Unfiltered Story #114049

, , | Unfiltered | June 12, 2018

I work as a contractor in a very specialised field. I’ve had to drive 2 hours from the city in live in to fix a problem in another town as they don’t have anyone qualified. I’m not in the best of mood to begin with as the job is a callout and I’ve been smashed with callouts all week.

I’m in the deli department doing a repair and I will point out I’m scuffy, unshaven and wearing tradie gear so I look nothing like the staff in there clean white uniforms.

There is a line of customers and only one staff member serving. I’m going about my repair when I hear a mid 40’s lady going excuse me.

I ignore her for a bit but she is persistent.

Me: Sorry I don’t work her, just a contractor.

Lady: Quarter a roast chook.

Me: *pointing to staff member* she works here, you have to wait.

Lady: I want the leg piece.

Me: Look lady I don’t work for here, see the tools, uniform, my hands. Dirty hands, fixing things. You don’t want me touching your food.

Lady: Gross, you need to wash your hands. How can you work here without washing your hands.

Me: I don’t!

Lady: I’m going to write and letter to complain.

Another customer: Are you stupid, he obviously does not work here.

Wish I could say this doesn’t happen regularly.

A Signature Problem

, , , | Right | April 24, 2018

(A customer pays by credit card, the receipt prints out for them to sign — this is back before all cards have PINs — and the customer signs the receipt. I turn over the customer’s card to find that it’s a new one and they haven’t signed it.)

Me: “Sir, you haven’t signed your credit card yet.”

Customer: “Oh!” *signs card*

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “What do you need to see my ID for?! The signatures match!”

Me: “Because you just signed both, I just need to verify it is your card.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

Me: “If someone had stolen your brand new card and I let them buy stuff on it, how would you feel?”

(The customer, grumbling, shows me his ID. The name and signatures match.)

Customer: “See, I told you they matched!”

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 13

, , , , | Right | March 30, 2018

(I’m a customer waiting for my order when I hear the manager talking to an angry customer over the phone.)

Manager: “So, you ordered chilli paste on your pizza and you’re allergic to chillies?”

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 12
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 11
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 10

An Unwelcome Realization

, , , , , , , | Related | March 6, 2018

(My sister and her freeloading husband have moved in with my parents after being evicted. Even though Dad doesn’t want the husband there and says so, he finally caves and regrets it instantly. Mum finds that her cooking isn’t up to the husband’s standards, she wakes up from naps to find him leaning over her, he takes food from their fridge and puts it in his — they have a small kitchen of their own — and they can’t even have private conversations. My sister can’t even stand being at home with him; she spends most of her time travelling for work, and if she is back she will often sleep at her business. Nothing Mum or Dad do or say will convince him to move out, until he needs to go and “look after” his mother after she has surgery. After a few weeks of her having to do everything for him, his mother throws him out. Much to my parents’ surprise, he starts sleeping at my sister’s business, which has upset her as now she can’t get peace from him.)

Sister: *to my parents* “[Husband] says he isn’t coming back here.”

Dad: “Ooh… Why not?”

Sister: “He says you don’t make him feel welcome here.”

Dad: “Really?”

Sister: “Yeah. You should call him and tell he’s welcome to come back.”

Dad: “Yeah, no. That’s not going to happen.”

(My sister storms out.)

Mum: *to me* “If I knew three years ago that making him feel unwelcome was all there was to getting him out, I would have put more effort into it.”

No Need To Get Crabby About It

, , , , | Romantic | February 27, 2018

(My husband and I are on vacation. We’ve come to a fishing village to spend a week fishing. We also intend to catch mud crabs, as my husband has never eaten real crab before.)

Husband: “I want to go on some photography expeditions. I think we can get some nice photos here.”

Me: “My goal is to catch crabs.”

Husband: “You really like crab, hey?”

Me: “I just really want to give you crabs.”

Husband: “You want to give me crabs?”

Me: *pause* “Wait! No! Not those type of crabs. I want you to taste crab.”

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