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No Employee Makes Enough Cheddar To Deal With This

, , , | Right | CREDIT: i-contain-multitudes | May 6, 2022

My sister is craving a cheddar jalapeño bagel, so my mom decides to go to a chain café to get one for her. It is ten minutes before closing, and they go through the drive-thru. My mom orders the cheddar bagel for my sister, plus some other things for the rest of the people at home, including a coffee cake.

Employee: “You’re lucky; you’re getting the last ones of everything you’re ordering!”

My mom pulls up to the window to pay and receive the food, and the drive-thru gal — about nineteen — is crying and apologizing profusely.

Employee: “The people in front of you stole the food!

Mom: “How did that happen?!”

Employee: “I made a mistake and I was about to give them the wrong order, but I realized my mistake before handing it over and said so out loud. They then reached out and grabbed the bag from me! They said, ‘You can’t have it back now; it’s cross-contaminated!’ And then, when I called for my manager, he was busy, and their order wasn’t ready yet, so I just had them pull up to wait for their food and they did.”

My mom is a really loving person, so she tries to reassure the employee.

Mom: “It’s okay, we don’t really need the food. And I’m not mad, really!”

In the meantime, the manager comes over to ask what is happening. The employee tells him and he is shocked.

Manager: “Is the [Car] parked out front the people who took the food?”

Employee: “Yes.”

He started going out to talk to the people in the car, and at that moment, they stepped on it and zipped out of the parking lot.

So now, those people had not only stolen my mom’s order, which were the last items, but they hadn’t even received their order! But the good news is that the manager had been saving a cheddar bagel for himself and gave it to my mom, free of charge.

This Is How You Lose Staff

, , , | Working | May 5, 2022

In the summer of 2021, I was looking for work and came across a vacancy at a new vegan cafe that was opening in an upmarket area of the city. Health crisis restrictions at the time were still in place but not very strict, so whilst it was brave to set up a new business at the time, it wasn’t crazy, and the owner was a local who already owned a few pubs in the area and seemed optimistic that the cafe would be successful. I am vegan, so I was really excited to work there. I did all the training and arrived for my first shift, by which time the cafe had been open for a few weeks already.

From the beginning, the whole thing seemed chaotic. When my colleague was showing me the ropes, it soon became clear there were no clear protocols in place for… anything. I was shown how to make various coffees and dishes by different colleagues during my training, each time slightly differently. Fortunately, (maybe), not much of the food was made fresh, so it was mostly a case of cooking frozen pastries and breakfast items in the oven, but we had some paninis on the menu which we would make the fillings for, to no specific recipe and with no measuring equipment. The kitchen area was tiny with limited equipment, and things were constantly being knocked over or clean utensils mixed with dirty ones.

Over the next few weeks, business was slow. The owner would often stop by, and one time he was present when a couple came in, realised we only had plant milk and no dairy milk, and left immediately. He was annoyed and decided we should start serving dairy milk. All the (female) staff told him this was a terrible idea; this had only happened a handful of times and more often people came in expressing delight at there being a fully vegan cafe in the area at last. 

Of course, he didn’t listen. I didn’t want to work for someone so fickle, so I quit, but I heard the rest from my colleagues. After that, apparently, the owner had some conversations with the (male) bartender from one of the pubs he owned, who also told him the dairy milk was a terrible idea. And guess what? He changed his mind. It might be a coincidence, or I might have dodged a bullet; I also wouldn’t have wanted to work for a misogynist. Either way, I guess whatever else he tried didn’t work, because when I passed the cafe a few months later, it had shut down.

Inhospitable At The Hospital

, , , , , | Healthy | April 27, 2022

I’m in the hospital right now, and I’m a fall risk, so I’m not even allowed out of bed without someone present. My only option for food is the room service menu since I can’t go to the other food places in the hospital or get delivery to the front desk. Their ordering hours are 6:30 am to 6:30 pm every day. I am cutting it close and call at 6:25 pm one night.

The lady starts taking my order and then snaps: 

Employee: “MA’AM, I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU CALL IN THIS KIND OF ORDER MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THE KITCHEN CLOSES IN THE FUTURE!”

The offending item was hummus on a tortilla wrap with lettuce and tomato.

It’s Called Parenting, Heard Of It?

, , , , , , , | Right | March 24, 2022

\My mum is visiting, a very rare occurrence as we live so far away, so we’ve gone out for a special afternoon tea. The place is busy with almost every table full when two women and an approximately three- or four-year-old boy come in. They’re sat down, and a waitress takes their order and brings their drinks. It isn’t long before the little boy starts grumbling.

Boy: “Mum, toilet!”

Mum: “Mmm, in a minute.”

Boy: “Nowwwwwwww!”

Mum: “Wait.”

Boy: “No, nowwwwwwww!”

This back and forth continues as the boy gets louder and louder while both women are staring at their phones. Eventually, an angelic waitress appears.

Waitress: “Hi, guys, shall I take him downstairs to the toilet? Or I can show you where it is?”

Mum: “Yeah, great. [Boy], go with the lady.”

They’re gone for a bit and the boy is then brought back up, holding the waitress’s hand. All is calm for about five minutes before he suddenly starts screaming in a high-pitched whine. The sudden noise makes all of the tables stop their conversations and stare at the boy.

We all wait for the two adults to do something, but both are still staring at their phones. The mum is taking photos of her pretty frappe and doesn’t seem to notice. After a few minutes of intermittent screaming, the waitress reappears.

Waitress: “Hey, buddy, how’s your drink?”

The boy suddenly stops screaming but carries on, sobbing and hiccupping.

Boy: “I-I-it’s okay.”

Waitress: “Can I get you anything else? Is it okay if I get him a cupcake or something?”

Mum: “Mmm, yeah, he can have whatever.”

The waitress gives him a cupcake, and he slowly starts eating it so there’s a few minutes of silence before the screaming starts up again. Another table of guests gets up, looking irritated, and leaves. Once again, the waitress seems to be hoping for the adults with the boy to intervene before she steps forward again. This time, she doesn’t even speak to the Mum.

Waitress: “Hey, buddy, do you want to see something cool?”

He nods silently.

Waitress: “Okay, come see. We’re about to ice a cake!”

She takes his hand and leads him behind the counter. The adults are seemingly taking selfies and photos of their cakes because they don’t acknowledge he’s left. They’re gone a little while. When they come back out, the waitress has given him a cloth and he’s helping her clean empty tables while she sprays them with cleaner. She’s doing a great job of keeping him distracted, but eventually, she gets called away, so she takes him back to his table where he promptly begins screaming again.

This time, a manager approaches.

Manager: “Hey, how is everything?”

Other Woman: “Yeah, good.”

Manager: “Great, I’m glad to hear it. Could I please ask that while you’re enjoying your food, though, your son just keeps his voice down? It’s a small space and the noise carries.”

Mum: “Yeah, yeah…”

Predictably, this does not work, and he’s soon screaming again.

Manager: “Hey, fella, I hope you’re not feeling too sad. We don’t like tears in here!”

The boy smiles and wipes his eyes a bit.

Manager: “Okay, remember to use your inside voice.” *Whispers* “Like thissss.”

It lasts a couple of minutes before the screaming starts again. The manager wearily approaches, and the mum stands up suddenly, snapping her fingers.

Mum: “Fine, fine. Give us a to-go box; we’re leaving.”

They left quickly with no thank-you to the waitress who had babysat her son for most of the meal. We asked later, and the manager had apparently added an extra service charge onto what they did pay.

The Adventures Of Boob-erMan!

, , , , , | Right | March 10, 2022

It’s a hot day and I’ve stopped in a bar/café to have a cold drink and breastfeed my young baby.

The staff are friendly and find me a comfy seat to hunker down in. I’ve been feeding for a few minutes when I notice a man watching me. He seems sleazy and overly interested. Unfortunately, I make eye contact and he comes over.

Sleazy Guy: “Are you offering them out free? Give us a taste!”

Me: “Please go away. I don’t want you near me.”

Sleazy Guy: “C’mon, don’t be like that! Milk’s good for us men, too! I’m happy to share!”

As he comes closer, a male staff member suddenly plops down next to me and lifts up his top.

Awesome Waiter: “Here you go! Have a suckle on this! Otherwise, you can f*** off like the creepy little saddo you are!”

The sleazy guy went several shades of red and stormed straight out of the place. I sat in amazement for quite a few seconds.

The awesome waiter winked and went back to work as if nothing happened. I left a huge tip and made sure to call his manager to let him know he had hired a legend.

When I went back a few weeks later, the awesome waiter was a manager and had the nickname, “Boob-erMan”!


This story is part of our Halfway-Through-2022 roundup!

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