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Never Pick A Fight With An Old Scottish Woman

, , , , , , , | Right | May 25, 2022

We have an old regular who likes to stay and chat a bit with the cashiers. When we’re quiet, we are happy to chat, but during busy times, she knows to chat only during the transaction so as not to hold anyone up. Basically, she’s lovely.

I’m ringing her up, and there is another old fellow in line behind her, so we’re just chatting while I’m ringing her up.

Old Lady Customer: “So, I finally finished making those Christmas stockings for everyone that’s coming for the holidays.”

Me: “That’s amazing; you made them so quickly!”

Suddenly, the older gentleman customer grumbles loudly.

Old Man Customer: “We’d all be going more quickly if you did your job and stopped yammering on at work!”

Without skipping a beat, the old regular barks back:

Old Lady Customer: “Oh, calm the f*** down, you s***-lozenge. We’re just talking about what it’s like to have people over for the holidays, but I’m sure you know nothing about that, do you?”

The old fellow just stares angrily for a second before moving over to another checkout. The old lady turns back to me as I ring out her last item.

Old Lady Customer: “You hear me, lassie, customer service be d***ed. You get an old fart like that, you tell ’em to bite yer bawsack and be done with it.”

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