Here We See The Bagels In Their Natural Habitat

, , , , , | Working | March 28, 2018

(I am at work and we are close to closing, so my coworker and I have started to clean up. My coworker is closing the bakery section of our cafe, and I am making fun of him having two empty bagel baskets out. My manager then looks at the bagel wall and says:)

Manager: “What is that?”

Coworker: “What?”

Manager: “The bagels, why are they like that?”

Coworker: “I wanted them to look nice?”

Manager: “No, you don’t see bagels in line like that in the wild.”

(My manager then just walked away. My coworker and I just looked at each other and started laughing. We started making jokes about bagels being little living creatures in the wild the rest of the night.)

Totally Misread That Situation

, , , , | Right | March 27, 2018

(I’m working in a quick-service cafe with different stations for sandwiches, soups, and salads where the customers order off menu placards overhead. Two customers, a middle-aged woman and an older man, are at the front of the line.)

Older Man: *squinting and pointing vaguely at signboards where dozens of items are listed* “What does that say?”

Me: *thinking he has poor eyesight* “Oh, we have some hand menus here if you have trouble making out the signs.”

Older Man: “Can’t you just read them to me?”

Me: *looking at the crowd of customers behind him* “Well, there are other people waiting to be served. I’ll be happy to get back to you after you’ve looked over the menu and decided what—”

Woman: *interrupting loudly and angrily* “He’s illiterate!

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry. I didn’t realize–“

Woman: “You should be ashamed of yourself, making fun of his disability!”

Me: “I wasn’t making fun of him. I didn’t realize he couldn’t read. I just offered a menu because I thought perhaps his eyesight was poor.”

Woman: “Well, you shouldn’t make assumptions! You’re DISCRIMINATING AND REFUSING TO ACCOMMODATE HIS DISABILITY!”

(At this point everyone in the line is staring, and the older man looks mortified.)

Woman: “See? This is why I have to go with him everywhere. Can’t you see you’re embarrassing him? YOU’RE SO INSENSITIVE!”

Me: “Ma’am, all I did was offer him a menu, which you were capable of helping him with discreetly, instead of making a scene and announcing that he can’t read. Now, please, step out of line so I can help these people who are ready to order, and return when you’ve made a decision.”

Woman: “No. We don’t want to be served by a bigot. We’ll get our lunch from a different station.” *to the man* “You’re going to have the soup. You can just point at what you want over there.”

(She shoots me a death glare and walks away with her nose in the air. There is a long silence and the man stands there for a moment with his gaze averted to the floor before following.)

Next Customer: “Whoa, that was awkward.”

(Later, my manager approaches me.)

Manager: “We got a complaint about you today. Were there any incidents?”

Me: “Yeah, I think I know who you mean. Some lady was yelling at me earlier because I offered her friend a menu when he couldn’t read. That was pretty much it.”

Manager: “Wow. She told us you were making fun of him, and also said that you refused to serve ‘an illiterate moron.’”

Me: “What?! No, I never said that! I just asked them to let me serve other customers while they made up their minds.”

Manager: “Yeah, that really didn’t sound like something you would say, but the guy looked so upset I thought I’d check.”

(We never saw them in our establishment again, but I hope that poor guy doesn’t have to go through that everywhere.)

Be The Extra Change You Want To See In The World

, , , , | Right | March 23, 2018

(I’ve just started work in a coffee shop. A group of teenagers walk in and order, and I think that’s the end of them, until one of the girls walks up while I’m taking the next customer’s order.)

Me: “I’m sorry. You’ll have to join the line—”

Girl: “Yeah, I know, I’m sorry. But I counted our change and you gave us an extra $20.”

(She holds out a $20 note for me. Stunned, I let it stay there for a second, before finally processing that someone had just complained about being given too much change.)

Me: “Oh! Thank you.”

Girl: “It’s rush hour and you’re the only one in here; I can’t blame you. Have a nice day, all right?” *walks away*

(It was the best day I’d had in a long time!)

Like, Hashtag Young People LOL

, , , , , | Working | March 16, 2018

(I work in a cafe that is situated inside a supermarket. I am inducting a new person who has informed me this is his first ever job. He is 16.)

Me: “You get free drinks throughout the day, a sandwich, and muffin, cookie, or cake of your choice with your break. So, you can pretty much live on coffee, if you want.”

Coworker: “Like, totes!”

Me: “What sort of drinks do you like?”

Coworker: “Like, everything! Like, I love coffee!”

Me: “Yeah, coffee is pretty good.”

Coworker: “#lols!” *pronounced “hashtag el-oh-els”*

(We continued with the induction and he was quite eager to get stuck in. We decided to put him on the register, and he did a good job, despite many people not really understanding his slang. I added him to our WhatsApp group at the end of our shift. He literally ends everything with, “lol,” and sends us so many pictures of random stuff, all with, “#me,” underneath. Most of us older employees have muted the group, along with some of the younger ones. They seem to understand him more. I just find it rather funny, though. I guess it’s an age thing, as he’s fine, otherwise.)

A Fruity Bunch

, , , , | Right | March 10, 2018

(A group of Chinese tourists come into our café. They clearly know each other well. When it comes to names:)

Tourist #1: “Mango.”

Tourist #2: “Apple.”

Tourist #3: “Banana.”

Tourist #4: “Grape.”

Tourist #5: “Strawberry.”

Tourist #6: “Peach.”

(My first thought was they decided to have fun, but given all the lists of weird English names of Chinese people I’ve seen, I have to wonder if those are actually their English names, perhaps picked out together?)

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