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Booze Is Blamed When There Is No Proof

, , , | Right | February 15, 2010

Caller: “Why has my insurance been canceled?”

Me: “Well, it looks like you have made six car claims in the last four months.”

Caller: “Yeah, I had some accidents.”

Me: “That is why we can no longer insure you. It’s written in our policy statements.”

Caller: “Bull! None of those accidents were my fault!”

Me: “It says here that you drove the vehicle into a tree twice, and the oth–”

Caller: “Like I said, it wasn’t MY fault! It was the alcohol’s fault!”


This story is part of the Ignorant-About-Insurance roundup!

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This One’s A No-Brainer

, , , , | Right | February 13, 2010

Customer: “My mother is taking some medication and it is making her sick. Can you stop giving it to her?”

Me: “I’ll have to ask the pharmacist for you. What medication is it?”

Customer: “It’s a little white pill.”

Me: “You don’t know the name of it, sir? We do have many white pills in the pharmacy.”

Customer: “I think it’s for her heart… or her brain.”


This story is part of our Pharmacy Roundup!

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Burn Me Twice, Flame On Me

, , , | Right | February 10, 2010

(Note: I’m a customer and overhear this conversation.)

Worker: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “I bought this garlic bread, and I burnt my hands and my mouth.”

Worker: “Oh, how did you burn both?”

Customer: “It was too hot in my hands, so I put it in my mouth…”


This story is part of our Garlic roundup!

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Not Quite Three-Thinking

, , , | Right | January 31, 2010

(We have the top ten DVD/Blu-Rays on a wall. We use an empty case with a number on it to show where each film is ranked in the top ten. A man walks up and puts the number ‘3’ case on the counter.)

Customer: “I’d like to hire this.”

Me: “This isn’t a movie. Star Trek is currently ranked number 3. Would you like to rent that?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want Star Trek! I want this one!”

Me: “Sorry, that is just an empty case that we use to show our top ten rentals; it isn’t a film. If you’d like to rent one of our top ten make sure you grab one of the take-home cases behind the display cases.”

(The man seems to catch on, returns to the shelf and walks back with one of the generic DVD cases we use to chock up the number ‘3’ case so it sits flush with the other DVDs).

Customer: “There! Now will you let me rent it?”


This story is part of the Movie Rental roundup!

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Defeats The Porpoise

, , , , , , | Right | January 27, 2010

Child: “Mister, how do the waves work?” *points to wave pool*

Me: “There are big machines out the back that make the waves, mate.”

Child: “But my daddy says there are dolphins in cages that make the waves.”

Me: “Sorry, buddy, no dolphins.”

(Ten minutes later…)

Father: “You told my son there aren’t any dolphins.”

Me: “There aren’t.”

Father: “This is false advertising! Where are the dolphins?! I was told there were dolphins!”

Me: “Nope, no dolphins.”

Father: *brief silence* “How about whales?”