I’m getting my nails done, and the salon is packed. It’s on the ground level of our office building, so a few people from the building use it. There’s a thirty-minute wait, and all appointment slots are booked. 

A woman walks in and asks for a pedicure.

Desk Guy: “It’ll be about twenty minutes. We can let your feet soak, and you can use the chair massage while you wait.”

Customer: “Fine.”

She sits down. Less than seven minutes later, she suddenly starts screaming at the nail techs.

Customer: “Don’t you people speak English?! I said I’m in a hurry! My time is valuable! I make so much an hour, and you’re wasting my time and costing me money!”

I’m on a work call and have to mute my mic because she’s so loud.

She throws her shoes on and storms toward the door.

I recognize her; she works in my industry, so as she’s walking out, I say loudly:

Me: “Oh, she doesn’t make that much an hour. In fact, she’s one of the worst in our industry. I can’t wait to tell the very international company we work for that she doesn’t want to work with people who don’t speak English.”

She whips around to see who said it. Her face drops when she sees me.

Customer: “I… uh… I’m just having a hectic day.”

She leaves. I’ve never had to deal with her directly, but whenever we’ve been in the same meeting, it’s great to see her recognize me as the person who had to remind her to be a polite human.

I’m the assistant salon manager for a large beauty company, and my boss is the district trainer. She’s the one who fixes the worst hair disasters from other locations. Enter the customer in full bottle-blonde fury.

Customer: *Storming in.* “I need this fixed. Right now!”

Me: “Okay… did you have your service at one of our other locations?”

Customer: “Yes. They ruined it. I didn’t pay them, obviously.”

Red flag number one. My boss steps in from the back. 

Boss: “Hi, I’m [Boss’s Name], district trainer. I understand you’re unhappy with your service.”

Customer: “Unhappy?! They should be arrested for this mess! And then I had the MANAGER fix it, but it’s still awful! So now you’re going to do it!”

Boss: “I see… and did you pay for either of those services?”

Customer: “Of course not! Why would I pay for a disaster?” 

Boss: “Ma’am, in the state of Minnesota, refusing to pay for a service you received is theft of service. This will be your third visit without payment. If you want me to do your hair, you’ll need to pay for the service before we begin. Otherwise, we will need to call the police.”

Customer: *Gasping.* “Are you threatening me?!”

Boss: “I’m telling you the law, ma’am. Now, I can work on your hair until you’re happy, and we’ll consider it plus your other two sessions as just one appointment, but you will be paying upfront.”

Customer: “Well, you can forget it! I’m not paying a dime until I see if I like it!” 

Boss: “Then I’m afraid we won’t be able to help you today.” 

Her face goes red. She grabs her coffee, takes one last look at my boss’s chair, and then dumps the entire thing onto it.

Customer: “There! Now you’ll remember me!”

Me: “Oh, believe me, we will.”

She storms out. I start grabbing paper towels. 

Boss: “Good news: this one’s easier to clean up than her hair.”

A couple of days ago, I was getting my nails done at a local salon. The women who work there are amazing, just three of them, so they time-manage as best they can. Most people just walk in, and most people know that if you do, you’ll probably have to wait. They’ll usually say something like, “Come back in [amount of time] and we’ll be ready for you.”

I had an appointment and still ended up waiting a little. No big deal, they were slammed.

While I was waiting, three people came in and got their names written down as next in line, along with two girls already waiting beside me. That’s five people behind me. 

I finally sit down to get my nails done. It’s just a simple manicure with no polish. One tech is busy doing pedicures for a couple, and another is just starting a full set. 

And then, a teenage girl walks in with her parents. She immediately sits herself down at a table without saying a word. Her parents go straight to the woman doing my nails and say, and I quote:

Parent: “Her flight leaves in five hours, and we have to leave in one hour to make it on time. Her nail just broke. Fix it.”

Rude. So, so rude. Not to mention: five people are ahead of her.

The nail tech tries to explain that, but the parents just talk over her. The techs briefly talk among themselves in their own language, then the woman doing my nails nods and says:

Nail Tech: “Okay. When I’m done with her, I’ll fix it.”

Cool, cool. So then I smiled and said:

Me: “Actually, can I get a dip manicure with nail art? Oh, and the deluxe spa package too?”

Suddenly, that hour flew by. The parents were fuming. The teenager was pouting. And by the time the hour was up, they’d all walked out, her nail still broken.

My nails? Flawless. 

I tipped extra.

As a hairdresser, I get asked about my political stance a lot since I spend so long in close proximity to single customers. I am tired of having heated political arguments with customers, so now I just say:

Client: “Are you voting? Who for?”

Me: “I take voting very seriously, and you can count on me to participate in the election.”

Client: “But who for!?”

Me: “Our votes are cast privately for a reason. I never reveal my choices because of how seriously I take voting.”

Client: “You’re a f****** democrat! Only they take voting seriously!”

I’m working at the front desk of a local tanning salon. A customer walks in.

Customer: “I need a tan before my vacation tomorrow. Caribbean. I want to look natural when I get there.”

Me: “Great! We’ve got a few options. How dark are you aiming for?”

Customer: “Whatever level gets me from Wisconsin winter to Kardashian bronze in one session.”

Me: *Carefully.* “We usually recommend a gradual build; one session won’t get you there safely.”

Customer: *Waving me off.* “No, no, no. I don’t want a safe glow. I want to arrive.”

Me: “Okay… but going too dark too fast could leave you looking a little orange.”

Customer: “I don’t care. I just don’t want to stand out.”

I keep thinking this is definitely gonna make her stand out, but hey, the customer is always right. She goes in for the maximum setting and duration we can safely and legally provide.

While she’s in there, her friend comes in looking for her and seems surprised that her session is still going. She walks up to the room where her friend is tanning, knocks on the door, and shouts:

Customer’s Friend: “Hun! There’s a fine line between ‘sun-kissed’ and ‘traffic cone,’ and you’re sprinting toward it!”

The customer eventually came out very red. The tan will come in about 24-72 hours later, and I could already tell she’s going to be halfway to a new melanin category.