There Is No App For People This Stupid

, , , , , | Right | November 25, 2018

(I work in a national chain coffee shop similar to the one with the mermaid logo; we have a rewards app similar to theirs, although neither the app nor our store look the same in concept or design. A customer comes in who has been coming in pretty regularly the past couple of weeks. The first time I saw her, she recognized my boss and had a lengthy conversation with him, so it’s somewhat fair to assume she’s not unfamiliar with our cafe.)

Customer: *pulling out her phone to show me* “I have a free drink with you guys.”

Me: *instantly realizing it isn’t our application* “Um, I’m not sure that that’s our app.”

Customer: *condescendingly* “Yes, it issss!”

Me: “Are you sure? Would you mind taking it to the home page or something really quickly so I could verify?”

(The customer proceeds to exit out of the app, and I see on her screen she has the app for our competitor, which is what she presses on.)

Me: “Yeah, that’s not for this store.”

Customer: *in the same tone as before* “Yes, it issss!”

Me: “Uh, no, this is for [Competitor]. You’re at [My Cafe].”

Customer: “Yes, that’s right.”

Me: “Right, so, it doesn’t work here.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Um… Because it’s for [Competitor]. Again, we’re [My Cafe]. It doesn’t apply here.”

Customer: “Well, why not?!”

Me: *completely baffled that she hasn’t understood* “Because that’s the application for [Competitor] and it does not work here, because we are [My Cafe].”

Customer: “I don’t understand the difference!”

Me: “It’s for [Competitor], which is not our company. We are a totally separate company, completely unaffiliated with them, and we have a totally different application. Again, that’s for [Competitor], and that’s why we can’t accept it.”

Customer: “Oh! This isn’t [Competitor]?”

(She left after this. I’m still confused how she knew my boss so well and had been coming fairly consistently, yet didn’t realize this entire time that we were a totally different company. Our logos, design, concept, menu, and even colour scheme are completely different. Sadly, this is pretty common!)

Unfiltered Story #127605

, , | Unfiltered | November 24, 2018

[My friends and I are visiting Belgium from the UK and have stopped in a cafe. After deciding what we want, the waiter comes over.]

Friend: [in Flemish] Do you speak English?

Waiter: [in English] Yes, I do.

[We all place our orders in English and the waiter heads off. Later, he returns with our food.]

Waiter: [in English] Whereabouts in Germany are you from?

Us: Oh, no, we’re not German, we’re English.

Waiter: Oh. [laughs] Sorry. I thought you were German. Usually when we get English people in here they just shout at us loudly in English.

Friend: [smiles] We’re not like that.

Waiter: The Germans usually ask if we speak English. Odd. Enjoy your meals.

[And we did!]

Unfiltered Story #127594

, , | Unfiltered | November 23, 2018

(Not to start this off as a sob story, but it’s related to this story. I had lost my father at n early age. When I was 19 I was working at my mother’s cafe which was in a medical office building. My mom had just been in a bad car accident due to my step-father drinking and driving. Both survived accident. A week after my mom was still in the hospital and I was keeping the cafe up and running. Pretty much everyone at the medical office knew about what had happened to my mom. A customer/employee of the medical office came in.

Me-hello, how are you today?

Customer – I’m fine. How is you mom doing?

Me-she is doing better (I say politely)

Customer-Well, what’s that suppose to mean!? (She says clearly annoyed)

(At this point I’m very flustered so I just don’t respond to her.)

Customer-Well, how about your dad?! (In a demanding tone.)

(I turn to face her)

Me- My dad is dead. ( I walk to the back to cool off)

(My coworker goes to deal with her. After the customer leaves my coworker tells me that the customer was angry over the way I spoke to her and that she was never coming back into the cafe again. And in the following 3 years I worked there I never had to see her again)

Unfiltered Story #127550

, | Unfiltered | November 20, 2018

(I was waitressing at a maid café when this couple came in. They were in cosplay, the male dressed as Naruto and the girl was dressed in a sailor uniform. The male orders curry rice while the girl orders omurice. As a “service”, the maids usually draw cute pictures on the omurice in ketchup. I walk over to their table to ask them what they would like me to draw on the omurice.)

Male : Hey, ummm is it okay if my girlfriend draws on the omurice? She’s always wanted to try that.

(I hand the girl the bottle of ketchup and head to the front counter to seat some customers. Suddenly, the girl starts screaming. I walk over and I see that the girl has drawn a weird cat thing on her omurice.)

Girl : Yeahhhh…I kinda messed up my drawing on my omurice. Can I get a new one?

Me : Excuse me? You want a new omurice?

Girl : Like a new blank canvas.

Me : That would mean making you a completely new omurice. We’d have to charge you twice.

Girl : LOL! You don’t understand. Just make me a new one because the one you made me is fucked up.

Me : Sorry, I can’t replace it.

Girl : What the fuck kind of service is this? Do you have no pride as a maid? You should be kneeling down on the ground apologizing for angering your master.

(She starts ranting about how our service is bad, yelling all kinds of vulgarities. Her boyfriend’s just silently staring at her. Suddenly, he grabs her by the arm and pulls her out of the café. Later the boyfriend comes back in and hands my co-worker $50 for the cost of their meal and a tip. The next day, the girl comes back in and asks if we’re hiring.)

A Significant Degree Of Stupidity

, , , , , | Working | November 17, 2018

I work in a coffee shop in a very student-heavy town. We are known globally for the standard of our students. The coffee shop is attached to a bar, so when the cafe closes, the bar opens, and we often clear the bar area in the mornings.

I get assigned a new coworker who is a student at the local university. On his first day, he has his safety talk and induction. On the second day, I have to remind him that taking a tray out of the 200-degree oven with your bare hands is not a good idea, as it will hurt. This lesson has to be repeated every day until it is decided he isn’t safe near the oven.

On the next week, he and I are on opening duties, so we have to clear the bar area. I take all the dregs and put them in a jug; as I am clearing I put the jug on the side. This brain box decides to try and drink the dregs, is promptly sick, and is sent home.

After this and similar instances of brainlessness, he is let go from the company. Can’t say I miss the walking disaster.

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