

Student: “I need some info. Are you the right person to ask?”

(The student doesn’t sign his name, and the email address is nickname-at-freeemailprovider-dot-com, so I can’t look up whether he has already applied, whether he might be eligible, etc. I also can’t find a phone number. )

Me: “It depends on your question. I am the administrator, but different professors are in charge of the academic side, depending on your major. Let me know your question and I’ll make sure one of us gets back to you. Feel free to email or call me at [number].”

Student: “Can I call you or do I have to spell out my questions in an email?”

Me: “Either is fine. You can email, or call me. Or give me your number and I can call you.”

(Then, I receive a voice mail from an advisor:)

Advisor: “I was talking to student [Student], and he has a question about the honors program. Can you call him at NUMBER? He wouldn’t tell me the question, so I couldn’t help him at all. He says he has emailed you.”

(I call the student and leave a voice mail. Two minutes later, I get an email from the student:)

Student: “I just talked to Advisor who didn’t answer my questions. Can you call me at [number]?

(I call him and he answers.)

Student: “I have the application, but I need more specifics about what they are expecting.”

Me: “I can have the right professor call you. What is your major?”

Student: “I’m not sure, and I might change it.”

Me: “The expectations vary by major, so it would be best if you can figure that out first.”

Student: “I don’t understand what your job is if you can’t answer my questions. Just tell me how many words to write.”

(The conversation just ended up frustrating both of us. I ended up putting notes on his record and letting him know I am ready to help when he knows which honors program he’s applying for.)

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