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Gotta Have Something To Do When You’re Snowed In

, , , , , , , | Working | June 22, 2022

Back in the 1970s, I was in the local shopping plaza to pick up food as a snowstorm had started.

I heard this conversation take place.

Beauty Salon Owner: “I’m going to close up now. How about you?”

Liquor Store Owner: “Lady, I can’t close. I’m a public service!”

I’m All Stylist And No Stardust

, , , , | Right | June 7, 2022

I’m a hairstylist, and sometimes my clients are very sweet but also very dumb. I habitually check throughout a haircut to see if they’re happy with the length.

Me: “Okay, how does that look to you?”

Client: “Umm, maybe just a little shorter?”

Me: *Snip, snip, blend.* “Okay, how’s that? Don’t be afraid to tell me, I’d rather keep going until you’re happy with it!”

Client: “Hmm, just a little more, please.”

This continues for a bit, eventually taking off a bit more than I thought she wanted, but it was a dry cut at this point, so it wouldn’t shrink up on her. However, after the last check I did, I got this response:

Client: “Actually… yeah, that’s a bit shorter than I wanted. Could you cut it longer, please?”

Me: *Laughs.*

Client: *Is completely serious and expectant.*

Client’s Mom: *Stares at her daughter in WTF.*

Me: “Umm… I’m sorry, what?”

Client: “Yes, it’s a little shorter than I wanted, I should’ve stopped you after the last one. Will you cut it longer, please?”

Me: *Thinking I’m being trolled.* “I’m sorry, my pair of magic shears are on back order!”

Client: “Oh, shoot! Well, can you ask another stylist to borrow hers?”

Client’s Mom: “[Client’s Name], what are you talking about?!”

Client: “You know, like in that movie we watched the other day!”

Client’s Mom: “…You mean Stardust?!”

Client: “Yes! Where the captain is doing a makeover on the kid and cuts his hair longer! Exactly!”

Me: *Still thinking I’m being trolled.* “I know that movie and that scene. But no, I’m sorry, I can’t use anyone else’s.”

Client’s Mom: *Staring at her daughter in horror.* “You know that’s a movie, right? A complete work of fiction?!”

Client: *Pointing to me.* “Well, yeah, but she’s a stylist. She knows how to do these things.”

Me: *Realizing this adult woman is serious.* “Uh… no… no, I’m sorry, I can’t cut it longer, just… just shorter…”

My client was twenty at the time and was genuinely confused as to why I couldn’t use my shears to add length. Her mom looked like she couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry. As I said, sweet girl, but dumb AF.

Pretending Not To Know The Language Is A Great Strategy In Many Scenarios!

, , , , , , | Legal | February 13, 2022

Two months after I start a new job, I get a jury summons in the mail. I work in a nail salon owned by a Vietnamese man and I am the only non-Asian technician working at the salon. At this point in my career, I’m not sure if I will be able to explain to him what the jury summons means in regard to missing work and that not showing up for the summons can get you in some legal hot water.

Luckily, when I bring my summons to show him, he seems to understand (to some degree) the importance of it. He even has received some in the mail in the past. He does know, also, that sometimes individuals can actually “get out of” jury duty with certain acceptable exceptions and asks if I’ve tried that route. However:

Me: “Actually, I had a jury summons a few months ago that I had to call and ask to be excused from because I was actively job searching and had almost no money at the time.”

Boss: “Oh. See, when I would go to those, I just say my English is no good and they tell me I can go.”

Me: *Pauses* “Yeah, well, there’s no way I can convincingly use that excuse.”

My boss laughed hysterically.

I attended my jury duty that following Monday and ended up not being selected and therefore not disrupting my work week!

A Different Kind Of Blow Out

, , , | Right | August 13, 2021

The salon where I work offers complimentary glasses of wine and champagne to patrons receiving services so long as they are of legal drinking age and can prove it with ID if we ask. We offer water and sometimes soda as an alternative or if the patrons are younger. I am working on a young client, possibly in her late teens. She sees one of my coworkers take out a bottle of wine and pour a few glasses.

Client: “Excuse me, is that alcohol?”

Me: “Yes. It’s white wine.”

Client: “How much is it?”

Me: “We actually offer it free of charge, so long as—”

Client: *Cutting me off* “And do you have to be twenty-one?”

Me: “Yes. You can only drink it if you’re twenty-one.”

I don’t know what would make her think that she, as a minor, would be excluded from purchasing and consuming alcohol from a grocery store, bar, liquor store, public event, parties, and everything in between due to age restrictions according to law but would easily be able to enjoy it in a random nail salon without consequence.

She’s About To Go Atomic Blonde

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Puzzleheaded-Dirt-78 | April 20, 2021

My friend is a hairdresser by trade and works at a very upscale salon. I go to her myself and can attest to her being amazing. This salon has one customer who had been passed around from hairdresser to hairdresser, bullying every single one she sees. This woman is an absolute terror and has made three, count em’ THREE, separate hairdressers cry. The only reason she is still a client of the salon is that her mom is friends with the owner.

She is relatively young, maybe in her mid-twenties, with very long bottle-blonde hair (past her waist) that she insists to everyone who isn’t her hairdresser is her natural color (it is very much not). She goes to the salon religiously so no one will ever find out her secret shame. She blames her hairdresser for all her hair problems (many of which are the results of heavy bleaching, how much heat she uses on her hair, and her refusal to follow care instructions) and is never satisfied with anything.

For health reasons, everything shuts down in our state. They get a phone call as they’re closing up.

Customer: *Screaming* “You need to come and do my hair! My boyfriend can’t find out I’m not a natural blonde!”

Friend: “I’m afraid until the state allows us to re-open, I can’t—”

Customer: “You will lose your job!”

My friend refuses and despite the customer’s threats, she knows that the salon owner knows she’s too good at her job and has too loyal a customer base to fire her, so she thinks no more of it.

A few months later, when the salon reopens, lo and behold, who should appear in the appointment book! The day arrives and she shows up with her hair dyed JET BLACK (and not very well, either). My friend is shocked because this customer has always made such a big deal about being a blonde and how even though she gets her hair bleached she really is a natural blonde and just “enhancing her color a little.”

Friend: “So, what are we doing today?”

Customer: *Demanding* “You’re making me blonde again.”

Friend: “Uh, okay, that’s going to be a process. Getting dyed dark hair to blonde is usually something done in stages, so the hair has a chance to recover a bit between bleaching sessions to avoid breakage.”

Also, she has used black box dye, which is really hard to get out.

Customer: “No! I am going to be blonde when I leave here today or I am telling your boss that you see clients at home sometimes and getting you fired!”

My friend sometimes does a friend’s hair at home for a lower price because she’s a sweetheart, which her boss is fine with.

Customer: “It’s your fault I had to dye my own hair this color because my boyfriend would have SEEN MY ROOTS if I hadn’t done something!”

My friend is tired of her BS at this point but it’s a slow day, and she has time.

Friend: “If we make you blonde all in one go, your hair will be fried, and you’ll likely end up having to lose a lot of length.”

Customer: *Scoffing and rolling her eyes* “That’s never happened before, and my hair’s so healthy, I’m sure it will be fine if you don’t screw it up.”

Friend: “Then I recommend at least using [Product that helps prevent damage].”

Customer: “That’s a scam. You’re just trying to overcharge customers. I won’t pay for it.”

Friend: “Okay, but I am making sure several of my coworkers be witnesses that this is what you’re asking for.”

After that, my friend goes through the whole process of bleaching the customer’s hair. She has to do it several times, and she checks with her after each one that she’s absolutely sure she has to be all the way back to champagne blonde by the end of the day. She recommends stopping at some of the nice auburn or strawberry blonde shades in between for now, but the customer insists:

Customer: “My boyfriend hates my hair anything but my ‘natural’ blonde.”

With each bleaching, there’s more breakage and the hair feels worse. My friend knows the hair won’t survive this, but the customer absolutely refuses to let her stop. Eventually, at long last, my friend manages to get the customer’s hair to the required level, and so she starts to rinse it.

It starts breaking off in her hand; the length of her hair is melted, fried, and destroyed. My friend gets the bleach out and immediately conditions the ever-loving f*** out of it while explaining that exactly what she said would happen has happened.

Customer: “You must be exaggerating. I’m sure it’s fine.”

My friend wraps what’s left of the woman’s hair in a towel and takes her back over to her station where she shows her the problem; everything past a little beyond chin length is pretty much gone.

Customer: *Shrieks* “You incompetent b****! You must be operating without a license! This is a personal attack against me! You have a vendetta!”

My friend eventually calms her down.

Friend: “I’ll do my best to cut it so it looks decent for free.”

She even has the PERFECT cut in mind. It’ll suit this woman who likes to complain and “ask for the manager” perfectly.

My friend gives this customer the sharpest, most beautifully cut angled bob you’ve ever seen, blown out and styled to perfection. The customer starts crying because the cut makes her look forty.

She… wants to speak to the manager.

My friend gets the manager and the customer throws a fit.

Customer: “I’m going to sue! How dare you?! You did this to mock me!”

The boss then asked my friend for her side of the story. The other hairdressers backed her up and said that the cut was just her trying to make the best of what was left of the customer’s hair. Even the boss was sick of this customer by now, and she was forced to pay the huge sum of money owed for how much time was spent bleaching her hair (much of which was now gone) and left, swearing never to come back.

Her boyfriend (a cop) called up later and threatened to assault my friend for doing that to her hair “against his wishes,” and my friend told him if he tried anything, she was going to tell his superiors and every news agency in the city. Nothing further happened.

This customer’s behavior cannot be attributed to her boyfriend’s influence; she was like that long before they got together. She had been going to that salon since she was a teenager (the older stylists who’d been there a while told my friend stories of her antics) and had always been a terror.