You May Now… Applaud?

, , , , , , , | Related | November 20, 2019

My sister is getting married. As her fiancé was raised Catholic, they’re having a Catholic wedding. Our side of the family is Christian, too, but we’re not familiar with Catholic rites or services, being a variety of other denominations. In addition, most of the friends of the bride and groom aren’t religious and so also aren’t familiar with Catholic practises.

Regardless of our inexperience, everything goes smoothly and my sister and her fiancé exchange vows and rings. The priest then invites my now brother-in-law to kiss his wife.

Awaiting the classic “I now pronounce you husband and wife” line which isn’t actually used, the guests don’t quite realise that this is the big moment and there are a few heartbeats of silence.

“There’s usually a big cheer right about here,” the priest prompts, and we all start clapping.

“We’d better try that again!” the priest jokes, inviting my brother-in-law to kiss his wife again.

This time we raise the roof with claps, cheers, and laughter!

1 Thumbs

Getting Carriage Away

, , , , , | Friendly | November 11, 2019

(In Brisbane, where I live, passenger trains typically have six carriages. Carriages two and five are designated “quiet carriages,” and passengers are requested not to talk loudly or play loud music or electronic devices. I like sitting in these carriages on my way to and from work because I’m very much an introvert and struggle with having a lot of people around me. These little areas of — relative — peace and tranquility make my hour-long commute so much more bearable. This story starts a couple of stops down the line from mine when a lady gets up out of her seat, walks to the door area, and loudly announces:)

Passenger: “Hello, train people!” 

(She then starts to ramble on about getting up and moving, and says something about dancing before playing some music on her phone. She then turns to the nearest person, which happens to be me, and tries to get me up to dance. At this, I simply pull one of my earbuds out of my ear, point to the “quiet carriage” sign on the window, and say:)

Me: “Just so you know, this is a quiet carriage.”

(She looks where I’m pointing, reads the bit about no loud music or talking, turns back to me, and says:)

Passenger: “Oh, do you want me to get off, then?”

(I am a bit taken aback that she hasn’t even made the smallest attempt to apologise for disturbing the carriage, so I say:)

Me: “Actually, if you don’t mind, that’d be great.”

Passenger: “I’ve got so much love in my heart. Do you need a hug?”

(I’m not proud of my reply, but all I want is to do was sit in peace on my way to work.)

Me: “No, I need you to shut up.”

(It did the trick, though, because she packed up her stuff and moved to another carriage.)

1 Thumbs

Unfiltered Story #173079

, , , | Unfiltered | October 26, 2019

(Because of an accident when I was younger, for a good portion of my life I have been left completely mute. Miraculously, as damage has healed I have slowly been able to talk more and more, though with great difficulty. Due to my position as a server, I have made sure to practice a few key useful terms that are allow me to disengage quickly, but still be polite to a customer. Unfortunately, my words are often slurred or stuttered which had previously never caused me any problems.)

Me: Hello, welcome to [Supermarket] my name is [My name], how are you today?

Customer: *Looks noticeably irritated* Are you r******* or something? What’s wrong with you?

(Having never been asked this question, I called over a co-worker of mine who was fluent in sign language. After quickly relaying what I wanted to say, she translated.)

Co-worker: *Gesturing to me* I apologise sir, but unfortunately I have been left mostly mute-

(Cutting off my co-worker)

Customer: That’s f****** b*******. You’re disgusting you slimeball, how dare you fake a disability like that? What’s wrong with you? I demand to see your manager right now to let them know about this sick practical joke you’re playing.

(My co-worker looks about ready to yell at the customer before I tap her shoulder and let her know to just do it. She goes away to find the store manager and comes back after a few minutes.)

Manager: I apologise for the wait sir, what seems to be the issue here?

Customer: *Points to me* This sicko here is going around pretending to be disabled, I would like you to publicly reprimand him for his actions.

Manager: Sir, [My name] IS a disabled person and even if this were some kind of practical joke I would not publicly embarrass my employees.

Customer: B*******. *Customer drops his items on the floor and points to me* I’ll be calling corporate to have you both dealt with for being such disgusting pieces of s***.

(A few hours later, the man returns, ranting and cursing to any customer who gives him the attention. After close to ten minutes of this, security came and escorted the man off the premises. Two days later the manager gave me a written apology from the man after he had been threatened with a potential fine or jail time for abuse. I haven’t seen him in the store since.)

Unfiltered Story #168460

, , | Unfiltered | September 30, 2019

The Roadhouse I work at has a cafe attached. This day we’re currently experiencing a power cut, and relying on a backup generator. This means anything that uses a lot of power or has an element has been shut down – so we have no hot water, coffee machine, deep frier or sandwich toaster – just the hot plate as it’s gas. To let people know, we’ve placed a sign on the counter explaining this and what we can still serve – intentionally placed so it blocks most of the menu on the wall when you stand in front of the counter. At the very bottom (about eye level) in big bold letters it says: NO TOASTED S/W, NO COFFEE.
Customer: (Walks to the counter, sees sign. Moves a step to the left so he can read the menu on the wall) I’ll take a ham and cheese toasted sandwich and a coffee please.
Me: (pointing to the sign) Sorry sir, we’re currently experiencing a power cut and can’t provide those right now
Customer: Oh, I didn’t see that!

(Sadly, this conversation happened at least 10 times before the power came back!)

Unfiltered Story #162042

, , | Unfiltered | September 5, 2019

I work in a reasonably high-end shoe store. Most of our shoes retail for ~$100+ and are really good quality. This man comes in about five minutes after I finish my shift, but I still have to walk out past him so I decide to ask what he wants.

Me: “Hello there Sir! What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “Well I bought these shoes about two months ago and they’re completely ruined!”

The customer takes off his shoes and passes them to me. I notice they are one of our higher brand, retail at $160, and it looks like someone has taken a knife to the sole and cut a hole in it. The shoes look at least a year old.

I nod and encourage him to continue this story. I smile at this point.

Customer: “DO NOT laugh at me. This is a real problem. I have been walking with these shoes for two weeks now. It is unacceptable.”

Me: “Sorry sir.”

Customer: “I do NOT want to enquire about a warranty, I just want to tell you not to buy these shoes!”

As a woman with small feet, I am not able to but this brand. Our shoes do not come with a warranty, only a refund if not worn & within 2 weeks of purchase. The customer walks off and I go out the back to retrieve my things and go home. As I’m walking past my manager, I see the same man speaking to her.

Customer: “I cannot believe the service here! I came in to ask about getting an exchange on these shoes and all I got was this girl laughing at me!”

I left the store quickly, hoping he hadn’t seen me again. I spoke to my manager the next day and she said that nothing came from it. The customer was not within his rights to get a refund or exchange.