Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 3

I work as a manager at a fusion bar/restaurant in a very affluent area and, understandably, this means we get some incredibly entitled people with very strange complaints or requests — especially from the “old money” types who swing by.

I’m managing a dinner shift one night. Our first question when diners are seated is whether they’d like chilled tap water or a bottle of sparkling water from the bar chiller. It’s a warm summer night and we’ve just sat an older couple on the porch area of our venue and poured out two glasses of the sparkling water they requested.

Server: “Umm, the lady from the couple we seated just dropped her glass of sparkling water and wants us to replace it and speak with you.”

I fill a water glass of soda water and head over. I spot the lady with an obviously confused frown on her face. The offending spilled water has already been wiped from herself and the table, and the broken glass has been cleared away.

Me: “Hi there. I’ve just got a replacement for the sparkling water you dropped. Is everything all right?”

Customer: “Absolutely not! Your glasses are just far too slippery! I just went to take a sip and it just slipped from my hand. Completely unacceptable.”

Me: “Oh? Slippery? As in greasy? I’m so sorry, that is completely unaccepta—”

Customer: “No, no, no! It wasn’t greasy! It was just covered in water! Look at the one you’ve just put down! It’s already covered in water!”

She points to the chilled soda water I’ve placed on her table that has slowly begun to form condensation.

Me: “You mean the condensation on the outside of the glass?”

Customer: “Yes, of course!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s a warm evening and our glasses are room temperature. Our tap and sparkling water are kept chilled and of course, condensation will occur on the outside of the glass. Would you prefer a room temperature bottle of water, instead?”

Customer: *Makes a disgusted face* “Warm water?! No, of course not! It’s been such a hot day! I just don’t understand why the glasses are wet!”

This was the exact moment that I died inside.

I then spent five minutes briefly explaining the laws of thermodynamics to a lady in her late sixties while her poor husband watched in silence. In the end, she still didn’t seem to understand and didn’t touch her water for the remainder of her dining experience but seemed happy to take multiple, uneventful sips of her chilled glass of Pinot Gris which was, of course, covered in condensation.

Related:
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 2
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here