Our Service Plan For Life And Death

| UK | Working | October 23, 2015

(I’m the staff member, and the idiot in this story. I am serving a very elderly couple (at least in their 90s) who are both very sweet and understand and appreciate how patient I am with their questions, as technology is not their strong suit. They begin to say their goodbyes.)

Customers: “Thank you very much, young lady; your customer service was brilliant.”

Me: “You’re welcome. Come back anytime with any questions. My name is [My Name] and I’ll always be happy to help.”

Customers: “We definitely will!”

Me: “Okay, guys; enjoy the rest of your days!”

(The look I received made me want to sink into the earth and die! I was so embarrassed! One slip of the tongue and I sounded like Lucifer announcing their deaths! I have yet to see them return.)

No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 7

| Southampton, England, UK | Right | December 4, 2014

(The shop is just about to close for the day when a customer comes in with a very minor issue, and while I am sorting the problem my colleague has closed the doors. The fix doesn’t take long, and I have just escorted the customer to the door to let him out when he appears to remember a separate issue:)

Customer: “Oh, yes, while I’m here I was wondering if you could take a look at this weird line that keeps showing up when I use my maps app. Now, where was it..?”

(He zooms right out on the maps so the whole world map is virtually visible.)

Customer: “Here we are, you see? Straight through Africa there”

Me: “Uh.. That’s the equator, sir. There’s not much I or anyone else can do about that, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “Well, it definitely wasn’t there before.”

Me: “I think it probably was…”

Covered For The Next 20 Years

| Alexandria, VA, USA | Right | November 10, 2014

Employee: “How can I help you, sir?”

Me: “I just bought this phone yesterday and I can’t hear anyone who calls me. They sound muffled and tinny.”

Employee: “Ah, I know what your problem is.”

(I haven’t even shown him my phone yet, so I assume he’s going to give me some smart-a** presumptuous answer.)

Employee: “Did you leave the plastic cover on the screen that ships with the phone?”

Me: “Well, yeah, at least until I buy a good screen protector.”

Employee: “…”

Me: “Oh. It covers the speaker, too, doesn’t it? That’s rather embarrassing.”

Employee: “Don’t worry; you’re not the first to come in here with that problem.”

Me: “Oh, good, that makes me feel better.”

Employee: “But you are the youngest by about 20 years.”

1 Thumbs
2,067
VOTES

Remotely Stupid

, | Canada | Right | October 10, 2014

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cellphone Carrier]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi! I would like to update my cellphone.”

Me: “Sure! I can help you. I see you have an iPhone. Can you please go into your settings?”

Customer: “Oh! Do I have to do it? I thought you had to press a button from your computer and work your magic.”

Taxing Faxing, Part 14

, | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Right | October 9, 2014

(Customers will call to purchase service contracts for their mobile phones.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, but after your credit check, I am afraid that you will have to pay a deposit.”

Customer: “How?”

Me: “We can take payment usually over the phone. Or there is also a payment form that can be downloaded, printed, and either faxed or mailed to us.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll fax it!”

(The customer ended up faxing cash. That’s right, cash. He FAXED us four $100 bills! And then just couldn’t understand when we told him it wasn’t a valid method of payment…)

 

Page 6/18First...45678...Last