An Open-Closed Case

, , , , | Right | May 8, 2020

I own an alternative gift and book shop, open six days a week, including Sunday. I can see the front windows and door from where I usually sit. And this scenario happens every. Single. Sunday.

People look in the front window. All the lights are on. I have a sandwich board out on the sidewalk which people look at. There is a bright yellow “OPEN” sign hanging on the door, just above the “Opening Hours” sign, which also states that we are open. I will often catch people’s eyes from where I sit behind the counter and wave at them, saying loudly, “Come in; we’re open!”

For some reason, at that point, they back away, saying, “Sorry, we thought you were open.”

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Unfiltered Story #193797

, , | Unfiltered | May 5, 2020

So I volunteer at a charity store, that is actually really big. We sell furniture, brick a brack and clothes etc. At the rear of the store is a set of big red doors clearly marked: staff only (with multiple large and obvious signs).

For the third time in one day, a customer came out the back, and started browsing through plastic bags and bins of unpriced goods as if she didn’t have a care in the world.

My manager for the day had had enough. So when the woman noticed us sorting merchandise, she started to say “hey-”

And my manager just pointed and said, “get the f**k out.”

Both their expressions were priceless!

Unfiltered Story #191930

, , | Unfiltered | April 14, 2020

I volunteered at an opportunity shop for over a year. One time, we had a regular custom – a former microbiologist we all got on well with, a very quiet old man. He is looking at our second hand books, knelt over to see the lower shelves.

A mid-20s guy walks in, barefoot, and looks at the books as well. The older man doesn’t see him and moves to look at a particular book that is in front of the other man, but because the old man is leaning over, it doesn’t block mid-20s guy looking at a book up high.

Mid-20s guy suddenly turns to the old man and yells “You’re a f—‘ing idiot! Can’t you see I’m looking!” He then turns to me and my co-worker. “You have f—-ing rude customers! Can’t you control them!?” and marches out of the store.

A-Wrist-ed Development

, , , , | Related | December 26, 2019

(My brother and I have just received identical smartwatches as Christmas gifts from our parents.)

Me: “Oh, yours is the same. How will we tell them apart?”

Brother: “Mine will be the one on my wrist…”

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Unfiltered Story #179117

, , , | Unfiltered | December 8, 2019

I answer the phone: Hello [pizza place name] how can I help you?
Customer: I’d like a party.
Me: Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.
Customer: A party.
Me: Like a kids party in store?
Customer: Yes.
Me: I’m sorry, we don’t do kids parties.
Customer: What do you mean? You must do them!
Me: We do not do kids parties. Our customer area has a small bench and two stools. We simply don’t have the space to do a party.
Customer: Well what am I supposed to do for my kids birthday then?
Me: hold on a moment
*I consult the manager, who is as surprised about the situation as I am. We conclude that one of the stores in the next suburb would have space if they wanted to do a kids party*
Me: We can’t do anything but the store in X suburb would have enough space. I can give you their number and you could ask them if you like?
Customer: Oh, well I’ll just keep calling around then.
Me: Yep, would you like that store’s phone number so you can call them?
Customer: Nah, I’ll just keep calling around.
Me: yes, but while you are calling around do you want the number for that store?
Customer: Nah, goodnight.
Me: Ok, well I’m sorry we couldn’t help you more.
Customer hangs up.