Some People Just Aren’t Compatible

, , , , , | Romantic | April 30, 2020

I am thirty and I just decided to start going to college. Everyone else is between seventeen and nineteen. I come into class, go to my table, and start taking my stuff out of my bag. There are two guys sitting there talking.

Guy #1: “I don’t care what size she is as long as she likes [Popular Space Series]. Oh! And I’m not really into white chicks.”

Guy #2: “Yeah, I don’t like white girls, either.”

Then, they look at me and realize I’m there and happen to be white.

Guy #2: “No offense.”

Me: “Huh? Oh, it’s fine. I don’t like dating little kids.”

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Cursing Cursive

, , , , , | Learning | April 30, 2020

My son attended a school with a large foreign student body. This happened his freshman year early in the semester during a lecture. The student next to my son was Asian; this is important, or I wouldn’t call it out.

My son noticed he was looking back and forth between the whiteboard and my son’s notes. Finally, my son asked the guy what was going on. The guy said, “I can’t read what the professor is writing.”

The professor was writing in cursive. The guy had only learned Latin letters as block letters. Since my son was taking notes in block, he let the guy copy off him.

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We Are NOT Singing From The Same Reference Book

, , , | Right | April 29, 2020

I work in two university libraries: a big one that is open quite often and a smaller one that isn’t open as much. The smaller library is actually part of the bigger one but in another location in town. During winter break and exams, the smaller library is closed. If patrons need a book from that library, they can request it online and another colleague and I take the books to the bigger library. We only do it once a day, or twice if there’s a lot of requests.

I’m working the evening shift in the big library and I get a phone call around 6:00 pm.

Woman: “Are you still open?”

Me: “Yes, we close at 8:00 pm.”

Woman: “Oh, thank God. My son has an exam tomorrow morning and he absolutely needs one of your books for that exam!”

Me: “Okay, do you have the reference for the book so I can see if it’s available for your son when he comes?”

Woman: “Oh, he can’t come himself; he’s in [Other Town thirty minutes away] right now. I’ll come. And the book is [Reference].”

I realize that it’s a book from the smaller library. Since I’m working alone at the front desk I can’t go get it.

Me: “Unfortunately, this is a book from [Other Library], which is closed right now. Maybe your son can come get it tomorrow morning? I’ll take it to our bigger library as soon as I get to work tomorrow and your son can get it when the library opens at 8:00 am.”

Woman: “What? No, that’s too late; my son’s exam is at 8:00 am in [Other Town]. I’ll come get it in one hour, so you can go take it to the other library.”

Me: “Well, first of all, I have to ask, do you have a library card? If not, you’ll need to make one before you can take the book. And second of all, I can’t take it because I’m alone at the front desk and I can’t leave.”

Woman: “No, I don’t have a library card; I thought I would just use my son’s card. And if you can’t leave the desk, maybe I can go take the book, instead? Just give me the keys to the smaller library and then I’ll come to you with the book.”

I am shocked that she would even think I would be okay with giving her the keys.

Me: “Unfortunately, you can’t take books with your son’s card because cards are strictly personal. You would need to create one. And I really can’t give you the keys, sorry.”

Woman: “Stop being so difficult; this is for my son’s exam! He’s going to fail if he doesn’t have that book!”

Me: “You could look into [Other Town]’s libraries; maybe some of them are open before your son’s exam.”

Woman: “No, you’re the only library with that book! Look, how about I just come to the front desk and stay there while you go take the book?”

Me: “Um, sorry, but again, that won’t be possible. Have you tried [Bookshop #1] and [Bookshop #2], instead?”

Woman: “Yes, but it’s too expensive. But I guess that since you’re so difficult, I’ll have to buy it anyway!”

She then hung up, and I let out a big sigh. I am quite proud of myself for not getting rude. Because really, this is a university; her son is an adult and should be doing that kind of stuff himself, and earlier than the day before his exam!

Also, I tried to think of many alternatives to help her and she still called me difficult, seriously.

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This Would Have Been Even Weirder A Year Ago

, , , , , , | Learning | April 24, 2020

As our school is preparing to shut down for a disease outbreak, the administration is coordinating the transition to distance learning. These are extracts from emails sent ten minutes apart.

Email #1: “As we cannot guarantee access to any campus buildings, please be sure to bring any materials that you will require to continue working home.”

Email #2: “In response to the deluge of questions, the administration would like to ask all staff working in laboratories to please disregard our previous email.”

Email #3: “To further follow up, any objects of study that are not considered part of laboratory research but are too dangerous or physically large to be moved should remain on campus.”

Email #4: “In light of the continued questions, please disregard our previous guidance on working from home. We would now like you to use common sense when deciding what is appropriate to bring with you.”

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A Cardboard Box Under The Overpass Is Starting To Look Real Nice

, , , , | Friendly | April 23, 2020

I’m at the end of my first year of college, and I’m trying to figure out a living situation for the next year. Student housing is limited, so nearly all sophomores have to live off-campus. I find a friend of a friend, [Roommate #1], who needs another roommate for the coming year, and I agree verbally to move in with her and [Roommate #2] at the end of the summer. 

[Roommate #1] has a very minor disability. There are some reasonable accommodations that need to be made, but she also uses her disability as an excuse to get whatever she wants. The apartment has two bedrooms and two bathrooms, with one of the bathrooms attached to one of the bedrooms. [Roommate #1] tells me and [Roommate #2] that because of her disability, she will need a bedroom and bathroom to herself. She also decides that there’s no need for her to pay a higher portion of the rent, as the disability isn’t her fault. [Roommate #2] and I are first-time renters unfamiliar with how rent is divided, so we both agree to it.

Over the summer, [Roommate #1] and [Roommate #2] have a falling out. I only hear [Roommate #1]’s side, and it makes [Roommate #2] sound like the worst person in the world. [Roommate #2] moves out of the apartment.

Since neither of us can afford to pay half the rent of the apartment, [Roommate #1] and I start looking for another roommate. The search doesn’t go well. A few people I talk to seem willing at first, but as soon as they hear they’ll be living with [Roommate #1], they lose interest. Being young and naive, I don’t take this for the huge red flag it is.

I’ve started hanging out with [Roommate #1] so we can get to know each other before living together. The red flags keep piling up, but I keep ignoring them. One day, [Roommate #1] asks me to come to the apartment; she’s still living there with the roommates who are moving out at the end of the summer. I find her trying to hang a shower curtain across a corner of the living room.

Me: “Hey, [Roommate #1]. What are you doing?”

Roommate #1: “I’m trying to see if it’ll work. There’s something I want to talk to you about. I crunched the numbers, and it looks like I can’t afford a third of the rent. So, I was thinking we could look for two more roommates instead of one, to live in the second room together. Maybe people will be more interested that way, and it’ll be cheaper rent for all of us.”

Me: “Um, okay. I guess that works. But I thought you needed a room to yourself?”

Roommate #1: “Oh, yeah, of course. I’ll still be in the master bedroom by myself.”

Me: “Then… where am I supposed to sleep?”

[Roommate #1] gestures toward the shower curtain.

Me: “Hold on. You want me to sleep in a corner of the living room behind a shower curtain… to lower your rent?”

Roommate #1: “It’ll lower your rent, too!”

Me: “I’m not the one who needs that. If you want lower rent, then you sleep behind the shower curtain!”

[Roommate #1] launches into a long tirade about her disability. I have a family member with the same condition, so I know that a lot of what she’s saying is BS. There’s no medical reason why she can’t share a room; she just doesn’t want to.

Eventually, she mentions something about “the ad.”

Me: “Wait, what ad?”

Roommate #1: “Oh, since we weren’t having much luck on campus, I put out a [Website] ad. I’ve already got a few responses!”

I suddenly picture myself spending a year living with [Roommate #1] and two complete strangers while sleeping behind a shower curtain in a space barely big enough for a single bed, yet still paying the same rent as someone with a private room and bathroom. I finally reach a breaking point.

Me: “I’m sorry, but this isn’t working. I’ll find somewhere else for next year.”

Roommate #1: “No, you can’t! You agreed, so you’re legally required to pay rent for the whole year!”

Me: “No, I’m not. I never signed a lease.”

Roommate #1: “A verbal agreement is a contract!”

I left rather than get into an argument with her and quickly looked into whether I was on the hook for rent. I was not. And as luck would have it, I had an email in my inbox saying that my spot had come up on the student housing waiting list. I immediately accepted the offer.

But that was not the end. [Roommate #1] kept hounding me. She called and texted so often that I had to block her number, showed up at my current residence at all hours to yell and pound on the door, and even came to my place of work. Her harassment got so bad that I wouldn’t want to live with her even without the shower curtain and [Website] roommates.

At one point, while trying to get her to leave me alone, I claimed that my mother — who’d be paying a portion of my rent — forbade me from living with strangers off of the Internet. So, of course, [Roommate #1] found her contact information and started harassing her, as well. This only ended when I contacted the Dean.

Shortly after that, I received my student housing room assignment, along with the name of my roommate. By complete chance, it was [Roommate #2]. When we met to talk about what had happened, we found that [Roommate #1] had been bad-mouthing each of us to the other behind our backs. It turned out that we got along great, and we lived together for the next three years with no problems.

We never found out what [Roommate #1] did about her living situation, as she had been told to leave us alone or risk expulsion.

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