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A Request Not Worthy Of Wiping Your Backside With

, , , , , | Right | June 9, 2022

I work at a grocery store. We use a third-party service for delivery. Yesterday, a delivery driver picked up two orders and accidentally delivered one to the wrong customer. The customer called us right away and got our department manager, who luckily was able to get in touch with the driver before she arrived at the second customer’s house. She turned around and drove back to this customer to deliver the correct items.

The drivers are required to take a picture of the orders on the doorstep, and our manager is able to see these. We have visual proof that both orders were left at the same condo as the unit number is visible in both photos.

You’d think that would be the end of it, but the customer called back twice this evening after our manager left demanding a refund for the order she never received. Both times she called, she got a coworker who was off yesterday and didn’t know the details, and I only know what the manager told me. It’s also late, so all of salaried management has left for the day; we’re on our own.

Coworker #1: “I’ve got this customer on the line saying she never received her birthday party supplies yesterday and was promised a refund she hasn’t received yet.”

Me: “Oh, that’s the lady the manager was on the phone with all day yesterday. The driver did go back and deliver the correct order. She shouldn’t be entitled to a refund.”

One hour later, she calls again.

Coworker #2: “This lady is yelling at me over the phone because she received toilet paper instead of birthday party stuff yesterday and is demanding a refund now.”

Me: “The driver delivered them. The manager got the pictures. The condo unit number in the picture is the same for both the wrong order and the right order, so we know they got dropped off at the same place.”

Coworker #2: “She just keeps repeating that she doesn’t want the toilet paper. She wants her $400 and party supplies.”

Me: “She should have received her items. [Store] isn’t going to issue a refund since, according to our photos from the driver, she got them. She has made it very clear she received the items she didn’t want, and the condo number in that photo from the driver is the same condo number as the photo with the party supplies.”

Coworker #2: “Now she’s demanding she speak to you because you clearly know everything.”

I take the phone.

Customer: “Since you’re just feeding that boy information like he’s a puppet, I’ll just talk to you. I received toilet paper. I don’t want toilet paper. I want $400!”

Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately, because we have the photos from the driver of the party supplies at the same condo as the toilet paper you did receive, we can’t issue a refund.”

Customer: “I don’t care about those photos! I did not get my order!”

Me: “Listen, ma’am, our manager has gone for the day. We don’t have any authority to help you tonight. You can call the manager in the morning, and she can help you more than us.”

Customer: “I hope you know I am pressing charges. I am recording this phone call and will be sending it to the police. Now give me your name, rank, and job title.”

Me: “I am a personal shopper. I have no rank and cannot help you anymore tonight. Please call tomorrow when our manager is here.”

She hung up on me.

The manager called the customer who had actually ordered the toilet paper. We repicked the items for her and she came to get them herself. That customer did not give us any trouble.

Children Sure Have A Gift For Making You Feel Old

, , , , | Related | May 29, 2022

I was picking up my kids after school one day when my fifth-grader suddenly remembered something she wanted to show me. It was a piece of notebook paper on which she and her friend had drawn a phone screen and were writing messages (including the chat bubbles) to each other.

Daughter: “Yeah, we’re not allowed our phones in school, but [Friend] and I figured out how to text each other anyway!”

Me: “When I was in school, we called that ‘passing notes.’”

Daughter: “But you didn’t even have texting back then!”

Me: *Facepalm*

She Is Soda-rn Entitled

, , , , , , | Related Right | April 4, 2022

I am eleven, at the store with my mom. We are about to leave without buying anything when my mom grabs a coke from one of the fridges by the checkouts. I figure we’ll just wait in line but she instead storms to the front of the line and cuts in front of a woman unloading her cart onto the belt. Mom puts her coke in front of the cashier and tries to hand her the money for it.

Embarrassed beyond belief, I try to stop my mom:

Mom: *Snaps.* “Be quiet!”

The lady she has cut in front of speaks up.

Lady: “You need to get back in line.”

Mom: *Snaps.* “I only have one thing!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I was about to serve this lady. You need to get back in line—”

Mom: “It’s just a coke, ring me up!”

I try again to point out that there’s a line, but I’m ignored. My mom ends up throwing the money at the cashier and then takes her coke and we leave. I apologize to the cashier and the lady that was cut in front of, and hurry after my mom.

Me: “Why did you do that?”

Mom: “It was just one thing! The cashier should have just rung up the coke!”

If I Get One More Call, I’m Gonna Crack!

, , , | Working | February 19, 2022

I had been dealing with telemarketers all day long, and I thought, “If that phone rings one more time…”

Not five minutes later, it rang. I answered it, and they wanted to try to sell me some insurance. I just happened to have an old short bullwhip that I use as a flirt pole — a dog’s toy that you attach a toy to the end of and they chase it around — in my hands.

Me: “Sorry, I have to go kill a snake that’s in my yard!”

They would not shut up. They just kept asking over and over:

Telemarketer: “Do you take more than six prescriptions a day?”

I just gave them an earful of me “killing a snake”.  Really, all I was doing was hitting the concrete over and over with my whip and making it pop LOUDLY into the phone, and my dog was in his pen going nuts!

While all of this was going on, I asked them if I could call them back later. I never did, and they did not call back.  

I went and gave my dog some love and let him know that I was okay after it was all over with.

When Your Ignorance Is The Toast Of The Town

, , , , , | Right | January 14, 2022

I am stocking shampoos when a girl in her late teens or early twenties approaches.

Customer: “Can you tell me where the toast is?”

Me: “The… toast?”

Customer: “Yes. I need to buy some toast.”

Me: “We don’t sell already made toast. Would you like me to point you to the bread aisle?”

Customer: “Is that what toast is made from?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “I’ll take the bread, then!”

I point out the bread aisle and she’s happily on her way. An older man who has been standing nearby comes up to me after this exchange.

Customer: “I can’t believe you got through that without laughing! Do you think she was drunk, high, or pranking you?”

Me: “I don’t know, but at least she’s happy!”