Providing Customer Service Is Racist

, , , | Right | January 29, 2018

Me: “Hi, welcome in. What brings you in today?”

(The customer walks up to me with her hand in my face. I have never seen this woman before in my life.)

Customer: “Stop. Don’t do that! I don’t want anybody following me around the store! I just want to look! If I buy, I buy. Now, I am going to walk to the back, and I don’t want you going back there with me!”

Me: *confused* “Okay…”

(The customer backs away slowly, then heads to the back. I have not moved from my spot, and continue to face towards the door. Meanwhile, my manager sees the woman in clearance by herself a few minutes later.)

Manager: “Hi, ma’am. Do you need help finding anything?”

Customer: “I am so sick and tired of everyone following me around. That girl—” *pointing at me* “—has been following me around since I got here. And she keeps asking me unnecessary questions!”

(I have not moved from the front of the store.)

Manager: “Okay, ma’am. I’m sorry you feel that way. It is our job to provide you customer service and make sure you find everything you need.”

Customer: “I don’t want none of that! I’ve been to your other store, and they didn’t say a word to me! They left me alone the entire time! I come in here, and she talks to me and follows me around the store! And now you come talk to me! Y’all are racist! I just want to be left alone. What is your corporate number?”

(We got a corporate complaint the next day that our associates were asking her too many personal questions, and that we treated her differently because of her race.)

This Questionnaire Is Murder

, , , , | Working | January 29, 2018

(I’m at an interview for a job with a multi-step interview process. The first step is an automated questionnaire with standard “yes/no” interview questions to fill in some background information on the applicant. One section involves felonies and misdemeanors, including this gem:)

Interview Question: “In the past ten years, have you ever murdered anyone?”

A Different Kind Of Crab Mentality

, , , , | Right | January 28, 2018

(I work in an office, booking spa days and treatments for a large UK chain.)

Request: “Does [Owner] do the massages? I’d like him to dress up as a crab. I have made an outfit out of heavy-duty rubber and plastic. [Owner] can wear this. There are eyeholes to see out of, and levers and pulleys inside the pincers so that they can be operated. The crab costume is painted professionally in the correct colors so that it will look like an actual crab, albeit a very big one. I will also need three hazelnuts placed on a south facing window-sill during my massage, and the Nicaraguan national anthem playing on a trumpet.”

(Needless to say, they did not get this request!)

The High Cost Of Housing

, , , , | Working | January 27, 2018

(I am looking for a new house and decide to enquire with a new set of houses being built locally.)

Me: “Hi, I was wondering if you could give me some information on your houses. I may be interested in buying.”

Worker: “I’m sorry. We aren’t accepting new residents at the moment.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Worker: *looking shifty* “I’m really sorry, sir.”

Me: “No, it’s all right—”

Worker: *leaning down* “I genuinely am sorry for the inconvenience—”

(A small siren sounds and she runs for a door behind her. I assume she pressed a panic alarm. I’m shocked enough that I stand there for a few seconds, looking around, wondering what’s happening. A security guard appears and walks up to me shaking his head. He walks by and leans over the desk. The siren stops and he turns to me.)

Guard: “Sorry about that. She’s my sister-in-law, and she’s high as a f****** kite. Probably best to try again next week.”

(He escorted me out and I agreed to come back later. When bumped into him again, the guard told me that he reported the worker and she was promptly dismissed. It pretty much ruined his relationship with his family, but he seemed quite happy about it. I ended up getting a house, and I move in next month.)

Sinking Your Teeth Into A Brief Encounter

, , , , | Friendly | January 27, 2018

(There is a neighborhood party going on in a park near a group of residences. A tired-looking man is crossing through before suddenly stopping near a kid and her parent.)

Man: “Here, have this.” *hands out a lollipop*

Kid: “Oh, thank—”

Mother: “Oh, you’ll have to brush your teeth after that!”

Man: “That’s okay. Here!” *hands out a small tube of toothpaste*

Kid: *speechless*

Man: “I work at a dentist’s office. Have a nice party, and remember: take care of your teeth!”

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