I Don’t Have The Words

, , , | Right | January 6, 2019

(The phone rings at the library where I work, so I answer it. We’re a big, two-story library in the middle of a small town, and have been for over ten years.)

Me: “[Library], can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, uh, y’all got a lot of books?”

Ninety Days, Tops!

, , , , , | Working | December 28, 2018

(It is towards the end of January and I am returning a toy that I bought for my son a few days before Christmas. We took it out of the box and put it together, but the little one had absolutely no interest in it. Being tight on money, I decide to take it apart and return it, as I can use the money a lot more than I can use a toy that just sits around and collects dust. I take extra time to try to get everything back in the box as best I can, but part of it is still sticking out no matter how hard I try.)

Me: “Hi. I would like to return this, please. There’s nothing wrong with it at all, but my little one has no interest in it, and $80 is just too much to let sit around and not get played with. I tried to repackage it as best I could, but you know how these things can be. Here is my receipt for it.”

Worker: *takes the receipt and starts looking at it* “No, we can’t take this back, you bought this before Christmas, and our Christmas return policy is over now. There’s nothing we can do.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I don’t see how me buying it just two days before Christmas can completely invalidate your ninety-day return policy. If you read the terms and conditions on the Christmas return policy, it is extended for items that people buy in, say, September for gifts that would be ineligible for return after Christmas. This was bought barely a month ago.”

Worker: “But this was bought before Christmas, so it’s invalid.”

Me: “With all due respect, ma’am, I work returns in another store so I know how return policies work. While I did buy this before Christmas, I purchased it only two days before Christmas. Your policy on your sign that is hanging right there above the register says that you have a ninety-day return policy. Basically you are telling me that if I had bought this item just three days later, then what I did it would be okay, but because it was purchased two days before Christmas, and even though it’s not even been anywhere close to ninety days, I can’t return it because your Christmas return window is open.”

Worker: “Yeah, that’s right.”

Me: “So, even though your Christmas return policy stated on your website says that it is an extension for items bought in September that would normally be ineligible for return after Christmas, since more than ninety days would have passed, and even though this item is only thirty-one days old, you won’t even attempt to scan my receipt to see if it’s actually eligible to return.”

Worker: “No, because it was bought before Christmas.”

Me: “Okay, look. I really don’t like doing this, but please get me your manager.”

(The worker goes to get the manager who follows them back over. The worker starts off before I can say anything so I just stand there quietly.)

Worker: “She refuses to listen when I tell her that the Christmas return window is over. She keeps saying she should be able to return it because it hasn’t been used.”

Manager: “Do you have your receipt?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I gave it to her. This item was only purchased thirty-one days ago, so it is well within your return policy of ninety days. I tried telling her that your Christmas return policy is for items purchased much before Christmas that would normally render them ineligible for return after Christmas. Furthermore, I never told her it should be returned because it was never used; I told her she should return it because it’s within policy.”

(The manager takes the receipt from the worker and looks at it for a second, then picks up the hand scanner and scans the receipt.)

Manager: “There. Now, return her item for her.”

Worker: *completes the return and hands the money to me* “Here. Have a good day.”

Me: “Don’t worry; I will now.”

Unfiltered Story #132283

, , | Unfiltered | December 10, 2018

so i am making a an address label for a customer and after i am finished this happens.

Me: Mam if you would like we can email you this file so you don’t have to wait for us to make it an we can print straight from it

Customer: No that’s to much trouble you guys can just remake it next time i come for labels

Me: Mam we don’t save files we make so we will have to remake it

Customer: Yeah its just too much trouble to email you the file over

Me: Alright then see you next time

Unfiltered Story #127489

, , , | Unfiltered | November 18, 2018

One day, while out on University Drive, I decided to go t a local Krystals restaurant, since I had not been there in years. So I pulled up and ordered what I used to order (those chicken bite things and french fries) only to find out they don’t sell it anymore. So already I’m pissed. So I just order a burger. Well, I pull up, and the guy, who doesn’t speak, hands me a few bags and tells me to get out. I did as he was told because he was this big burly dude who could probably crush my skull. when I looked, he had given me my order and someone else’s. For free!

That guy was such an idiot and it worked so well in my favor!

Groomed For Mental Illness

, , , , , , | Legal | November 17, 2018

(I work at a pet shop as a dog groomer. This exchange happens between me and a unpleasant customer one afternoon.)

Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I had my dog groomed here, and you charged $3 extra for her haircut. I want to know why.”

(I look her up.)

Me: “After looking at her info, I see she got a special coat treatment and was charged extra.”

Customer: “I know she got special treatment. What I want to know is why I was charged extra for it. I only wanted it on one part of her body.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, we charge for extras. It even says so on our board, and we just can’t treat just one spot, so the groomer charged you.”

(The customer started screaming about how incompetent we all were and how she wanted a full refund for upsetting her. She grabbed some scissors on the desk and threatened to slash her dog’s throat if we didn’t do as she said. I yelled at my coworkers to call 911 because she had flipped and was scaring everyone in the shop. She ran out the door and drove off before the cops showed up. About two weeks later, I was walking across the parking lot of the vet next door to our shop when I heard a car start up. It was the customer, driving towards me, sticking her head out of the car, and shrieking. She drove right at me, and I had to jump out of the way before I got hit! She was screaming about how I owed her $3! I called the cops and gave them her name. When they entered her home later, they found that she had gutted her home and booby-trapped the inside so that “they couldn’t get to her.” She had binoculars trained at all the windows, watching her neighborhood. And she killed her poor dog. She got locked up for a very long time.)

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