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Bookworming Your Way Into Her Heart

, , , , , | Working | March 31, 2021

My girlfriend’s birthday is coming up. She’s a huge bookworm, so I decide to get her a fifty-dollar gift card for a chain bookstore. The cashier seems very friendly as she rings me up.

Cashier: “Out of curiosity, who’s this for?”

Me: “My girlfriend. Her birthday’s next week.”

Cashier: “Oh, cool. What else are you getting her?”

Me: “Uh, this? This is her gift.”

Suddenly, the cashier is no longer so friendly.

Cashier: “This is it? The only thing you’re getting her is a gift card for a bookstore?”

Me: *Pauses* “Yeah. She loves books.”

Cashier: *Muttering* “Someone’s gonna be single next week.”

I was incredibly shocked. I tried not to let her response bother me, but since this was my first serious relationship, I couldn’t stop thinking about what that cashier had said. Plus, money was tight, so I had already spent time saving up for that gift card. Luckily, my girlfriend absolutely loved it and, knowing my money situation, even chastised me for spending so much money on her! We’re married now, by the way.

Can I Return This Judgy Cashier, Please? Part 2

, , , , , , , | Working | March 17, 2021

I’m the author of this story. It seems this runs in the family!

My mom just told me about a time she was at the grocery store with my brother when he was a baby. Included in her purchases were a loaf of bread and a few jars of baby food.

Cashier: “Hmm, baby food. You know, it’s a lot better to make your own. Cheaper, too.”

My mom is bouncing my brother on her hip as she responds.

Mom: “I guess. I’m excited to have him try these foods.”

Cashier: “I mean, it’s just a better choice all around to make your own. It’s not like it’s hard.”

Mom: *Rolling her eyes* “Okay, then. I’m ready to pay.”

Cashier: “That’ll be [price way higher than Mom expected].”

Mom: “That… seems a little high.”

Cashier: “Your total is [same price].”

Mom: “Can you print out the receipt for me to check it?”

The cashier prints out a receipt, which my mom studies.

Mom: “You charged me for twenty-three loaves of bread when I only have one.”

Cashier: “Um, oops…”

Mom paid the correct total, and my brother survived just fine on the food Mom fed him, jarred or not. And she still keeps an eye on receipts and totals in case someone’s too busy judging her to properly ring her up.

Related:
Can I Return This Judgy Cashier, Please?

A Double Cartload Of Jerk

, , , , , | Working | March 11, 2021

I live with three other people, but as the other three work full-time and I’m self-employed, I tend to do household errands like shopping. Two of the four people in the house have diet restrictions, so with already getting stuff for everyone, I have to make sure I get things safe for them. I usually end up with two carts at checkout, and most of the cashiers know my face. One day, I end up in a new cashier’s lane.

Cashier: “Woah, that’s… a lot.”

Me: *Chuckles* “Yeah, this is even a small haul for this week!”

I start unloading the first cart. There’s a lot of cookies, sodas, and other junk food in this cart, though it’s not an unreasonable amount when it’s split up between four people. The cashier scans a few items and then stops and watches me.

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Cashier: “Did you grab anything healthy? That’s a lot of sugar.”

Me: “I’ve got produce and other stuff in the carts.”

Cashier: “Are you sure you can afford this? It’s probably gonna be over $200 total.”

Me: “It should be around [amount], actually; I keep track of costs while I’m shopping.”

She doesn’t move.

Cashier: “Hmm…”

She ends up paging a manager over. I can’t unload more, since the belt is full and she won’t scan anything. The manager comes over.

Manager: “Hey, [My Name]. What’s up, [Cashier]?”

Cashier: “I feel like she’s going to steal stuff.”

Manager: “I…. What?”

Cashier: “She has a ton of stuff!”

Manager: “And you think she’s going to steal because she brought up a lot of food?”

Cashier: “Yeah! She’s probably going to unload the first cart and then run off with the second!”

Manager: “[Cashier], people come through with two carts of product all the time. I have never heard of anyone at this store using it to steal. Ring her up.”

Cashier: “You’re in on it! You’re just gonna let her do it!”

Manager: “Can you go wait in the office? Tell [Other Worker] I’ll be in there soon.”

The cashier leaves. The manager signs in, rings me out, and gives me a small discount.

Manager: “She’s been convinced that anything other than a normal-sized, normal-priced cart of groceries is an attempt to shoplift. I’m so sorry.”

Me: “You’re all right. I’ll see you next week!”

When I went back, the cashier had been moved to stocking shelves. She glared at me when I went by with my two carts.

Way To Encourage Repeat Customers

, , , , | Working | March 10, 2021

I am buying a few clearance items at a store I rarely visit. This store has a rewards program that the cashiers have been rather pushy about in the past, but it’s not free, so I’m not interested.

Cashier: “Email address?”

Me: “Um… Do I have to? I don’t want to sign up for anything.”

Cashier: “It’s just so we can send coupons.”

Me: “Oh, I don’t need coupons.”

The cashier bypasses the email prompt and says huffily:

Cashier: “It’s not signing up for anything; it’s just so we can send you coupons.”

Then, the cashier throws the bag toward me and walks away.

Me: “And that’s why I don’t shop here very often.”

So Much For Going Postal

, , , , , , , | Friendly | February 13, 2021

Many, many years ago in the 1990s, when GPS, smartphones, online bill pay, and other such commodities were but a sci-fi dream, I was a teenager, and my parents and I took a family trip to California. Since we would be gone for a few weeks, my mom had brought the checkbook and was staying in contact with our house sitter who was opening our mail so that she could pay any bills that came in during our trip. So far, so good.

One morning, after staying in a motel in San Jose, we went in search of a post office to buy more stamps and mail out the bills. This was a suburban area, so we stopped at a gas station, filled the car, and went in to ask the cashier where the post office was. He stared at us in puzzlement.

Cashier: “Post office? I don’t think we have one of those.”

After assuring him that he absolutely did have one — otherwise, the mail would not arrive — we moved on in our search.

A short while later, we saw a traffic cop. Aha! Surely a police officer would know where the post office is. We parked off to the side and walked up to him. We explained how the gas station cashier thought there was no post office and laughed. He laughed with us.

Police Officer: “No, of course, we have one! It’s… It’s…”

Oh, dear. We sensed trouble.

Police Officer: “No, we do have one, I just… don’t think you can get there from here.”

Stymied by how a post office could be located in a place unreachable by humans, we left him at the corner.

In the end, we decided to wait another day to mail our letters. Thankfully, San Francisco had the foresight to install a post office and roads that led all the way to it.