I manage a cell phone store. It’s not uncommon for customers to come ask us to print out a copy of their receipts; they might need it for an insurance claim, sell it to someone, or what have you. A lady steps up to my register.

Lady: “My workplace is covering the cost of my cell phone purchase, up to 8,000 NOK (approx. $800), so I need a receipt to show them.”

Me: “I’m happy to help you find that. May I look at your cell phone? I could use its serial number to look up the receipt.”

Lady: “Oh, I didn’t actually buy a phone here, I just need a receipt for 8,000 NOK.”

Me: *Not understanding.* “I’m sorry, I can’t find it if you didn’t buy the phone here.”

Lady: “No, I just need a receipt for 8,000 NOK, so that my job will give me that money.”

Me: “But I don’t have a receipt for that?”

Lady: *Annoyed.* “Just make me one!”

Me: “You want me to make a fake receipt for 8,000 NOK?”

Lady: “Yes, of course!”

Me: “I won’t do that! I’m not helping you commit fraud!”

Lady: *Offended.* “What? How dare you? That’s not fraud! I just want them to give me the extra money!”

Me: “Yeah, good luck with that. Next, please!”

I worked at a cell phone company over a summer while in college. We had a few large TVs that displayed our stuff. A younger guy, probably eighteen or nineteen, not a customer of ours, came in and asked if he could use the WiFi.

I said sure, and he sat down for a few minutes, then said he’d “be right back.” He came back with pizza and some drinks and sat back down.

I saw he was watching something on his phone and asked him what it was. He said he was watching the E3 press conferences, starting today (This was back when E3 (Electronic Entertainment Expo) was still a thing).

I remember our display TV had that screen mirror stuff. I asked him to pop it on the TV, and I’ll turn it up.

It was a slow day, so I mostly spent it with this guy, watching E3, and having pizza. A few customers came in, I’d help them, not try to upsell them, and just watch E3.

The dude was freaking awesome; he came back the next few days for each press conference and brought pizza.

A few weeks later, he came in and wanted to buy a screen protector for his phone. Ever bought a screen protector from a cell phone store? It can get expensive.

I could give up to 20% discounts, but I felt like giving him more. I have a habit of remembering SKU numbers, so I typed in the SKU for SIM cards. They did give us the power to change SIM cards for just one cent, and we always had pennies lying around. It was mostly to give SIM cards to customers who needed them, and we didn’t want to charge extra.

So basically, I gave that guy a free screen protector. Was a nice thing to do before going back to college for my final year.

I worked in a cell phone store in the days before smartphones.

Customer: “I want to transfer the information from my old phone to my new one.”

Me: “I can help you with that. Is that phone the old one or the new one?”

Customer: “The new one. The old one fell off the Golden Gate Bridge.”

I pause and process.

Me: “Sir, I would need the old phone to be able to do that for you.”

Customer: “But I heard phones connect to the internet now! Can’t you… just, aim a satellite and transfer the data?”

Me: “No, sir, it doesn’t work like that.”

Customer: “What if I remembered exactly where I was on the bridge when I dropped it?”

Me: “Sir… you’re not understanding what the barrier is here.”

Over two decades later, and now we have cloud computing, but I hope it doesn’t give that customer an excuse to be losing phones off bridges.

I worked at a cell phone provider. I worked in the call center and took calls from individual customers, as well as employees of companies who would purchase our phones in bulk. This caller is the latter.

Caller: *Angry.* “My work phone has no screen and no buttons! How the h*** are you expecting me to make calls on this thing?!”

Me: “No screen and no buttons? That’s odd. Can you read the make and model from the box it came in?”

Caller: *Shouts the model number.*

Me: “Sir, that’s a flip phone.”

Caller: “What the h*** is a flip phone?!”

This is still relatively early in the days of cell phones, so I’m guessing he’d never seen one before.

Me: “It’s a phone that… uh… flips open?”

Caller: “You’re not making any sense!”

Me: “Okay, sir, put your finger in the crack at the bottom of the phone and… push up.”

There’s a pause, a gasp, a cuss, and a click.

I’m selling a guy a phone at the wireless carrier where I used to work. I spent an hour getting all his information transferred and setting up his new phone. He does not buy any kind of warranty for it.

He comes in the next day with a shattered screen.

Customer: “You need to replace this!”

Me: “Sir, you don’t have a warranty. After the phone leaves the store, it’s your responsibility.”

Customer: “This is how it looked when I left the store!”

Me: “Sir, I was the one who sold you your phone. It did not leave the store like that.”

The customer is about to rant again, but stops and looks at me. The realization that I was the same guy from yesterday hits him.

Me: “Sir, even if you got a different person today, how could you possibly have expected this to work? Why would you leave the store with a shattered phone?”

He did not get his replacement.