We have an old regular who likes to stay and chat a bit with the cashiers. When we’re quiet, we are happy to chat, but during busy times, she knows to chat only during the transaction so as not to hold anyone up. Basically, she’s lovely.

I’m ringing her up, and there is another old fellow in line behind her, so we’re just chatting while I’m ringing her up.

Old Lady Customer: “So, I finally finished making those Christmas stockings for everyone that’s coming for the holidays.”

Me: “That’s amazing; you made them so quickly!”

Suddenly, the older gentleman customer grumbles loudly.

Old Man Customer: “We’d all be going more quickly if you did your job and stopped yammering on at work!”

Without skipping a beat, the old regular barks back:

Old Lady Customer: “Oh, calm the f*** down, you s***-lozenge. We’re just talking about what it’s like to have people over for the holidays, but I’m sure you know nothing about that, do you?”

The old fellow just stares angrily for a second before moving over to another checkout. The old lady turns back to me as I ring out her last item.

Old Lady Customer: “You hear me, lassie, customer service be d***ed. You get an old fart like that, you tell ’em to bite yer bawsack and be done with it.”

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I’m ringing up a customer’s purchases. They stop me when I scan some parsley for $1.99.

Customer: “This should’ve been fifty cents less!”

Me: “This is continental parsley, which is $1.99. The curly parsley is $1.49.”

Customer: “That’s not what the sign said!”

The continental parsley had a sign all of its own (and therefore in larger print) stating that it was $1.99. This sign was immediately next to the one listing all the other herbs. If I’d been tall enough to pull down the signs, I probably would have. I spent ten minutes explaining the two signs.

Whilst in University, I am working in a popular supermarket chain as a team leader. I work evenings, so this means that I am essentially in charge of the checkouts as there are no managers in. I wear a headset, and if the cashiers need assistance, they buzz me and I go help. It doesn’t say what help is needed on the headset, just which number checkout.

One night, I am in the middle of the store putting away some abandoned items. My headset tells me checkout four needs help. I’m on it.

As I am walking over, checkout eight also buzzes in. Fine, I will go there next. It takes a good couple of minutes before I get to checkout four. Some discounted items aren’t going through and I need to authorise something. It takes about three minutes to put through all the items that the customer wants, and then I make my way over to checkout eight.

As I approach, I can hear this guy causing a scene. He is moaning about how long I am taking and how incompetent we clearly are. As I get closer, I see this middle-aged man with his arms in the air in a “Come on!” gesture.

Customer: *To the cashier* “I’ve been on my feet all day, and all I f****** want is another box of eggs!”

Me: *Super polite* “How can I help?”

He turns with the biggest frown and I fully expect him to rip me a new one, but alas… he suddenly looks sheepish, and his body visibly shrinks in with shame. You see, I am eight months pregnant at the time and as big as a house.

Cashier: “The eggs the man chose are broken and he needs a new box.”

Customer: *Immediately* “Oh… um… I can go get them?”

There isn’t even a queue behind him; he could have gotten them at any point.

Me: “No, that’s okay, sir. You’ve been on your feet all day. Let me get your eggs.”

I waddled away and took my time.

When I was fourteen, I went into our local, very small-town gas station with my dad. He was buying beer.

Cashier: “Do you have any ID?”

Dad: “I have three kids.”

He said it like that was a valid form of ID. Apparently, to the cashier, it was, because she looked at me and said:

Cashier: “Are they yours, too?”

I work at a retail store that is known for its low prices. We kind of just get leftovers from all over. I am the main cashier on the floor, and with that comes a lot of extra things that I have to do. I am helping the other cashier newbies and making announcements to the REALLY long line to remove their hangers, in both English AND Spanish, all while ringing and bagging my customers in my own registers.

This one lady comes through with some fragile vases. I scan them through and ask if she would like them wrapped, to which she nods. I don’t think she speaks either language that I do really well. 

The transaction is pretty smooth. I don’t make an announcement or have to leave my register the whole time. I give her the total and she pays, and I gingerly hand her bags to her. When I look up, she is giving me the nastiest look you can over a mask.

I tell her to have a nice day, and I move on to the next customer after the lady walks away. When I look back over, she is marching back to my register, and she says:

Customer: “WHAT IS YOUR NAME? I’M CALLING CORPORATE!” 

I was too stunned to answer her, but she saw my nametag, said my name while shaking her finger at me, and then marched out. 

The customer still standing there asked what had happened, but I shrugged my shoulders and told her I had no clue.

I still have no idea what I did!