Stay At This Motel For A Banging Time!

, , , , | | Legal | August 17, 2019

(I’m a guest in a motel. I’ve already been woken up by loud people twice, so when I’m woken again at 3:30 am by someone banging loudly for over five minutes, I’m really unimpressed, to say the least. I’m on the first floor, while the noise is coming from a room on the opposite side on the third floor. I cannot see who’s knocking. I go out for a cigarette while the banging’s still happening.)

Me: “Shut the f*** up.”

(Three police officers stick their heads over the balcony.)

Officer #1: “Sorry about this.”

Me: “Ah, oops. Sorry, I didn’t know it was you guys, but it is after 3:30.”

Officer #2: “Sorry, but if we have to kick the door in it will be even louder.”

Me: “Do what you need to do. Thanks for letting me know.”

(I finish my smoke and go inside. Luckily, the noise stops and I’m able to sleep. When I get up, I find a plastic bag on my door with some chocolate, a gift card to a coffee shop, and a note.)

Note: “Sorry for the disturbance. Enjoy the chocolate and coffee. [Officers].”

(I found out from the manager that a woman was hiding her boyfriend who was wanted for armed robbery and sexual assault. They’d put a wardrobe and table in front of the door and refused to come out. Luckily, he gave up and surrendered without too much fuss.)

They Got A Score Of Less Than Ten

, , , , , | | Right | August 7, 2019

(I work at a homeware store and our policy is that we do not refund for a change of mind; however, the customer may exchange for another item. We also offer store credit, where we put their amount onto a gift card exclusive to our store; however, we can only do this if the value is over $10. A lady comes up to the counter with two items and a receipt, clearly indicating some form of a return.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I just want to return these; I don’t have any use for them.”

(I make sure the items are still in their original packaging and haven’t been used, and I also check the receipt for their prices.)

Me: “Yup, everything seems fine, and it comes to a total of $6.00! Were you planning on doing any shopping today?”

Customer: “No, I’ll just take the amount back onto my card.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we actually don’t do refunds for a change of mind, and the items are less than $10, so—”

Customer:What? Where does it say this? No one has ever told me this!”

Me: *points to the large, white sign taped to the counter, then to her receipt* “It’s right there on the counter and also written on your receipt. We’ve always had this policy.”

Customer: “You can’t do this! I know my rights as a customer! I have a right to a refund!”

Me: “We’re not required to give refunds. We do usually offer store credit, but because the amount is less than—”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll just take store credit, then.”

Me: *trying to keep my cool* “Unfortunately, we can only process store credit for a value over $10. Your total is less than that, so I cannot give it to you in this case.”

Customer: *clearly frustrated* “WHY?”

Me: “The amount goes onto one of our gift cards, and they can only be validated with a value over $10.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You can’t just force people to spend their money like this! I demand you give me a refund!”

(My supervisor overhears this conversation and comes over.)

Supervisor: “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “You’re refusing me a refund! This is absurd! It’s only $6.00! If you’re not going to give me credit, I don’t see the point of buying something right away if I’m not going to have a use for it!”

Supervisor: *rolls her eyes at me, knowing I’ve already explained everything to the lady* “Yeah, it’s fine; just give her the refund.”

(I sigh and go and get the paperwork. I spend several minutes filling out all the details, have her sign it, and then go to process the refund.)

Me: “Okay, so that’s $6.00 back onto your card. Just tap it when you’re ready, and it will just ask for your PIN.”

(The lady presses the card to the machine and then places it back in her purse and stands there quietly for a few moments, waiting.)

Me: “So, it’s just going to need your PIN.”

Customer: “What? Why? It’s a refund!”

Me: “Yes, but the system cannot process the refund without a PIN.”

Customer: “But… but I don’t remember my PIN!”

Me: “There’s no way to do the refund without it.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

(I nod coolly, because I know that if I speak it will come out as a scream.)

Customer: “Okay, maybe I’ll just have a look around and see if I can find anything.” *walks away*

Me: “…”

Coworker: “Un-f******-believable.”

(She came back an hour later with a trolley’s worth of items that added up to $110 after taking out the original $6.00 refund value. The moment she left, I went into the back room and screamed while my supervisor laughed her head off. It’s a good thing it wasn’t a busy day that day.)

She’s Going To Have Kittens If You Don’t Tell Her

, , , , | | Romantic | August 7, 2019

(I volunteer at an animal shelter. We have a man who has driven for an hour and a half to adopt a cat for his wife’s birthday as a surprise. He works in the mines 14 days on, 7 days off, so he usually does not go out on his days off, and apparently, his wife finds this suspicious. He receives a phone call just as he is finalising the paperwork. I cannot hear her end of the conversation.)

Man: *phone rings* “Oh, hello, honey. What’s up?” *wife speaks* “Oh, I am just out.” *wife speaks* “I just had some things to do.”

(His wife speaks a little louder.) 

Man: “Yeah, I know it’s my day off. I just had some things to get!”

(His wife speaks, if possible, louder.) 

Man: “All right, all right, all right! Woman, I’m getting you a birthday present!”

(There is silence for a moment before she speaks again.) 

Man: “No, I’m not going to tell you what it is!… No… No… NO!… If you keep guessing I am putting it back.”

(The kitten decides to meow at him at that moment. There is silence, and then an audible squeal comes out of the phone. He sighs.)

Man: “I will see you soon.” *hangs up* “So much for surprises.”

Feeding Him Some Reality

, , , , | | Right | July 30, 2019

(I am serving a customer who, while annoying at times, has become one of my favourite customers. This is the second time I have served her; the first time she was being badgered by her husband because he was hungry. He looks annoyed again and is standing a few metres away.)

Me: “Hi, welcome back. Please tell me you fed him this time.”

Customer: “Oh, you remembered us. Honey, she remembered us.”

(The husband just grunts. The customer wants to look at tablecloths, so I show her what we have. She chooses one and asks if I can open it so she can see the printed design properly.)

Customer: “Ooh, I like that.” *holds it up for her husband to see* “This one is nice; I’m going to buy it.”

Husband: *sounding cranky* “You make sure you get a new one; you aren’t buying an opened one.”

Customer: “You idiot, I made her open it for me.” *to me* “I’ll be taking this one.”

(I finish the transaction and smile at them both.)

Me: “Now, take your husband and get him something nice to eat.”

Husband: *starts laughing* “Best thing I’ve heard all day.”

(Since then, the husband has been less grumpy, and one day when I see them away from the shop, he points me out to her.)

Husband: “There’s that nice lady from [Store], the one that makes sure you feed me.”

Not Keeping It Five Alive

, , , | | Right | July 26, 2019

(It’s the middle of lunch hour and I’m working the food court where there are only two cashiers. The lines are long and it’s incredibly busy. [Customer #1] is next in line and [Customer #2] is behind her.)

Me: “Hi. How can I help you today?”

Customer #1: “I want a stunner with coffee for the drink.”

Me: “Which stunner would you like? We have quite a few.”

Customer #1: “I just want a $4.95 stunner with coffee.”

Me: “We have three $4.95 stunners: a cheeseburger, chicken wrap, and five nuggets.”

Customer #1: “I’ll have an—“ *looks at the menu board and starts humming and thinking*

(She keeps doing this for another five minutes. As I’m waiting, I look around, and [Customer #2] tries to order but he can’t until I’ve put this lady’s order through.)

Customer #1: “I’ll have a chicken wrap stunner with coffee for the drink.”

Me: “Okay, that’s $5.45.”

Customer #1: “Why?”

Me: “Coffee adds 50c to the price.”

Customer #1: “I only have $5!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Do you still want to order?”

Customer #1: “I’ll just have a chicken wrap and small coffee.”

Me: “That’s $5.65.”

Customer #1: “I only have $5!”

Me: “I am sorry. Would you still like to order?”

([Customer #1] is silent for about another minute.)

Customer #1: “I’ll just have a small coffee, then.”

Me: “That’s $3.35.”

(I put the order through and give her the change. As I give her the coffee, the next customer steps up. In total, this transaction has taken about seven to ten minutes.)

Customer #2: “Hi. I’m going to stand here for ten minutes and waste everyone’s time because I can’t be bothered deciding what I want before I order and can’t be bothered bringing the right money, either.”

([Customer #1] snatched her coffee and stormed off furiously.)