I swapped jobs quite recently. I’m now at a solid divey spot in my city. They have great food and great staff. Everything’s great… but the one thing I cannot stand about working here is the number of people who think their infant does not qualify as a minor. I live in Canada, and the legal age in my province is eighteen.

We’re licensed as a bar, so we have a BIG sign on the door that says, “No minors.” When we seat incomplete parties or take reservations over the phone, we make sure and ask:

Us: “Hey, everybody in your group is eighteen, right?”

The number of people we get strolling in with double-decker strollers and a toddler on each hip is astounding.

Customer #1: “They’re really well-behaved!”

That’s awesome. Still no minors

Customer #2: “She’ll be eighteen in a week.”

Well, happy early birthday! Still no minors.

Customer #3: “Does my newborn count? He’s sleeping!”

Aw, sleepy guy. Still no minors.

“No minors” means NO MINORS. NONE. ZERO. If they cannot LEGALLY PURCHASE A BEER, they’re not allowed. End of story, morning glory.

I wanna SCREAM.

I work for a chain bar and restaurant that gives free refill coffee when you purchase your first cup. Today, whilst serving, I have a woman order a coffee. I know she is going to be trouble; she orders her drink whilst I’m standing in front of her pouring a pint for another customer whilst two more are waiting patiently. The foot starts tapping, and then the huffing and harumphing start.

As I pass over her cup, so she can finally get her coffee:

Customer: “This cup is cold; it should be hot.”

Me: “Sorry, all our cups are cold unless they’ve just come out of the wash.”

Customer: “I always have a hot mug; my coffee will go cold.”

We don’t have a limit on how many refills you get on your coffee or what sort of hot drink you choose, including hot water for tea.

Me: “You could put some hot water in it first to warm it up if you wish.”

Customer: “It’s common sense to serve coffee in a hot mug.”

So, I’m meant to keep all my mugs hot, just for her? Does she keep her mugs hot at home, ready for when she wants a brew? Or is she like everyone else (with common sense) who uses a cold cup and drinks it quick enough for it not to go cold in the first place?

Related:
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 7
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 6
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 5
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 4
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 3

I manage a twenty-four-hour bar in Sin City. We have a lot of screens around the bar playing all kinds of different sports. Today, however, the main screen is playing the Eurovision Song Contest, since I am a huge fan, and hey, it’s my bar. Also, it’s the only place in the city, as far as I am aware, that’s showing the competition. I advertised this on social media and a small group has gathered to enjoy the competition.

Some vacationing “bros” come in, and before they’ve even ordered a drink:

Customer: “Get this gay s*** off the big screen! We’re here to watch the baseball!”

Me: *Pointing* “All the screens in that area are playing today’s baseball games.”

Customer: “We want it on the big screen!”

Me: “The big screen is reserved for Eurovision for now. You can switch it to baseball after.”

Customer: “F*** this Euro crap! It’s a bunch of fairies in tights singing some Russian s***.”

They glance at the screen and notice that the country being represented right there and then is Australia; they were invited as guests this year.

Customer: “That’s not even Europe! That’s f****** Australia! This thing is a joke!”

Me: “And how many countries are represented in your World Series?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Exactly. Your game is playing. Staying or going?”

They stayed and watched their game, grumbling the whole time. I can’t remember who they were rooting for, but they lost.

I’m working the bar when two younger-looking men come up. [Customer #1] is visibly older than [Customer #2].

Customer #1: “I’ll have [Drink].”

Customer #2: “Same here.”

Me: “ID, please.”

They procure their driver’s licenses without a fuss, laying them on the counter for me. [Customer #]1’s ID is valid and shows him to be of age; however, [Customer #2]’s ID is expired.

Me: *To [Customer #2]* “I’m sorry, this is expired. I can’t serve you.”

Customer #2: “Oh, come on. It doesn’t change how old I am!”

Me: “It doesn’t matter. Your ID has to be up-to-date to be valid. You can order something non-alcoholic, or you can…”

I trail off as I look at his license again. Then, I look at [Customer #1]’s license and realize the name and date of birth are identical on both.

Customer #1: “Well, that’s bulls***. What, it’s expired, so you have to assume he’s eight years younger than he says?”

Me: “Not necessarily, Mr. [Full Name on the ID].” *To [Customer #2]* “Or is that you?”

The two realized their trick was up, seized their licenses, and fled the bar. I’d often wondered myself why an ID had to be up-to-date to be considered valid, but now I know why — the two looked similar enough that the out-of-date license genuinely looked like [Customer #2]!

I’m definitely not the best bartender or manager but I’d say I do a good job. Over the past three years, I’ve worked at three different bars and hotels ranging from cocktail bartender to assistant bar manager. I’ve ended up leaving all three because of low pay, poor working conditions, and being treated like I’m dispensable when I’ve been literally holding the bar together

I’ve now just started doing agency work, and out of the twelve places currently offering agency jobs, three are my old places. One is so desperate for staff that they’re offering £15 an hour (UK) for a “glass collector and table clearer”.

I accept a shift there, and I can’t wait to walk in and have them pay me £15 an hour for collecting glasses. I was a bar supervisor there for £9.50 an hour and they told me they couldn’t increase my wage eighteen months ago.

When I go back, my two old managers are there and welcome me back with open arms. We have a good catch-up. Although I’m just there to collect glasses collector and clear tables, I end up doing the bar as a favour.

I end up working with a lot of my old colleagues, but they are severely understaffed and I kind of feel sorry for them as I was there for seven years. They made 60% of the workforce redundant a few months ago due to the health crisis (even though they could have kept them on furlough), and now that everywhere has opened, they are in the s***.

I do really well on the shift, and I am supposed to be booked in for the next day.

I get a message in the morning before my shift (5:00 pm to 12:00 am) from my old manager. She had a meeting with the assistant general manager about me being back, and they’ve decided to cancel me for tonight’s shift and block me from all future shifts.

The funny thing is that they can’t cancel agency staff with less than twenty-four hours of notice, so they still have to pay me!