Cosplay Is Here To Stay

, , , , | | Right | May 22, 2018

(Every Saturday, I work as a professional cosplayer at an anime store inside the largest mall in town. I work with five other girls, and our job is to stand in the windows and wave to people while wearing elaborate costumes. One day at the end of my shift, a woman passes by my window and glares at me. A few minutes later, I see her enter the store and ask for my manager.)

Woman: “What are they doing in the windows?”

Manager: “Every Saturday is cosplay day; our models wear their best costumes and pose in the windows.”

Woman: *going red in the face* “They are ruining the view in the mall!”

Manager: “Excuse me?”

Woman: “These harlots are ruining my view! I will never shop here again. I hope you go out of business and burn in hell!”

Manager: *pause* “Have a great day, miss!”

(Needless to say, the woman had to be escorted out. To this day, I still wonder what “the view in the mall” is.)

A Thousand Reasons To Kick You Out Right Now

, , , , , | Romantic | May 13, 2018

(I work in a casino in Las Vegas, a city famous for its casinos… and prostitutes. A guy walks up with a group of friends and starts talking to me. He says I am beautiful, asks what my sign is, and informs me that he “won big at the casino and is moving to Vegas.” I am unimpressed.)

Me: “Winning big can mean many things. One thousand dollars is winning big.”

Guy: *laughs* “Would a thousand dollars change your life?”

(I ponder my upcoming phone bill, and rent, and union dues, so, yes, a thousand dollars would change my life for about a month.)

Guy: “If I gave you a thousand dollars, could I f*** you?”

Me: “I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE!” *walks away*

(He tried to apologize, and his friends told him to just leave me alone. He claimed I “misunderstood.” No, I understood, and I am not for sale!)

Unfiltered Story #109647

, , | Unfiltered | April 30, 2018

While working security one night I was sent up to a guest’s room who was having an allergic reaction.  I arrive and the man is in a pretty bad way.  He has his shirt off, his chest is covered with hives and his throat is closing so fast he can’t speak and soon may not even be able to breathe.  I call for the paramedics and they arrive fairly quickly.  They give the man a shot and his allergy symptoms begin to quickly get better.  When he can finally speak, one paramedic asks if the man is allergic to any kind of food.  The man admits he’s severely allergic to shellfish.  The paramedic then asks if the man has eaten any shellfish lately.  The man then says, “I just came back from a seafood buffet and ate a lot of it because it doesn’t count when you’re in Vegas.”

So many people see the city slogan “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” and think Las Vegas is some kind of negative zone where anything you do doesn’t effect real life.

It Isn’t The Wild West Anymore

, , , , | Right | April 12, 2018

(I work as a cab driver in Las Vegas. While I have a fair share of stupid customers, this one really takes the cake. I accept the radio call telling me to pick up a passenger at the public bus depot downtown. As I am on my way there, I call the customer to verify where I am picking them up. It is near sunset.)

Passenger: “I’m standing at [Street] and [Wrong Street Name].”

Me: “Do you mean [Correct Street Name]? That puts you on the east side of the building. I can only pick you up on [Street], on the west side of the building.”

Passenger: “Well, I just moved here and don’t know where that is.”

Me: “It’s on the west side of the building.”

Passenger: “I don’t know which direction that is.”

Me: *proceeds to pull over and slam forehead onto steering wheel*

When Attendants Are Very Attendant

, , , , | Hopeless | April 2, 2018

(My husband and I are flying home from our vacation. I’m a nervous flyer, and turbulence elevates my anxiety, big-time. Sure enough, our plane hits some turbulence. I close my eyes and start counting to 1000 in my head; for some reason, that seems to help. My husband holds my right hand to comfort me. A minute or so later, someone else grasps my left hand.)

Me: “Eh?” *opens eyes*

Flight Attendant: “Are you okay?” *lets go of my hand*

Me: “I’m a little nervous.”

Flight Attendant: “Look at me. If I’m not scared, you don’t have to be. Read your book; you’ll be fine.”

(And I was. I wrote a letter to the airline later, giving them her name and the flight number, telling them how awesome she is. I hope she got a raise.)

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