Back in the early 2000s, I had a summer job as a service representative for a phone tech company. Specifically, the company sold and serviced ISDN (Integrated Services Digital Network) telephones. My job was to fix phones that had been sent in, and if I couldn’t fix them, just take one that had already been fixed down from the shelves and send that out instead.

A man called the repair shop, having been searching desperately for someone who could fix an issue with his phone. Apparently, he had been given the run-around by all the salespeople who sold him this thing, making him more and more desperate for actual assistance.

At this time (in July), most people were on vacation, so it was even harder to find anyone who could help. There I was, a temp in my teens, alone in a repair shop, taking his call.

As he explained his problem to me, though, it did sound like a fairly simple fix; the issue he was experiencing should be fixed with a software update. The way to do that was to open up the phone, extract one chip from the circuit board, and put in a new pre-programmed one. I wasn’t quite sure about the next step, though, seeing as he lived in a city an hour’s drive away.

Me: “Would you like to send me the phone? Or maybe I can send you the chip you need if you’re able to fix it yourself?”

Customer: “No, I’ll be right down!” *Click*

Sure enough, an hour later, a car pulled up on the industrial estate. I went out to greet him and let him in (even though there was no customer reception area, just a warehouse). Once I got hold of his phone, I fixed his issue in about two minutes. It was as I thought: just open it up, extract the chip with a special tool, insert a new chip that we had ready on the shelves, test the phone, and screw it back together.

Customer: “How much do I owe you?”

Me: “Oh, nothing. That was so simple; I couldn’t charge anything for that. Plus, you drove all the way down here.”

The man insisted and left me some cash anyway. He then departed, ecstatic that he’d finally found someone who’d been able to help.

I learned a lot about customer service in that job — to be polite, helpful, and patient. Whether the customer is an ignoramus, unlucky, or just plain desperate, there’s always some way to help them. When you’re in the service sector, that’s the job.

I work at a dealership for one of the major cell phone service providers in the province. About an hour before closing, a customer comes in.

Me: “Hello there. What can I do for you tonight?”

Customer: “I want to trade in my phone for the newest iPhone.”

Me: “Of course.”

We go over all the pricing and everything he needs to know. He gets the iPhone he wants with all the accessories he needs for it. It is all paid for with the trade-in discount applied to the order. All his contacts, photos, and other information have been transferred to the new phone.

An hour has passed, which takes us just past closing. We go through and sign the contract. We are almost finished.

I put all of the customer’s things into a bag and am about to factory reset the old device.

Customer: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m going to factory reset the phone.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Since it’s no longer your phone, I have to wipe it for privacy concerns.”

Customer: “Wait. I don’t get to keep the phone?”

Me: *Thinking he can’t be serious* “No? You traded it in.”

Customer: “No. I still want to keep my old phone.”

Me: “…”

I cancelled the original order, refunded his money, and then redid everything without the trade-in promo.

By the time I was finished with that, he was out of my hair, and I finished closing the store, it was over an hour past closing. Overtime can be nice, but for me, it’s not because of dealing with stupidity. What did he think “trade-in” meant?!

Customer: “I’d like to return this phone. I was told that as long as I have my receipt and it’s within the thirty-day return window, I can return it.”

Me: “Yes, your receipt does appear to be in order; today is the thirtieth day. Can I see the phone?”

I start to take the phone out of its box and the customer physically winces. What comes out of the box… used to be a phone. Now, it looks like the result of a horrific Star Trek transporter accident.

Me: “What happened?”

Customer: “Well, the phone fell from the tenth-floor balcony.”

Me: “Okay, so high-drop damage. But it’s also melted?”

Customer: “Well, when it fell, it fell into a lake.”

Me: “So, water damage. It still looks melted.”

Customer: “Well, I tried to dry it, but it was going too slowly, and I knew I had to return it today to be within the thirty-day warranty… so I put it in the oven to dry it out.”

Me: “I… see?”

Customer: “So, can I get the return?”

Me: “Ma’am, this phone is not in a sellable condition. The return warranty only covers manufacturer defects.”

Customer: “But I have a receipt!”

Me: “And you also admitted that this phone has fallen from a tall height, has received water damage, and has been roasted in an oven. At this point, it would be easier to ask what hasn’t happened to the phone.”

Customer: “But I have a receipt!”

Me: “Ma’am, your phone looks like it’s been in a microwave. I can’t accept this return.”

Customer: “It was only in the microwave for a few seconds!”

Related:
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 45
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 44
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 43
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 42
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 41

Our anniversary is coming up, and I decided to upgrade my husband’s and my cell phones, since our contract is up. We headed to the local store for our carrier to pick out new phones and get assistance migrating our data over. The last time we were there, the staff was super helpful. 

We went in and the lady at the front door huffed at us. 

Lady: “Yeah, just so you know, there’s a forty-five-minute wait for assistance.” 

We looked around. There were three salespeople in the store and there was only one other customer. 

Me: “Oh, that’s okay. We’re just going to look around for a bit.” 

Lady: “Fine.” 

My husband and I looked at the available phones and settled on the phones we wanted. We came back to the lady to get in the queue, sure that we’d be seen right away because we were literally the only customers in the store at that point. 

Me: “Okay, we’d like to upgrade our phones.” 

Lady: “Still going to be a forty-five-minute wait. I’ll put you in the queue.” 

Me: “Okay, we’re going to get some breakfast while we wait. We’ll be back.” 

Lady: “Well, if you’re not here when we call you up, you’ll have to be put back in the queue.” 

Wow, how rude! But we decided to still purchase from the store because we wanted to use the three-day weekend learning the ins and outs of the new phones and migrating everything over. 

Luckily, the guy that helped us when we came back was super-nice and we thought we were going to get some service. Until… 

Nice Guy: “Unfortunately… we don’t have any of that phone in stock. But I went ahead and ordered them for you. They’ll arrive Wednesday at your home! That will be $70 for the upgrade fee.” 

Me: “Um… if you were just going to order them online, why did we need to come out to the store and wait forty-five minutes? I could have done all this at home.” 

The nice guy was super apologetic and admitted he should have checked their inventory before doing anything else. We still proceeded with the sale, but in retrospect, should have walked out and denied them their commission.

It is back in the early days of cellular phones: brick phones, Motorola flip phones, etc. A customer comes in complaining.

Customer: “My phone won’t power on!”

We have our technician take a look at it. (Yes, we actually have techs who open up and fix phones). He comes back saying that it has extensive water damage.

Me: “Ma’am, water damage isn’t repairable, and it also voids any warranty.”

Customer: “I never got it wet! Get me a new phone!”

I show her the insides of her phone, which are actually rusty, and she still insists that it never got wet. We start going through possible ways her phone got wet, including excessive sweating, sudden downpours, and accidentally dropping it in water.

Customer: “I swear on my life that phone was never exposed to water! I always took care of it. I even took the time to clean it by putting it in the top rack of my dishwasher, never on the bottom!”

Related:
H2-Oh-No No No No No!