I am a cashier at a superstore. An older gentleman is buying blue jeans but is already wearing the new pair. He pushes his old ones across my counter.
Customer: “Can you bag these for me? They’re soaking wet.”
It was pee. He had peed his pants and didn’t mention it until his piss-soaked pants were in a bag.
I am checking out a bickering old couple. The gentleman is moaning about the cost of everything, and the lady is explaining why she needs them. I have just scanned an air freshener.
Husband: “How much?! For some fresh air?! That’s ridiculous. Put it back!”
Wife: “Are you willing to step outside when you drop one of your eye-watering farts?”
The husband just stares at her, angry, but seemingly without an adequate defense.
Wife: “As I thought. This next item is to unclog the shower drain. Shall I go into detail about why we need that, also?”
Silence.
Wife: “Wonderful.” *To me* “As you were, dear.”
Our liquor store is run by the provincial government. As employees of a Crown corporation and members of a union, we tend to have a little more leeway than your average retail worker to tell an unreasonable customer to get wrecked.
We have a few customers who don’t want to or can’t wear a mask, and they follow our accommodations. They come in, go to the customer service desk, and request what they want. An employee gets it for them while they wait in a low-traffic area, and they’re rung up quickly.
However, there is one customer who regularly waits until no employees are watching the door, comes in sans mask, and tries to come through the line as normal. If he’s called on it, he argues about how masks are “just recommended” until the person ringing him up gives in, banking on the fact that we’d all rather get him out of there as quickly as possible than have a fight with some a**hole.
One evening, however, I’ve had enough of his stupid, smug face. I’m the only person on till, and the only other person on the floor is my manager, over at customer service. I look up, see the customer’s bare face, and say:
Me: “Sir, you know our policy perfectly well. If you’re not wearing a mask, you may be denied service.”
Customer: “I’m exempt.”
Me: “We have accommodations for people who are exempt. Please wait by customer service and you will be helped. Next customer, please.”
Customer: “Yeah, well, I’m here now, so why don’t you just ring me up?”
Me: “No. Next customer, please!”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “If you wait by customer service, you will be helped. I will not ring you up here.”
Customer: “This isn’t a big deal.”
Me: “Oh, good. I’m glad you agree. Next, please!”
Customer: “No! You have to serve me!”
Me: “Yes, we must provide service to you. It’s available at the desk to your right. Please wait there to be helped. Next customer! Sir, please move out of this person’s way so I can help them.”
Customer: “I don’t understand why you aren’t just helping me here.”
Me: “Perhaps my manager can explain it to you?”
Customer: “Yes! I want to speak to your manager.”
Me: “Great. She’s at customer service.”
I work at a pet store. Sundays are scary when the after-church crowd shows up. A customer lays a bag of dog food and eight cans of dog food on the counter. He gives me a coupon for $5 off a bag of food and fifty cents off a can of dog food.
I ring him up, and he flips out.
Customer: “You overcharged me!”
I call for the supervisor on duty. She reads the coupon.
Supervisor: “This coupon is good for fifty cents off only one can of dog food.”
Customer: “So, you are telling me that if I buy a can of dog food, go to my car, come back, and buy another can of dog food, go to my car, come back, and buy another can of dog food, that this is what I have to do to get the fifty cents off a can of dog food like the coupon says?”
Supervisor: “Well, actually, once you use a coupon, we keep it, and you can’t use it again.”
Customer: “What the h*** is this bulls***? You’re trying to get one over on me! I’d go out of business if I pulled this s*** on a customer. I am going to report you!”
Then, he left with his purchase. He had railed for so long that by the time he was done, there was a long line at the register. Everybody just looked stunned.
Related:
The Couponator 34: Blast From The Past
The Couponator 33: The Double Cross
The Couponator 32: Attack Of The Rulebreaker
The Couponator 31: Saved By The Next Generation
The Couponator 30: Managerial Override
I am a cashier at a supermarket chain. On our system, no matter what method of payment the customer uses, the process is the same: payment is confirmed, the drawer opens, and then the receipt prints.
Today, I open a register and everything is normal at first. Then, an hour and a half after I first start using this register, the drawer doesn’t open. Payment is confirmed and then the receipt prints. There’s no sign that the system has even tried to open the drawer. The customer pays by card, so that’s no big deal. But it doesn’t open for the next customer or the next. I finally get someone who pays with cash, and the inevitable happens. The drawer doesn’t open. That’s when I discover that it won’t open when I input my password, either. I immediately put the cash and receipt underneath a nearby weight and call a supervisor.
The person who comes is new to her position. All she can do is watch me try to open my drawer, verify that the problem is as I described, and go back to the office. Two more senior people come over: [Assistant Bookkeeper] and [Manager]. They both watch me try to open the drawer. Then, they look around the register testing various systems, making sure the electricity works, etc. The whole time, the customer is standing there waiting for his change. He has a good sense of humor about it.
Customer: “My wife always says things like this might happen! If she were here now, she’d be laughing up a storm. I’m just glad I didn’t get the ice cream.”
The only thing they don’t try is the one thing I thought they would do first.
Me: “Can’t you manually open it?”
Assistant Bookkeeper: “We don’t have a key for them.”
Me: “Why do they have keyholes if there’s no key?”
Assistant Bookkeeper: “I don’t know.”
Twenty minutes pass. They bring out tools to try to pry open the box that holds the drawer. It resists pliers, screwdrivers, and a hammer. A would-be thief would need a blowtorch to open this thing. [Assistant Bookkeeper] reads the receipt to find out how much change [Customer] should have gotten and gives him that amount directly from the office so he can leave.
Finally, [Manager] goes back to the office. He roots around for a while and comes back out with a key that has a very distinctive red tag attached. The key opens the drawer.
Assistant Bookkeeper: “[Senior Bookkeeper] told me that she was absolutely sure we didn’t have a key for these things!”
[Manager] just shrugged.
I put the money in my drawer and closed it to sign out. Signing out didn’t open the drawer, either; he had to use the key again. I moved to another register and began to check out customers from the line that had built up while this was happening.
There is a silver lining to this story. As I moved to the other register, I heard [Assistant Bookkeeper] tell [Manager] that they had to get the head office to do something. Three weeks before, another register had its belt stop moving. The head office has been stubborn about sending anyone in to fix it, even with Easter approaching. The store managers have been of the opinion that as long as the head office won’t do anything, there’s nothing they can do. But TWO registers down, out of seven, with Easter approaching? I have a feeling the head office is going to get as many phone calls as it takes to annoy them into sending a maintenance team very soon.
