April Fools: Holiday Special

, , , , | Right | April 1, 2019

(It’s April.)

Customer: “Do you have those Christmas tree ones you had a while ago?”

Me: “No, we only have those around Christmas.”

Customer: “When will you have them back?”

Me: “December.”

Customer: “Oh. Why don’t you have them all the time?”

Me: “Because you’re literally the only person since Christmas to ask for them.”

They’re Not Cut From The Same Watermelon

, , , , | Working | March 26, 2019

(This happens with almost every new employee in registers. Like most fruit, we sell watermelon by the kilo. The picture on the system is a quarter of a watermelon, and it’s listed as a “watermelon cut.”)

New Employee: *trying to ring through an entire watermelon* “Where are full watermelons on here? I can only find watermelon cuts.”

Me: “Just do watermelon cuts. It’s the same price. They’re sold by the kilo.”

New Employee: “But that doesn’t make any sense. Shouldn’t the full watermelon be more per kilo than the cut? Why would a full watermelon be the same price as cut watermelon?”

Me: *dies inside a little*

(Eventually, they added a full watermelon to the system that had exactly the same price as the cut. We stopped having this problem after that.)

Not Such A Sour Story

, , , , | Hopeless | March 20, 2019

I’m at work in a lolly shop in Australia by myself; it’s a small shop. It’s a slow, boring day and I’m in a dreadful mood from customers being rude to me all day.

As I’m restocking some shelves, three American tourists come in and just start a casual conversation with me while they browse. They’re really nice and actually interested in what I have to say.

Eventually, a tall guy in the group asks me what my two favourite lollies are. I point out a caramel bar from the UK and a tin of cinnamon mints from America. He grabs both and buys them. After the purchase has gone through, he looks at me with a smile and says, “A gift for you. Bless you.”

I thank him but refuse; I say if he’d like he should pass the candies on to someone else who may enjoy it more.

They stick around for a bit longer, telling me what the similarities are like between Florida and Queensland, and since they’ve brightened my mood I buy them a five-pack of our most sour lollies in the store as a thank-you.

They may have travelled over 15,000 km to get here and only stuck around for ten minutes, but I’m glad they showed me it’s not all horrible working retail.

Faith in humanity slightly restored.

The Contrarian Librarian: The Childhood Years

, , , , , | Friendly | March 19, 2019

(My university has a lot of young parents attending. There are five or six private rooms in the library that kids aren’t supposed to be in, as there are a crèche and tonnes of other rooms, but my library is PACKED today. I see a woman come in with her little girl who is maybe four or five and I internally groan, thinking I’m going to lose out on a couple of hours of study. The woman sets her little girl up on the chair next to her with a little unicorn lunchbox and an iPad, plugging in some headphones for her. The little girl happily watches a show on the iPad, munches on some snacks, and grins at me when I glance over at her once, mostly to see if she is still there because she hasn’t made a single peep. I can’t help but smile back. She is honestly the quietest person in the whole room. Her mother works on her laptop for about an hour and starts packing up around the same time I do. I walk over to their table as I leave.)

Me: “Excuse me, miss?”

Girl’s Mother: *seemingly uneasy* “Yes?”

Me: “Can I just say you’ve got an awesome kid? I’ve never seen a kid her age behave that well for that long.”

(The mum smiles and thanks me, saying her partner was called into work and couldn’t watch their daughter and she was worried someone would tell them off for being in the kid-free room. The little girl suddenly takes off her headphones and says in a very loud whisper:)

Girl: “Hey, Mummy! We don’t talk in the library! Shh!”

(The mum and I burst out laughing. This kid had a better grasp of library rules than most adults. Way to raise a h*** of a kid, random university lady!)

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Can’t Make A Name For Yourself

, , , , , , | Right | March 14, 2019

(I work in a food court. Someone in a different store has the same name as me, and we often work the same shift. We look nothing alike.)

Me: “Hi. What can I help you with today!?”

Customer: *noticing my name tag* “Hey, that girl over there has your name!”

Me: “Yep, she sure does.”

Customer: “You’ve got the same name! Are you sisters?”

Me: *after a pause* “Yes, our parents gave us the exact same name.”

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