H2-Slow To Realize, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | August 16, 2017

(I run and independent coffee shop on a very busy city centre street. We are known for our hearty and healthy food as well as home-baking and decent coffee. We also have a pretty strict “no outside food” policy. Our stuff is so good, so why would we let people bring their own stuff in? One day I arrive to find we have no water. I call the water board and they say that a pipe has burst in the area but that they are fixing it. The water, however, has been turned off in the area… maybe a mile radius. I put signs up saying explaining this and apologising, but we are still able to serve food, just no hot drinks or tap water. A couple come in for breakfast and see the signs, but I still explain the situation. She orders orange juice with her breakfast. He, however, doesn’t seem to get it.)

Man: “Just a filter coffee, please!”

Me: “I’m really sorry but due to the no water thing, I can only do cold drinks.”

Man “Oh, right. So… just a tea?”

Me: “Again, no water. I have bottles of iced tea?”

Man: *scoffing* “So you’re saying that your coffee shop has no coffee?!”

Me: “Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying. No water, in a mile wide radius. Really sorry about this but they are working on the burst pipe!”

Man: “Well, there’s a [Huge International Coffee Chain] on the corner. Can I go and get one of their coffees and bring it back?”

Me: *knowing they have no water either but still trying to be polite and nice* “Sure thing. If they are able to make coffee, you’re welcome to bring it back.”

(The man left, quite smugly, only to return moments later, empty handed. Apparently they had no water either. Something about a burst pipe in the area…)

I’ll Have What She’s Having

, , , | Right | August 16, 2017

Customer: “Excuse me, is it true that your hot chocolate can induce orgasms?”

Me: “Umm, I don’t think so.”

Customer: “Have you had it?”

Me: “Yes, and no, it didn’t induce a… you know.”

Customer: *pointing to her friend* “[Friend] here says she has an orgasm every time she has your hot chocolate. Isn’t that right, [Friend]?”

Friend: *blushing and whispering* “No! I said I like it so much every time I have it that I could orgasm!”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I’ll just have a coffee, then.”

Hot And Bothered

| Surrey, England, UK | Right | August 3, 2017

(I’m making a woman’s order of about four drinks. I’m just finishing the last drink which is a hot chocolate and she is watching me steam the milk.)

Customer: “Do you use hot or cold milk for your hot chocolate?”

Me: *confused* “Sorry?”

Customer: “Do you use hot or cold milk for the hot chocolate?”

Me: “Umm, we make the HOT chocolate with HOT milk.”

Customer: *sounding vaguely disappointed* “Oh, okay.”

(I still have no idea what she meant.)

That Was Their Grande Scheme

| NB, Canada | Right | July 19, 2017

(I’m a barista at a popular cafe where we use Italian names for our drink sizes. Grande is our medium size, and I have been trained to suggestively sell grande size. This happens a few times a day.)

Customer: “I’ll have a coffee.”

Me: “Sure, will that be grande size?” *holds up grande cup so customer can see what size it is*

Customer: “No.”

Me: *waits for customer to clarify for a few seconds before…* “What size would you like?”

Customer: *points at cup in my hand* “That one. The medium.”

Me: “Grande it is!”

A Student Of Résumés

| Wales, UK | Working | July 18, 2017

(I graduated a little over a year prior to this story, and have recently moved back to my university town to live with my fiancé who is still studying, so I’m looking for a job. I see a sign in a window for waitressing and submit my CV, which has my degree, when I graduated, and work history, including the full time job I held last. My personal statement also mentions my time at the university. I get called in for interview.)

Interviewer: “Hi, [My Name], thank you for coming.”

Me: “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to interview.”

Interviewer: “So, what experience do you have in this area?”

Me: “I worked in [Cafe] in Bristol full time last year where my duties included cleaning, making coffee, and preparing sandwiches. I was split between two of their branches and a key holder for both.”

Interviewer: “That’s brilliant. And do you have your timetable yet?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what timetable?”

Interviewer: “Your lecture timetable.”

Me: “I’m not a student. I graduated from [University] last year.”

Interviewer: “Oh, okay. Well, this job is only really suitable for student’s. We’re only offering 6-8 hours a week, you know.”

(Nowhere on the ‘job vacancy’ sign in the window did it say this.)

Me: “You’re right, that doesn’t suit me. Thank you anyway.”

Interviewer: “You really should put that you aren’t a student on your CV in this town. It would have saved both of us wasting our time.”

(What I wanted to point out was that I did, and that maybe putting the hours on the sign, or at least that it’s part time, would be a good idea too. But I bit my tongue, smiled and left. My next interview went better; they actually read my CV for one thing.)

Page 5/45First...34567...Last
« Previous
Next »