Missing A Little Nugget Of Information

, , , , , | Right | July 26, 2018

(I work weekends at a fast food restaurant to help out with the bills. This particular exchange happens when I am taking orders in the drive-thru one Saturday afternoon. Note: at this restaurant, meals include fries and a drink.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I need two chicken nugget meals, one with a vanilla shake instead of a drink, and the other with a lemonade.”

Me: *repeats order back, prepares to give total*

Customer: “Wait, wait, wait. Now, I don’t want chicken nuggets.”

Me: *almost positive that she asked for nugget meals* “Oh, I’m sorry. Did you need a different meal?”

Customer: *with increasing frustration* “No, my son wants the nuggets, but I don’t.”

(At this point, I assume she’s accidentally ordered the wrong meal for herself, so I cancel one of them and wait for her to order the correct one.)

Me: “Oh, all right. And which meal did you need, ma’am?”

Customer: “I already told you, I want the chicken nugget meal, just with no nuggets.”

Me: “So… just an order of fries and a lemonade?”

(Keep in mind, the price for fries and a lemonade is SIGNIFICANTLY lower than any of our meal prices, so there’s no monetary reason for her to order this way.)

Customer: *exasperated* “Yes! God, what is so confusing about that?”

Lower Your Guard, Not Your Price

, , , , | Right | July 20, 2018

(I manage a distribution center, but I am filling in for the manager of another facility for the week. One of the duties of the branch manager is to fill all walk-in orders.)

Customer: “What are your prices?”

Me: *indicating clearly-marked price board* “The prices are [amount] and [volume discount price].”

Customer: “Well, I always pay [lower price]. I buy from the other branch all the time and they give me a discount!”

Me: “You mean the facility in [City]?”

Customer: “Yes, I purchase from them all the time! You should give me the same price.”

Me: “That’s odd; I don’t recall ever seeing you before.”

Customer: “Why would you have seen me before?!”

Me: “I am the manager of the branch in [City], and I handle all accounts for that location.”

Customer: “Um, I’ll just take [product] at regular price.”

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day, sir.”

Unfiltered Story #116430

, , | Unfiltered | July 9, 2018

(At my store, we are instructed to ask each guest if they would like to sign up for the store’s credit card, which saves them a percentage off of every purchase)
Me: (As I finish bagging the last few items) And would you be interested in saving with [store’s] card today?
Customer: I already have one. (She swipes the card and it’s declined)
Me: It happens sometimes. Why don’t you try again?
(She swipes a second time and the card is again declined)
Customer: Why the hell is my card being declined?
Me: Have you made a payment recently? Sometimes it can take up to ten business days to go through.
Customer: I’ve never made a payment on this card! I never got a bill in the mail!
Me: Oh, well if you’d like to go to customer service they can look up your bill and tell you if there’s a balance.
Customer: WHAT? You think just because I’m black I don’t pay my bills?
Me: *opens my mouth to speak*
Customer: *interrupting* No. I’ll have you know I’ve never even used this card so I *don’t* have a balance on it, but you just want to label me because I’m black. (I try to speak again) No, I don’t wanna hear a word out of your mouth.
(At this point I’m almost in tears but I finish the transaction, completely silent. The next customer comes up and offers me a kind smile)
Customer #2: Don’t let her get to you, honey. You didn’t mean anything by it but some people are determined to be miserable.

Not ALL Roads Lead To Rome

, , , , , , | Learning | July 8, 2018

(I am working as a long-term sub for a teacher on maternity leave. It is an English class and we are reading Julius Caesar. While the kids are working on a different assignment, I mention something I just heard on the news.)

Me: “Hey, something you guys might find interesting: archaeologists just announced they found where Caesar landed with his army during their invasion of England.”

Student: “But… they didn’t have planes back then.”

Me: *bewildered* “Uh, no, but they did have ships.”

Student: “But why didn’t they just drive?”

Me: “You didn’t do well in geography, did you?”

They’re About To Get Pistol Whipped

, , , , , | Legal | July 3, 2018

(I am a boy working a popular restaurant with a regular inside. It’s a slow night. A man with a cap on walks inside.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “It’s okay if you need some tim–”

Customer: *pulls out a pistol*

Regular: *screams and tackles the customer to the floor*

Me: *starts running to the back*

Regular: “Wait! It’s a joke! It’s a joke!”

(Turned out they were brothers and wanted some enjoyment out of me. They’re lucky that I didn’t get to the phone!)

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