The gas station I work for still lets customers pump and then pay inside after. Because we’re the last gas station that does this, the drive-off reporting company we sent drive-off forms to went out of business. When customers drive off, we lose that money for good unless they return.

With the enormous rise of gas prices with inflation, people have been going to the end pumps, being authorized to pump, and then driving off after. The manager we have now made the wise choice to make all end pumps PREPAY OR PAY AT PUMP ONLY. At night, all pumps are prepay, and there are signs stating this. 

One night, after dark, a lady pulls up to the end pump and asks to be authorized. I respond over the intercom.

Me: “Pump 1, all pumps are prepay after dark.”

She continues trying to be authorized. I use the intercom again.

Me: “Pump 1, pump 1, all pumps are prepay after dark.”

I then see her stepping in front of her SUV and then giving up, hanging the nozzle up, and driving away.

Moments later, another customer comes in.

Customer: “I heard that girl out there yelling, ‘I can’t bring my card inside!’”

I don’t think she was going to pay, anyway. if you need gas, you find a way to get help with it.

Our store is in the mall, and we have a tiny employee-only bathroom in the back office. It isn’t available to the public, but every once and a while we’ll get someone doing the pee-dance who can’t make it to the public restroom a few hundred feet away.

A woman comes in and uses the restroom, and then:

Customer: “I’m going to have to demand a discount on my DVDs.”

Me: “Why is that, ma’am?”

Customer: “The soap in your bathroom made my hands smell like flowers. I hate when my hands smell like flowers. You need to offer a citrus soap option to your customers!”

Me: “Well, that’s not a public restroom, so we can choose whatever soap we like. None of this has any bearing on your DVD purchase.”

She didn’t care. After a few more minutes of this nonsense, my spineless manager just gave her a 10% discount to get her out of the store for a whopping savings of $3.50.

It’s a pretty busy night, especially for pizzas. It’s clear to customers ordering at the counter that we have our hands full. Two women come in with two kids: a young boy and a girl. They order two specialty pizzas and only those two pizzas. They say they will be dining in, and the kids are commenting about how hungry they are.

Me: “It will be just a bit of a wait, but we will bring the pizzas out as soon as they’re ready.”

The women sit within eyesight of our pizza maker and the oven. They can see the cooks and the pizzas coming in and out of the oven.

Again, it’s a pretty hectic night and it isn’t hard to overlook something and make a small mistake. Our pizza maker misreads their ticket for their order and thinks it’s to-go, so he has two pizza boxes open and ready to put them in. He takes them out of the oven, slides them each into a box, and puts them on top of the oven.

WITHIN THIRTY SECONDS of this happening, one of the women approaches the counter and gets the pizza guy’s attention.

Customer #1: “This is my ticket number. Are those our pizzas?”

Pizza Maker: “My sincerest apologies. I’ll bring those right out.”

Customer #1: “Okay, that’s fine.”

She sits back down. The pizza maker gets out two stands and trays and put the pizzas on them, still piping hot and delicious and melty. Even my mouth is watering. Another server and I carry both pizzas out and set them on their table, and the kids are so excited that the food is there and reach out for it.

The other lady pushes their hands back.

Customer #2: *To the children* “Wait.”

I watch her sit there and poke the pizza with her fingers.

Me: “Is everything okay?”

Customer #2: *In the b****iest tone* “Um, yeah… we’re not going to eat these.”

Me: “May I ask why?”

Customer #2: “Because they’re going to taste like box now.”

I can’t believe it. I ask her to clarify what’s wrong because I can’t really comprehend that she’s actually saying this.

Customer #2: “The pizzas are both going to taste like cardboard because they’ve been in a box.”

They were not even in the boxes for thirty seconds. She didn’t even bother to taste them. The kids started crying and asking her to keep them, but she demanded that I take them back and remake them. I had to grit my teeth and bring them back, and they made those kids wait another twenty minutes for the pizzas because by that time, there were even more pizza orders our pizza guy had to get to.

I couldn’t believe how snooty they were. Hundreds of pizzas are made to go daily and picked up in boxes and enjoyed at home. How could you possibly believe being in one for not even a minute destroys it?

Customer: “Can you break this pack of cube steak down? I only need two-thirds of a pound.”

Me: “No problem!”

I break it down as requested.

Me: “Here ya go. It’s .68 of a pound.”

Customer: “I wanted two-thirds of a pound.”

Me: “Two-thirds is .66; this is .68.”

The customer looks disappointed and shrugs.

Customer: “That’s okay. I guess we’ll just have leftovers.”

I am a cook at a restaurant, just working my station like every other night. A ticket comes up for pasta, a steak well-done, and a club sandwich — nothing out of the ordinary. Then, the server comes up.

Server: “Hey, [My Name], the guy at [table] wants his steak extra well done.”

All right, sure. Throw the steak on, check the temp and the squishiness, and everything seems in order. Order up!

Five minutes later, the steak comes back.

Server: “Hey, [My Name], he says it’s not well done enough.”

I take a look at the steak where the customer cut into it. It’s brown all the way through. I shrug it off and add five more minutes on the grill. I cut it open in another spot, ensuring that it is brown all the way through and all flavor has escaped this ruined piece of meat. Order up!

It comes back right away.

Server: “He still says it’s not well done enough.”

All right, motherf*****, into the deep fryer it goes. After a few minutes in the deep fryer, I pat it down with a paper towel. Order up!

The server comes back.

Server: “Hey, he said it was the best steak he ever had.”

What?