The Final Unpedicured Nail In The Coffin

, , , , , | Right | December 7, 2018

(A wealthy-looking, middle-aged woman comes into the nail salon while I’m waiting for my appointment.)

Customer: “Hello. I’m here for my one o’clock appointment with [Nail Tech].”

Receptionist: “Okay, if I could just get your name, please?”

Customer: “It’s [Customer].”

Receptionist: “Oh, no, it looks like you’re late for your appointment.”

Customer: *laughs, thinking the receptionist is joking* “I know it’s 1:10 right now, but you know how it can just get so busy!”

Receptionist: “No, I mean your appointment was booked for noon.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t. I know for a fact that it was one o’clock.”

Manager: *takes over* “Ma’am, it’s written right here as being booked for 12:00 pm.”

Customer: “No, look.” *pulls out smartphone* “I have it written down here as… Oh. Oh, well. I guess the appointment was for noon. But I still need [Nail Tech] to do my mani-pedi now.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m very sorry but [Nail Tech] is booked up all day. However, we can have another employee help you at this time.”

Customer: “No, that won’t do. I must have [Nail Tech]. Anyone else is a waste of my time and money!”

Manager: “Well, we can book a new appointment with [Nail Tech] for another day.”

Customer: “No. I have a party tonight and I need my nails done before then! Can’t you just… give me someone else’s appointment with [Nail Tech], and schedule them with someone else?”

Manager: *starting to get impatient* “No, ma’am, we can’t do that.”

Customer: “You should have called me, then! I live only a couple blocks away! If you’d have called me when I missed my appointment, then I would have been here on time!”

Manager: “Well, we would have called you, ma’am, but you never gave us your phone number.”

Customer: “Well, I never! I guess I just won’t have my nails done for my dinner, then! I hope you feel bad about this!” *storms off in a huff*

This Salon Has Very Bad Reception

, , , , | Working | October 21, 2018

(I am a client at a very busy hair salon. They never take walk-ins and usually there is a four- to six-week wait for appointments. Since they are amazing at their narrow specialty — and the only ones around in this particular specialty — I am always willing to wait for an appointment. They have just hired a new receptionist, and she knows none of the clients.)

Receptionist: “Hi, welcome to [Salon]. You’re [Other Client], right?”

Me: “No, I’m—”

Receptionist: “Sorry, we don’t take walk-ins. I can schedule you for sometime next month.”

Me: “I don’t need an appointment. I just need—”

Receptionist: “Look. We aren’t like those cheap places where you just walk in, sit down, and wait. We are professional specialists and—”

(The salon owner notices what she’s saying and rushes to the front.)

Owner: “Stop! That’s not how we speak to clients.”

Receptionist: “But she doesn’t have an appointment!”

Owner: “So, we ask why she’s here.” *turns to me* “Sorry, [My Name]. She’s new, and I guess the training isn’t going as well as I thought. What’s up?”

Me: “I was just stopping to buy some shampoo and some travel sizes before my trip.”

(The owner apologizes to the client she has in the chair and personally rings up my purchases. All the while, the receptionist is fuming and muttering under her breath about needing an appointment. A month later I come back for an appointment and there’s no receptionist.)

Me: “What happened to the new receptionist?”

Owner: “I had to let her go. I found out you weren’t the first person she yelled at about appointments. She sent two other people away without letting them buy their products because they didn’t have an appointment. She insisted they needed an appointment to buy shampoo and conditioner.”

Cutting Any Potential Mix-Ups Short

, , , | Working | October 1, 2018

(I work in a salon. A woman comes in sporting a large hat that covers most of her hair; what sticks out looks terrible.)

Woman: “I’m looking to get my haircut like this picture.”

Stylist: “Um, that’s a guy with a really short cut.”

Woman: “Exactly.”

Stylist: “Well, let me see.”

(He leads her to a chair and she removes her hat. Her hair is completely a mess; it’s scissored randomly, mostly super short, and then longish in other places.)

Stylist: “Oh, jeez. What happened with that hair? Did someone hurt you? Do you need police?”

Woman: “No, I cut my hair so you can cut it the way I want, immediately. It was at the middle of my back, and the last time I wanted it this short the stylist wasted a lot of time cutting it way too long with me yelling at him.”

Stylist: “…”

Woman: “…”

Stylist: “I see… You butchered your hair because men like me can be sexist and won’t cut that way.”

Woman: “Exactly.”

Stylist: “Well. I admit it. I was thinking of asking you to consider longer lengths.”

Woman: “Well, it’s out of the question now. Cut it exactly like the picture, please.”

Would You Like To Super-Size Your Bangs Today?

, , , , | Right | September 23, 2018

(I am at a hair salon. The way the system works at this particular location is you write your name down on the sign-in form, and an employee crosses your name out once they put your name on the computer waiting list. My sister and I have already signed in and been added to the computer. I am getting my hair cut and my sister is just waiting her turn, when an elderly man walks in and puts his name on the list. My sister gets called.)

Elderly Man: “Isn’t it my turn now? There was no one before me on the list!”

Employee #1: *explains that my sister was first, because she signed in first*

Elderly Man: “Hmph!”

(My hair is done, I have paid, and I am waiting now for my sister to finish up. The elderly man gets called.)

Employee #2: *to elderly man* “How are you today?”

Elderly Man: “I still don’t understand why I wasn’t next; all the other names were crossed out on the list.”

Employee #2: *patiently repeats what the other employee already said*

Elderly Man: “Hmph!”

(My sister looks uncomfortable. I’m wondering what his problem is, since my sister was obviously there before he came in.)

Employee #2: “How were you wanting your hair cut today?”

Elderly Man: “Cut it medium with the clippers.”

Employee #2: *hesitates, looks confused* “A number three comb?”

Elderly Man: “Medium!”

Employee #2: “I’m not sure what you mean.”

Elderly Man: “Medium! Medium! How can you not know what a medium haircut is?!”

(By this time my sister is done and paying. As we leave, the elderly man is still insisting that he always gets his hair cut “medium.” The poor stylist is flustered and confused.)

Me: *to my sister* “I think he has [Hair Salon] confused with [Fast Food Restaurant].”

The Shoe Doesn’t Fit

, , , , , | Right | July 17, 2018

(I work at a nail salon inside a popular mall. The direct line to our salon is very close to the number for the mall, so it’s not uncommon to have people call us by mistake.)

Me: “[Nail Salon], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Shoes.”

Me: *thinking I’ve misheard him* “Excuse me?”

Customer: *sounding angry* “Shoes!”

Me: *very confused now* “I’m sorry, we are a nail salon; we don’t have shoes. Do you need the number for the mall?”

Customer: *now very angry* “SHOES!”

Me: “One moment, please, while I connect your call.” *hangs up*

Coworker: “What was that?”

Me: “He just kept yelling, ‘Shoes.’ I think he thought I was a recording.”

Coworker: “Welcome to the service industry.”

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