They’re Frozen On The Menu

, , , , , | Right | December 9, 2018

(I work at a fast food restaurant. We sell frozen drinks for $1. Unfortunately, today all the frozen drinks machines are broken, as are all of the soft drink machines. We have signs plastered in the drive-thru informing customers, and we greet every customer by telling them this. Almost every single order goes along these lines.)

Me: *greeting* “Unfortunately, we are unable to sell and frozen drinks or soft drinks right now.”

Customer: “Okay, can I get a cheeseburger meal with a [frozen drink]?”

Me: “We can’t do any frozen drinks or soft drinks at the moments, I’m sorry.”

(I tell customer what drinks they CAN get.)

Customer: “Oh, I’ll just get a lemonade with the meal, then.”

Me: *eye twitching* “We can’t sell any lemonade, or any other soft drink, or frozen drink. I can only give you…” *repeats other options*

Customer: “Can I have a [different frozen drink], then?”

Me: *slowing bashing my head on the wall* “We can’t do any soft drinks or frozens at the moment.”

Customer: *pause* “I’ll just get a Coke.”

Me: “…” *turns microphone off, starts screaming in frustration*

How To Scam A Scammer, Part 7

, , , , , | Legal | December 7, 2018

(My mobile phone rings. I know it’s a spam call because I don’t give out my mobile number and it’s unlisted. I answer it anyway since I’m not doing anything important.)

Caller: “Hello, I’m [Caller] from [Made-Up Company]. I’m calling on behalf of your insurance company regarding a traffic accident in which you were the driver not at fault.”

(I’ve had this scam before and just hung up, but I decide to see how long he’ll keep going.)

Me: “I don’t think so; I don’t drive at all.”

Caller: “Oh, my apologies! I’ve misread. I see here you were actually the passenger, not the driver.”

Me: “Nope, I always take public transport.”

Caller: “Oh, yes! My mistake. I see it was actually a relative of yours who lives nearby who was the passenger in the car not at fault in a traffic accident.”

Me: “Nope. I’m the only member of my family in this city. The rest of my family is at least 200 kilometres away.”

Caller: *swearing*

(The call ended. If they ever call back, I’m going to ask them who my insurer is, since they’re calling on behalf of them.)

Unfiltered Story #128800

, , | Unfiltered | December 1, 2018

I live about forty minutes from the capital city in my state. I have a friend visiting with her young children and they live about six hours away in a small town out in the bush.

In recent years they’ve built a Costco about five minutes from where I live and it is the only one in the state. Because my friend had never been I decided to take her and her kids.

We walk inside and her four year old looks around and her eyes go wide.

4 yr old: WOW! Mum, this place really does have EVERYTHING in the WHOLE world!

The Biggest Challenge To A Vegan’s Lifestyle Is A Vegan’s Friends

, , , , , , | Right | November 24, 2018

Customer #1: *places order* “But I don’t want anything with cream in it; I’m vegan!” *wanders off*

Me: *to her friend, [Customer #2]* “We use mock cream, which is basically just vegetable oil and sugar, but the doughnuts themselves have dairy and egg in them, so your friend shouldn’t have them at all if she’s vegan.”

Customer #2: *shrugs* “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her! I’ll take a dozen, but better leave out the cream ones, just in case.”

Beats Per Second Would Be Even Worse

, , , , , | Healthy | November 21, 2018

(I have just had to rush my daughter to the hospital with a heart-related issue. I call my husband and send a text to friends that I am supposed to be going out with that evening. One friend isn’t always with it.)

Me: “Sorry, I am stuck in hospital with [Daughter]; she has a heartbeat of 204 bpm and they are trying to stabilise it.”

Friend: “So, what time will you be here?”

Me: “I can’t come.”

Friend: “Why not? You still have two hours before we leave.”

Me: “Because [Daughter] is in hospital and I won’t leave her.”

Friend: “Oh, is 204 bpm bad?”

Me: “204 beats a minute? Yes, it’s bad.”

Friend: “Oh, I didn’t know you meant per minute.”

(She did wish us well, and our daughter’s heart rate was brought down, though she needs lifelong medication to keep it there.)

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