Beginning To Sound Like A Broken Vinyl Record

, , , , , , | Working | September 18, 2018

(Within a few months of starting my job, I develop a latex allergy. Because I need to wear gloves to collect samples, my boss orders in some nitrile gloves for me. They are only for me to use because of the higher price compared to the latex gloves. A few months later, I start getting horrible itching on my hands during work. It sometimes spreads to my face and arms, and gets so bad I need to jump in the shower the moment I get home and scrub myself raw to try and make it stop. After a process of elimination, I figure out the source and go to my boss.)

Me: “So, you know how I’ve been itching lately?”

Boss: “Yeah.”

Me: “I think I know why, and if I’m right, you’re not going to like it. I think I’m allergic to the nitrile gloves, as well. I need to test it out.”

Boss: “Oh, my God, you’re so bloody precious.”

(I was allergic to the nitrile. I now have vinyl gloves and strict orders not to develop any more allergies.)

Unfiltered Story #120974

, | Unfiltered | September 16, 2018

It was a quiet Sunday afternoon, so I stepped out of my shop to chat to my neighbour when we both saw a young girl walk into my shop. She has to walk right past us to exit so I wasn’t overly concerned, and most people want some time to look around before buying anyway. She walked all round the shop then went behind my counter. We saw her reach out and touch my till, while looking right at me, whereupon I yelled “What do you think you are doing”.  She stopped and left very fast but 3 minutes later her mother’s friend came over to tell me off for speaking to a child like that.

What A Complete Di(s)c

, , , , , | Right | September 12, 2018

(I work at a computer store in Newcastle around 1983 or ‘84. A customer comes in with an IBM compatible computer complete with monitor and keyboard.)

Customer: “Fix this piece of g**d*** s**t! It won’t read my floppy disks!”

Me: “Okay… and what exactly is it doing?”

Customer: “I put the disk in and turn it on, but it says, ‘Drive A is not ready.’”

(What was the problem, you may ask? The idiot didn’t take out the protective thingy for the disk drive! He angrily says to me:)

Customer: “Why didn’t I think of that?! F*** you and your misconceptions!”

(He left without his computer. Long story short, I got my first real computer for free, and I still have it!)

Hell’s Angels Need Their Muffins

, , , , | Related | September 11, 2018

(My brother-in-law is huge, with biker tattoos. I hear him say, all in a high-pitched, happy voice, upon raiding the pantry…)

Brother-In-Law: “Oooooooh, hidden muffin!”

This Nurse Doesn’t Get A Thumbs Up

, , , , , | Healthy | September 10, 2018

(I am thirteen years old. I break my wrist and end up with a fibreglass cast. After about six weeks, when it is time to get it off, my dad takes me to a medical centre. The nurse who is allocated to the task of removing it is a little abrupt when describing the process, but in a way that makes me think she is just busy.)

Nurse: “So, we’ll be using this saw to cut along the length of the cast on your arm and then make a cut around the thumb. You’ll feel a small tickling sensation.”

Me: “Sounds good; ready when you are!”

(The nurse inserts what is essentially a wooden tongue depressor under the cast so that the drill hits that and not skin, and then cuts along the length of my arm. It feels fine; there’s no pain or tickling. The nurse changes to the thumb section, puts the wooden thing under the cast, and starts to saw. I start to realize that it’s hurting rather than kind of vibrating.)

Me: “Um, that’s actually kind of hurting; can we stop?”

Nurse: *stops, but scoffs* “We can’t stop! Do you want a cast on your arm forever?”

Me: “Um, no, it just really hurts.”

Dad: *getting concerned* “She’s normally pretty good with pain; can we try it a different way?”

Nurse: “There’s no other way to do it. We need to cut it loose around the thumb, and I’m nearly done, anyway!”

(FINALLY, after about a minute of me trying to hold still and not flinch, the cut around my thumb was finally done and the cast could be removed. As soon as it came off, the nurse went white, kind of muttered something about getting a doctor, and walked out of the room. I then looked down and realised my thumb was dripping with blood, because the saw wasn’t sitting on the wooden depressor but instead cutting into my hand the whole time. My hand was fine, and the cut was super-glued shut, which gave me a fun story to tell at school for a week! To all nurses out there: I understand how busy and overworked you are, and that sometimes people complain of pain when there’s really nothing there, but sometimes there is something wrong with your routine procedure!)

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