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Their New Monthly A**hole Tax

, , , , | Right | October 30, 2022

There’s an evil woman who is good friends with my boss and always needs special treatment.

She comes in one day and starts talking to my coworker.

Customer: “I just got back from vacation and got my bill. I went over on my minutes, and I need a bigger plan.”

This plan is $40 more a month. My coworker is going to set her up on this plan, but I decide to try and help. If she was on vacation and used all her anytime minutes roaming, then she will only pay the overages once. She doesn’t have to pay more.

Me: *Casually* “Oh, where were you vacationing? If it’s one of the countries on our roaming list we can—”

Customer: *From zero to screaming* “If you interrupt me again, I will talk to [Boss] and have your a** fired.”

Okay. Pay more. F*** you.

And she did pay more.

Got The Green Light To Fix It

, , , , | Right | October 25, 2022

I am working at a local dealer for one of the province’s major cell phone providers. On top of selling cell phones, we also get a large number of people who come in because they have a problem with their phone they can’t solve themselves.

A customer comes in one day with one of these problems.

Customer: “I can’t use my camera. It’s all green.”

She gave me the phone and I opened the camera app. I saw that it was not a digital green. I turned the phone over and there was a green sticky note over the camera lens. I pulled it off and gave the phone back to the customer. She thanked me and laughed in disbelief as she walked out the door.

Chipping Away Into The Modern Electronic Age

, , , | Right | October 11, 2022

Back in the early 2000s, I had a summer job as a service representative for a phone tech company. Specifically, the company sold and serviced ISDN (Integrated Services Digital Network) telephones. My job was to fix phones that had been sent in, and if I couldn’t fix them, just take one that had already been fixed down from the shelves and send that out instead.

A man called the repair shop, having been searching desperately for someone who could fix an issue with his phone. Apparently, he had been given the run-around by all the salespeople who sold him this thing, making him more and more desperate for actual assistance.

At this time (in July), most people were on vacation, so it was even harder to find anyone who could help. There I was, a temp in my teens, alone in a repair shop, taking his call.

As he explained his problem to me, though, it did sound like a fairly simple fix; the issue he was experiencing should be fixed with a software update. The way to do that was to open up the phone, extract one chip from the circuit board, and put in a new pre-programmed one. I wasn’t quite sure about the next step, though, seeing as he lived in a city an hour’s drive away.

Me: “Would you like to send me the phone? Or maybe I can send you the chip you need if you’re able to fix it yourself?”

Customer: “No, I’ll be right down!” *Click*

Sure enough, an hour later, a car pulled up on the industrial estate. I went out to greet him and let him in (even though there was no customer reception area, just a warehouse). Once I got hold of his phone, I fixed his issue in about two minutes. It was as I thought: just open it up, extract the chip with a special tool, insert a new chip that we had ready on the shelves, test the phone, and screw it back together.

Customer: “How much do I owe you?”

Me: “Oh, nothing. That was so simple; I couldn’t charge anything for that. Plus, you drove all the way down here.”

The man insisted and left me some cash anyway. He then departed, ecstatic that he’d finally found someone who’d been able to help.

I learned a lot about customer service in that job — to be polite, helpful, and patient. Whether the customer is an ignoramus, unlucky, or just plain desperate, there’s always some way to help them. When you’re in the service sector, that’s the job.

Must Have Traded In His Brain

, , , , | Right | October 10, 2022

I work at a dealership for one of the major cell phone service providers in the province. About an hour before closing, a customer comes in.

Me: “Hello there. What can I do for you tonight?”

Customer: “I want to trade in my phone for the newest iPhone.”

Me: “Of course.”

We go over all the pricing and everything he needs to know. He gets the iPhone he wants with all the accessories he needs for it. It is all paid for with the trade-in discount applied to the order. All his contacts, photos, and other information have been transferred to the new phone.

An hour has passed, which takes us just past closing. We go through and sign the contract. We are almost finished.

I put all of the customer’s things into a bag and am about to factory reset the old device.

Customer: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m going to factory reset the phone.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Since it’s no longer your phone, I have to wipe it for privacy concerns.”

Customer: “Wait. I don’t get to keep the phone?”

Me: *Thinking he can’t be serious* “No? You traded it in.”

Customer: “No. I still want to keep my old phone.”

Me: “…”

I cancelled the original order, refunded his money, and then redid everything without the trade-in promo.

By the time I was finished with that, he was out of my hair, and I finished closing the store, it was over an hour past closing. Overtime can be nice, but for me, it’s not because of dealing with stupidity. What did he think “trade-in” meant?!

Not So Smart-Phone, Part 46

, , , , , , | Right | September 27, 2022

Customer: “I’d like to return this phone. I was told that as long as I have my receipt and it’s within the thirty-day return window, I can return it.”

Me: “Yes, your receipt does appear to be in order; today is the thirtieth day. Can I see the phone?”

I start to take the phone out of its box and the customer physically winces. What comes out of the box… used to be a phone. Now, it looks like the result of a horrific Star Trek transporter accident.

Me: “What happened?”

Customer: “Well, the phone fell from the tenth-floor balcony.”

Me: “Okay, so high-drop damage. But it’s also melted?”

Customer: “Well, when it fell, it fell into a lake.”

Me: “So, water damage. It still looks melted.”

Customer: “Well, I tried to dry it, but it was going too slowly, and I knew I had to return it today to be within the thirty-day warranty… so I put it in the oven to dry it out.”

Me: “I… see?”

Customer: “So, can I get the return?”

Me: “Ma’am, this phone is not in a sellable condition. The return warranty only covers manufacturer defects.”

Customer: “But I have a receipt!”

Me: “And you also admitted that this phone has fallen from a tall height, has received water damage, and has been roasted in an oven. At this point, it would be easier to ask what hasn’t happened to the phone.”

Customer: “But I have a receipt!”

Me: “Ma’am, your phone looks like it’s been in a microwave. I can’t accept this return.”

Customer: “It was only in the microwave for a few seconds!”

Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 45
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 44
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 43
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 42
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 41