Piercing Observation, Part 3

, , , | Working | October 13, 2017

(I live in Sweden and when going home to Portugal, I decide to go to a beauty salon to get my fingernails done. Note that I have a good job in Sweden, and it is apparent that I am a person that enjoys metal and more alternative things, as I have some piercings, dress in black, and wear metal band t-shirts.)

Nail Technician: “What color do you want to paint your nails?”

Me: “Black.”

Nail Technician: “Oh, my black nail polish is a bit ruined. Don’t you want some red or blue instead?”

Me: “Not really. I am not so fond of those colors and the black nail polish is the only thing that works to make me not bite my fingernails.”

Nail Technician: “Okay, then. We can try using it. Why do you have those piercings? They look ridiculous! Don’t your parents complain? You will never get a job like that.”

Me: “I am 30 years old; my parents have nothing to do with it. Besides, I am living 4000 km away from them; they just come visit once in a while. And I have a very good job in Sweden.”

Nail Technician: *interrupting me* “[Coworker], do you want to get lunch after?” *back at me* “You know, my niece has a boyfriend that is manipulating her into those metallic things. Pfft. She’s studying to become a doctor; she needs to have more dignity than that. She wanted to paint her nails black. I didn’t allow her. No one dressed like that and with black fingernails is allowed in my house.”

Me: “It’s not the way a person dresses that makes her a better or worse professional.”

Nail Technician: *very quickly* “Okay, you’re done. Good bye.” *gets up and goes out of the salon*

(In the end, the black nail polish worked flawlessly, surprise! And the job was so quick that I didn’t even have time to get up and leave, even though my blood started to boil.)

Baseballs And Sticks

, , , , , | Working | October 11, 2017

(I’m getting my hair cut. My stylist and I are the only people in the salon. A well-dressed lady in her 60s walks in, stares at us, and sits down. My stylist calls out a greeting. No response. After about five minutes, the lady gets up, glares at us, and stomps out without saying a word.)

Stylist: “Who was that?”

Me: “No idea. I thought she was your next appointment.”

Stylist: “I’ve never seen her before in my life!”

Me: “I’m glad she left. Did you see the look she gave us?”

Stylist: “Ah, I don’t worry about people like that. She’s got a stick where it doesn’t belong, you know?”

(I laugh and she resumes cutting my hair. The owner of the beauty supply store next door comes running into the salon.)

Owner: “[Stylist]! Do you know who that was that just walked out of here?”

Stylist: “Nope, can’t say I do. Why?”

Owner: “She just came next door and complained. That’s Mrs. [Vaguely Familiar Last Name]!”

Stylist: “Who?”

Owner: “She’s married to the owner of [Baseball Team]!”

Stylist: “How was I supposed to know that? [My Name], did you know that?”

Me: “Nope. I root for [Local Baseball Team], not the Evil Empire.”

Owner: “You didn’t take care of her!”

Stylist: “I have a client right now!” *gestures to me*

Owner: “You should’ve taken care of her right away!”

Me: “Excuse me?!”

Stylist: “I’m not kicking one of my regular clients out for an old lady with an attitude problem! Go back to your store!”

(The store owner walks out, muttering to herself.)

Stylist: “Told you. Sticks where they don’t belong.”

I’ll Have The Massage She’s Having

, , , | Friendly | October 2, 2017

(A friend has decided to start a small business providing healing massages at his wife’s beauty salon. He is relying on word-of-mouth recommendations. He has just given a massage to an acquaintance who has absolutely no filter. She waits until he is having a conversation with other friends.)

Acquaintance: “[Name], that massage you gave me was great; I was like—” *throws head back, moans, and pulls an orgasm face* “—afterwards. I’ll recommend you to everyone, they’ll all want to—” *moans again* “—as well.”

(My friend was clearly embarrassed. His wife just rolled her eyes and shook her head. He stuttered a thank you. She walked off, quite pleased with herself. A few other friends waited until they thought my friend was out of earshot and discussed how they would never let him touch them after that. She did more harm than good with her performance.)

Unfiltered Story #95555

, | Unfiltered | September 22, 2017

(I am getting my nails done for the first time at a friend’s salon. I was thinking about asking her about doing a pedicure.)

Friend: “Okay, how do you want your nails filed, oval or straight?”

Me: “Straight’s fine. I was thinking about getting a pedifile—oops I mean Pedicure done.”

(My friend’s husband sticks his head in the room.)

Husband: “What the h*** did I just hear? We don’t do those here, weirdo.”

Me: “I knew how bad it was going to be, but I just couldn’t stop it.”

Going For A Different (A)Tone

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Working | April 12, 2017

(I work for a Jewish agency and as such have all the major (and some not-so-major) Jewish holidays off. I am of Jewish heritage but I’m fully lapsed and don’t practice, but all the time off is nice! On one of these holidays I go to my hairstylist. He’s very good but he tried a new color on my hair the week before that did not work out. He’s fixing it as we have this conversation.)

Stylist: “I’m sorry about this.”

Me: “That’s okay. No harm done.”

Stylist: “And I’m sorry you had to come in on a Wednesday! I hope you didn’t have to work late tonight or take time off for this.”

Me: “Oh, no. I have the day off. It’s a holiday.”

Stylist: “Holiday?”

Me: “Yeah, a Jewish holiday. I work for [Jewish Agency]. It’s Yom Kippur.”

Stylist: “Oh, okay. Sorry, I can’t remember what that one is. Is it, like, Jewish New Year or something?”

Me: “No, that’s Rosh Hashana. That was last week. Yom Kippur is the day of atonement. I’m supposed to be atoning for my sins of the last year. But I’m here instead. Oh, well!”

Stylist: “I guess instead you’re atoning for my sins! The sin of choosing the wrong color for your hair!”

(It looked great when he was done!)

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