(The ballet teacher is rather strict about not joking around in class even though we’re all adults. “Echappé” is where you jump from feet together to land with feet apart.)
Teacher: “And what does echappé mean?”
Me: “To escape.”
Teacher: “And what are we escaping from?”
Me: “You.”
(We’re slow so I’m standing in the dining room chatting to the waitress. She only has one table who’s been pretty cool most of their stay, joking with us whenever they have something to input. I’m currently showing my coworker pictures of my cat, which I’m known to do often. As I’m showing her the last one, the guy from the table waves as though he wants something.)
Coworker: *as she’s walking towards their table* “You always take pictures of her on your bed.”
Me: “But that’s where we always cuddle.”
(I can’t see the girl’s face as she’s facing away from me, but she must have been making a horrified face.)
Coworker: *looking at the table* “We’re talking about her cat.”
Girl: “Oh…”
Guy: *laughing out loud* “Your face was priceless!”
This story is part of our Cuddle roundup!
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(I teach at a school for English as a second language. My class is the advanced level, but obviously many of the learners are not so proficient. One day, one of my students is absent, and a different young woman who I know is friends with her comes to find me at the break.)
Student: “Um, teacher? [Absent Student] says, tell you she is sick today.”
Me: “Well, I hope she’s all right.”
Student: “Oh, yes, not a big problem. She has… um… woman month pain?”
Me: “Uh. Yes, I see. Thank you for letting me know.”
(Proof that clear communication is possible even with a limited vocabulary!)
(A lot of my relatives are not very well off financially, and neither are a lot of people in the neighbourhoods they live in. This happens when one of my little cousins is in kindergarten.)
Teacher: “And what do you want to be when you grow up, [Cousin]?”
Cousin: “A sugar daddy!”
Teacher: “A what?! Oh… Uh… And… why do you want to be that?”
Cousin: “Because there’s a lot of poor kids whose parents can’t buy them any candy, so when I grow up, I’ll get rich, and then I’ll buy candy for all the poor kids.”
This story is part of our Wordplay roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!
10 Stories About Customers Who Don’t Know The Names Of Things
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(I am working as a bank teller at a small bank branch. I’m also very pregnant, so sometimes my “pregnant brain” turns on and I forget something, say something strange, or cry at the most ridiculous things. All my coworkers are women and have young kids, so they help me out when I’m having a bad day, and we all laugh when I do anything crazy. I have a younger male customer come in and start walking towards my window. I start to greet him, but instead of, “Hi, what can I do for you today?” my pregnant brain takes over and I say:)
Me: “Hi, what can I do to you today? Wait! No! I mean… not do to you. I meant, oh, wow, this is going downhill fast.”
(That poor man’s face was so red, and all my coworkers laughed at me the rest of the afternoon.)
This story is part of our Bad Bankers roundup!
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