A Double Cartload Of Jerk

, , , , , | Working | March 11, 2021

I live with three other people, but as the other three work full-time and I’m self-employed, I tend to do household errands like shopping. Two of the four people in the house have diet restrictions, so with already getting stuff for everyone, I have to make sure I get things safe for them. I usually end up with two carts at checkout, and most of the cashiers know my face. One day, I end up in a new cashier’s lane.

Cashier: “Woah, that’s… a lot.”

Me: *Chuckles* “Yeah, this is even a small haul for this week!”

I start unloading the first cart. There’s a lot of cookies, sodas, and other junk food in this cart, though it’s not an unreasonable amount when it’s split up between four people. The cashier scans a few items and then stops and watches me.

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Cashier: “Did you grab anything healthy? That’s a lot of sugar.”

Me: “I’ve got produce and other stuff in the carts.”

Cashier: “Are you sure you can afford this? It’s probably gonna be over $200 total.”

Me: “It should be around [amount], actually; I keep track of costs while I’m shopping.”

She doesn’t move.

Cashier: “Hmm…”

She ends up paging a manager over. I can’t unload more, since the belt is full and she won’t scan anything. The manager comes over.

Manager: “Hey, [My Name]. What’s up, [Cashier]?”

Cashier: “I feel like she’s going to steal stuff.”

Manager: “I…. What?”

Cashier: “She has a ton of stuff!”

Manager: “And you think she’s going to steal because she brought up a lot of food?”

Cashier: “Yeah! She’s probably going to unload the first cart and then run off with the second!”

Manager: “[Cashier], people come through with two carts of product all the time. I have never heard of anyone at this store using it to steal. Ring her up.”

Cashier: “You’re in on it! You’re just gonna let her do it!”

Manager: “Can you go wait in the office? Tell [Other Worker] I’ll be in there soon.”

The cashier leaves. The manager signs in, rings me out, and gives me a small discount.

Manager: “She’s been convinced that anything other than a normal-sized, normal-priced cart of groceries is an attempt to shoplift. I’m so sorry.”

Me: “You’re all right. I’ll see you next week!”

When I went back, the cashier had been moved to stocking shelves. She glared at me when I went by with my two carts.

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Way To Encourage Repeat Customers

, , , , | Working | March 10, 2021

I am buying a few clearance items at a store I rarely visit. This store has a rewards program that the cashiers have been rather pushy about in the past, but it’s not free, so I’m not interested.

Cashier: “Email address?”

Me: “Um… Do I have to? I don’t want to sign up for anything.”

Cashier: “It’s just so we can send coupons.”

Me: “Oh, I don’t need coupons.”

The cashier bypasses the email prompt and says huffily:

Cashier: “It’s not signing up for anything; it’s just so we can send you coupons.”

Then, the cashier throws the bag toward me and walks away.

Me: “And that’s why I don’t shop here very often.”

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So Much For Going Postal

, , , , , , , | Friendly | February 13, 2021

Many, many years ago in the 1990s, when GPS, smartphones, online bill pay, and other such commodities were but a sci-fi dream, I was a teenager, and my parents and I took a family trip to California. Since we would be gone for a few weeks, my mom had brought the checkbook and was staying in contact with our house sitter who was opening our mail so that she could pay any bills that came in during our trip. So far, so good.

One morning, after staying in a motel in San Jose, we went in search of a post office to buy more stamps and mail out the bills. This was a suburban area, so we stopped at a gas station, filled the car, and went in to ask the cashier where the post office was. He stared at us in puzzlement.

Cashier: “Post office? I don’t think we have one of those.”

After assuring him that he absolutely did have one — otherwise, the mail would not arrive — we moved on in our search.

A short while later, we saw a traffic cop. Aha! Surely a police officer would know where the post office is. We parked off to the side and walked up to him. We explained how the gas station cashier thought there was no post office and laughed. He laughed with us.

Police Officer: “No, of course, we have one! It’s… It’s…”

Oh, dear. We sensed trouble.

Police Officer: “No, we do have one, I just… don’t think you can get there from here.”

Stymied by how a post office could be located in a place unreachable by humans, we left him at the corner.

In the end, we decided to wait another day to mail our letters. Thankfully, San Francisco had the foresight to install a post office and roads that led all the way to it.

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That’s Not Very Charitable Of You

, , , , , | Working | February 12, 2021

During the health crisis, I am grocery shopping for the elderly and vulnerable. This is through a charity that gives me a prepaid credit card to buy the groceries. I then collect a cheque from the infirm and deliver it to the charity to pay off the card.

The credit cards are old-fashioned and don’t have chips so I have to slide them in the machine and sign the store receipt.

One time, the cashier asks to see the card. She looks at the back.

Cashier: “The card isn’t signed.”

Me: “No. Well, it’s a prepaid card.”

Cashier: “Right, but it’s not signed. How do I know it’s yours?”

Me: “Umm. Well, I volunteer shop for [Charity]?”

I pull an explanatory letter from the charity out of my wallet — needed when shopping for multiple families so I can get more than the allotted supplies, like toilet paper.

Me: “They fill the cards and give them to the volunteers. When they’re out of money, we return them and they refill them again. We can’t sign them because we don’t know who will get them next.”

Cashier: “Sorry, but it’s a card that’s not signed. I can’t accept it.”

There was a grumpy line forming behind me and we had only scanned the first of three family orders I was buying, and it takes a bit of time to process each.

I paid with my debit card and my volunteer coordinator paid me back with her petty cash. I avoid that cashier now as it’s hard to lend hundreds of dollars to a charity for several days while unemployed.

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Her Attitude Is More Revolting Than The Roaches

, , , , , | Working | December 28, 2020

I plan a trip to the local superstore. A friend who lives in an apartment has just discovered that her neighbor’s cockroach infestation has found the way into her apartment. She starts freaking out and asks me to pick up roach traps.

The cashier scans them with a look of disgust.

Cashier: “You know, the best way to not have cockroaches is to be clean. You can’t just drop food and not clean it up! That’s disgusting!”

Me: “Not that it’s any of your business, but these are for a friend. A very clean friend. The roaches climbed through the wall from the next apartment.” 

Cashier: *Doubting me* “Oh, really? Why didn’t your ‘friend’ buy these herself?”

She actually makes air quotes when she says, “Friend.”

Me: “If you must know, she’s self-conscious and upset. I volunteered to get them so she wouldn’t have to deal with an ignorant, bigoted b**** like you.”

Her jaw was still dropped as I left the store.

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