(Every Saturday, I work as a professional cosplayer at an anime store inside the largest mall in town. I work with five other girls, and our job is to stand in the windows and wave to people while wearing elaborate costumes. One day at the end of my shift, a woman passes by my window and glares at me. A few minutes later, I see her enter the store and ask for my manager.)
Woman: “What are they doing in the windows?”
Manager: “Every Saturday is cosplay day; our models wear their best costumes and pose in the windows.”
Woman: *going red in the face* “They are ruining the view in the mall!”
Manager: “Excuse me?”
Woman: “These harlots are ruining my view! I will never shop here again. I hope you go out of business and burn in hell!”
Manager: *pause* “Have a great day, miss!”
(Needless to say, the woman had to be escorted out. To this day, I still wonder what “the view in the mall” is.)
(I work in a casino in Las Vegas, a city famous for its casinos… and prostitutes. A guy walks up with a group of friends and starts talking to me. He says I am beautiful, asks what my sign is, and informs me that he “won big at the casino and is moving to Vegas.” I am unimpressed.)
Me: “Winning big can mean many things. One thousand dollars is winning big.”
Guy: *laughs* “Would a thousand dollars change your life?”
(I ponder my upcoming phone bill, and rent, and union dues, so, yes, a thousand dollars would change my life for about a month.)
Guy: “If I gave you a thousand dollars, could I f*** you?”
Me: “I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE!” *walks away*
(He tried to apologize, and his friends told him to just leave me alone. He claimed I “misunderstood.” No, I understood, and I am not for sale!)
While working security one night I was sent up to a guest’s room who was having an allergic reaction. I arrive and the man is in a pretty bad way. He has his shirt off, his chest is covered with hives and his throat is closing so fast he can’t speak and soon may not even be able to breathe. I call for the paramedics and they arrive fairly quickly. They give the man a shot and his allergy symptoms begin to quickly get better. When he can finally speak, one paramedic asks if the man is allergic to any kind of food. The man admits he’s severely allergic to shellfish. The paramedic then asks if the man has eaten any shellfish lately. The man then says, “I just came back from a seafood buffet and ate a lot of it because it doesn’t count when you’re in Vegas.”
So many people see the city slogan “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” and think Las Vegas is some kind of negative zone where anything you do doesn’t effect real life.
(I am a 20-year-old female with facial piercings. I am fortunate enough to find a job as an office assistant for a realty company. One day, two men come in to pay rent, ask questions, etc. My back is turned to them as I am filing some paperwork. My boss has come up front to answer their questions. Mind you, she is a small female, and both of these men are large, tatted, and bearded. I finish filing while they are still there, and I turn around. The younger of the two looks genuinely surprised at my appearance and looks at my boss.)
Man #1: “Hey, do you guys have complaint or commendation papers?”
Boss: “Not here, but we do on our website. Is there something wrong that I can help you with?”
Man #1: “No, I just think it’s freaking awesome that you guys hired someone with alternative style!”
(My boss looks very confused. [Man #2] is now laughing.)
Man #1: *points at me* “Her piercings! I think it’s cool that you hired someone with them; most people don’t!”
Boss: *chuckles* “Who am I to tell her what the f*** to wear and how to dress? She’s fine the way she is!”
(I love my boss.)
Related:
Piercing Observation, Part 3
Piercing Observation, Part 2
Piercing Observation
(I work as a cab driver in Las Vegas. While I have a fair share of stupid customers, this one really takes the cake. I accept the radio call telling me to pick up a passenger at the public bus depot downtown. As I am on my way there, I call the customer to verify where I am picking them up. It is near sunset.)
Passenger: “I’m standing at [Street] and [Wrong Street Name].”
Me: “Do you mean [Correct Street Name]? That puts you on the east side of the building. I can only pick you up on [Street], on the west side of the building.”
Passenger: “Well, I just moved here and don’t know where that is.”
Me: “It’s on the west side of the building.”
Passenger: “I don’t know which direction that is.”
Me: *proceeds to pull over and slam forehead onto steering wheel*
