No Signal Getting To His Brain

, | WI, USA | Right | August 7, 2014

Me: “Hello. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “My ‘wifis’ are all locked.”

Me: “Okay… let me see what you mean here.”

(The customer pulls out their [Smartphone] and shows that there are lock symbols on all of the wifi networks openly broadcasting in the area.)

Me: “Yes, these lock symbols mean that you have to login to the wifi network with a password.”

Customer: “Password? What password? Wifis need a password? I’ve never used a password.”

Me: “Does your home wifi not have a password?”

Customer: “Which one is my home wifi?”

Me: “Well, none of these. We have a wifi access point here in the store…”

(I demonstrate to the customer how to log onto a wifi using the store’s own broadcasting wireless network.)

Me: “But your home wifi will only be at your house. Not here. Do you know what your home wifi network is called?”

Customer: “Why can’t I use any of these other ones?”

Me: “These are just local wifi spots that are locked, with passwords, by their owners to keep people from freely using them.”

Customer: “But wifi is supposed to be free, and I was told that I would have access to wifi with my new device.”

Me: “Well, wifi isn’t always free. In places like Starbucks or McDonalds you’ll have free wifi that they pay for, but typical home networks, and even your 4G or 3G networks aren’t technically free. So, what you’ll have to do is go to your house, figure out what your home wifi is called, login to it by finding it on this list in your phone, and enter in the password if you have one.”

Customer: “So… what’s my wifi password, then? I don’t think I have one.”

Me: “I couldn’t tell you. That would be something you or you Internet provider would know.”

Customer: “My provider is you guys.”

Me: “Your home Internet provider.”

Customer: “See, I don’t understand. Wifis are free, so why? When I use my wife’s laptop, I just go to the Internet. There’s no passwords for the Internet. Where would I need to use a password for FREE wifi?”

Me: “Well, unless you’re stealing someone else’s unsecured wifi, you would have to have a network that you yourself are broadcasting, paying for, and connecting to that would either have or not have a wifi password involved. But again, I’m sorry, I wouldn’t be able to tell you that information. Your home cable or Internet provider would be responsible.”

Customer: “So do I have wifi or not?”

Me: “No. No, you don’t. Not if you don’t know what it is.”

Customer: “Why isn’t there some technical thing? You know I’m not good with this computer stuff, but I wish there was some technical thing that would just tell you what the password is. Everyone gets free wifi, but I’m the one with all the problems. I think it’s the phone.”

Me: “No, it’s not. Could you check on your home wifi for me and let me know what provider you have? I think I could get a pretty good idea of the problem with that information at least.”

Customer: “Okay. Yeah, I can do that. I’ll check with the wife. She’s better at this stuff.”

(I can now officially retire from customer service.)

1 Thumbs
1,237
VOTES

I’ll Have The Package She’s Having

| Mississauga, ON, Canada | Working | April 2, 2014

(I am shopping around for a new phone and am chatting to an employee regarding new providers. The provider she is trying to convince me to switch to is called ‘Virgin Mobile.’)

Employee: “So have you heard about all the perks you get?”

Me: “Enlighten me.”

Employee: “Well, as a Virgin, you get more music, more deals, and even discounts at stores!”

Me: *snickering already* “Really now?”

Employee: “Yeah, I’m a Virgin, too. Why wouldn’t I? So many benefits!”

Me: “So I guess you’re screwed if you’re not a Virgin…”

Employee: “You’re definitely screwed if you’re not a Virgin!”

(A customer walks by.)

Customer: “D*** straight you get screwed if you’re not a virgin. That’s the whole point!”

(The employee then realizes what she’s been saying and blushes redder than a tomato,)

Employee: “God, that’s the third time this month I’ve said that…”

 

1 Thumbs
1,456
VOTES

Take Note And Buy A Pen

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | Right | February 6, 2014

(I answer the phone.)

Me: “[Store]. Hello?”

Customer: “Hi.I need the number for [Company] support.”

Me: “Okay, do you have a pen ready?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, here’s the number. [Number].”

Customer: “Could you repeat that?”

Me: “Sure.” *repeats number*

Customer: “D***. One more time, please?”

Me: *repeats number*

Customer: “D*** it!”

Me: “Can you not hear me or something?”

Customer: “I can hear you. I just don’t have a pen and paper. I was trying to memorize the number.”

1 Thumbs
1,124
VOTES

Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 6

| Germany | Working | December 14, 2013

(My two-month-old phone has suddenly and permanently frozen. As it’s still under warranty, I go to the store to replace it.)

Me: “Hello. My phone is broken.”

Employee: “Oh, dear. It is. Well, because it’s still under warranty, we’ll order a new one for you and notify you when it arrives in the shop.”

Me: “Really? That’s great. Thank you.”

(I fill out the forms and take my old broken phone home with me. About a month passes and I haven’t received a single letter or e-mail from the phone shop. I take an extra long break from work and run over there.)

Me: “Hi, sorry. I’m here about a replacement phone? Mine isn’t working, and hasn’t been working for a while.”

Employee: “Did you fill out the forms?”

Me: “I have them all here, along with my old phone.”

Employee: “Oh, this. Your phone came in about three weeks ago.”

Me: “Three weeks?! Why didn’t you notify me?”

Employee: “We did. We sent you a text message.”

Me: “…wait, what?”

Employee: “We texted you several times that your phone had arrived.”

Me: “You texted me? But my phone’s broken!”

Employee: “We sent you notification. I don’t understand why it took you so long—”

Me: “Ma’am, my phone is broken. How am I supposed to receive, let alone read a text message?! I can’t use my phone! That’s why I’m getting a new one! How was I supposed to know it had arrived?!”

(The employee pauses, thinks about it, then gives a huge shrug.)

Employee: “We sent you a message. You should have come sooner.”

 

1 Thumbs
1,375
VOTES

Phoned In Bad Customers

| Pensacola, FL, USA | Right | October 25, 2013

(My phone is old and has stopped working, so I’ve taken it in to get it replaced. The clerk and I have had to switch registers twice now because of a malfunction. I find it amusing and he keeps thanking me for being patient.)

Clerk: “I’m sorry about how long this is taking.”

Me: “It’s no problem. I work with computers every day. I know how finicky they can be.”

Clerk: “You would be surprised at how mean people can get.”

(I am about to tell him I know because I worked retail to get through college. As if on cue, a customer storms into the store and begins yelling.)

Customer: “Where are your mice?! [Other Store] sent me over here because all they have are Chinese mice, and I want a good mouse!”

Assistant Manager: “Sir, this is [cell store]. We don’t sell mice.”

Customer: “The b**** at [Other Store] said this store had them! Where is [Office Supply Store]?!”

Assistant Manager: “I don’t know, sir. I’m only a temporary employee here. I don’t live in this area. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “D*** right you are!”

(I am fed up, and attempt to keep this customer from berating the employees more.)

Me: “The [Office Supply Store] is just down this road next to another [Cellphone Store].”

(I proceed to give the customer directions, and he leaves in a huff without a thank you. Another customer chimes in shortly after he leaves.)

Customer #2: “Now everyone, turn to the person next to you and thank the good Lord that they aren’t like that man.”

(The store erupts in laughter. The clerk goes back over my account and found a bunch of discounts for me!)

1 Thumbs
2,197
VOTES
Page 7/17First...56789...Last
« Previous
Next »