H2Slow, Part 4

| Blacksburg, VA, USA | Right | June 9, 2013

(A customer walks into store with a phone that’s not working. It’s raining outside.)

Customer: “Hey man, my phone stopped working. Can you get me a new one?”

Coworker: “Do you have insurance? The watermarks show that the phone has gotten wet.”

Customer: “No, I don’t, but I’ve never gotten my phone wet!”

Coworker: “Well, it clearly did at some point. Were you by any chance using it while it was raining?”

Customer: “Yeah, I was earlier, but that wouldn’t have done it, would it? Would rain get my phone wet?”

Coworker: “Is rain made out of water?”

Customer: “Ohh… right…”

Related:
H2Slow, Part 3
H2Slow, Part 2
H2Slow

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You Got The Wrongest Number, Part 7

| Mercer County, NJ, USA | Right | June 7, 2013

(I work for a franchise of a major cell phone company in the US.)

Customer: “I just had a woman call me on my cell phone. Can you look up her information and tell me her last name and address?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but unless you are listed on the account as an authorized user I cannot give away any personal information.”

Customer: “Well then, can you add me as an authorized user so I can see her address?”

Me: “No, sir, only the account holder can add or remove authorized users.”

Customer: “Well she called me and I want to find her; what can I do?”

Me: “Call her back?”

Customer: “I can’t do that; after she gave me her name she realized it was a wrong number and hung up!”

Me: “So let me get this straight, you want me to look up a customer’s number, add you as an authorized user, give you her name and address, and you don’t even know her?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Sir, you need to leave.”

Related:
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 6
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 5
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 4
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
You Got The Wrong(est) Number

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This Repair Had Better Be No Charge

| Houston, TX, USA | Working | April 17, 2013

(I had taken my phone in a week before because it would not charge. An employee, Employee #1, replaced the charge port. However, when I got home I discovered it still didn’t charge.)

Me: “Hey, I was in here almost a week ago to get my phone repaired. Thing is, it still won’t charge. I wasn’t able to get in before today but it’s within the seven day repair guarantee. Could you check this again?”

Employee #1: “You dropped it. Sorry, can’t fix it.”

Me: “Uh, no, I didn’t drop it. Could you please look at it and see why your repair isn’t working?”

Employee #1: “Don’t lie. You dropped it.”

(As Employee #1 turns away from me, Employee #2 arrives. They’re much more helpful.)

Employee #2: “Here, ma’am, let me see the phone.”

Me: *gives him my phone*

Employee #2: *to Employee #1* “Did you give her a new charger when you replaced the old port?”

Employee #1: “No, because she dropped the phone!”

(Employee #2 pulls a new charger out, checks it with the port, shows me my phone now charges successfully.)

Employee #2: *to Employee #1* “The old charger won’t work right with the new port, you d***.  You should always check. You’re such an a**!”

(Thankfully, Employee #2 waived off the charge for a repair.)

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Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 5

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | April 11, 2013

(I am helping a customer who’s having an issue with his iPhone’s touch screen.)

Me: “Okay, sir, what I’m going to try is a soft reboot. That usually fixes these issues.”

(Another customer, who has been standing behind me, suddenly turns around.)

Customer: “What? Ah h*** no! Let me have a look at that, ma’am.”

(He suddenly rips the phone out of my hands.)

Me: “Sir, please hand that back!”

Customer: “All you have to do is just take the battery out, like so…”

(He attempts to pry the casing off the back of the phone. Unfortunately on an iPhone, the battery cannot be removed that way, so he just ends up struggling fruitlessly with it for several seconds.)

Me: “Sir, please can I just try—”

Customer: “Butt out! Let’s see if this works…”

(He jabs frantically at the screen, violently shakes the phone, then finally throws it on the floor, breaking the screen.)

Customer: “Yeah, the d*** thing is FUBAR. You’re out of luck, buddy.”

(He walks out.)

Me: “Did that really just happen?”

(Mercifully, my original customer has insurance, so we are able to get him a replacement phone.)

Related:

Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 4

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The Signal Is Strong With This One

| UK | Right | March 18, 2013

Customer: “I’m looking for a Motorola Android phone.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t sell Motorola in this store. We do, however, have several different Android handsets you could take a look at.”

(The customer dutifully looks over several Android phones, before turning to the me. He looks serious.)

Customer: “These are not the ‘droids I’m looking for.”

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