A customer comes into the store looking outraged.

Customer: “My service was down all day yesterday!”

Me: “We had a hurricane yesterday, and it damaged some of the network. We were able to get it up and running again after twelve hours.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable! I am paying for a service, and you did not provide that service! I want a credit!”

I check their account.

Me: “I see you’re on our Supersaver $12.99 a month plan.”

Customer: “That’s right.”

Me: *With a calculator* “Okay. September has thirty days, so that’s 720 hours. That comes to roughly 1.8 cents per hour, or 21.65 cents for the whole twelve-hour outage.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Would you like that as a check, or shall I credit your bill for next month?”

Customer: “…”

Me: *Getting out a quarter* “I’ll tell you what. Since you’re such a loyal and understanding customer, we’ll credit you for a few more hours and you can take this entire quarter!”

The customer just walked out without saying another word. I love being the manager.

Related:
Cents-lessly Arguing Over The Cost, Part 2
Cents-lessly Arguing Over The Cost

If you think this cheap customer is bad we have another 10 Crazy Stories About Customers Demanding Refunds For The Most Insane Reasons!

My boyfriend and I are both avid gamers; we met each other online in an MMORPG. One day, we plan to meet up at his place before heading out to date night. When I arrive, it is in the middle of a hellish storm — heavy rain, thunder, lightning, hail, and the wind beating the trees in his yard against the roof. It’s the kind of weather that makes you rethink going out.

I step into his house and find the lights on, which means he still has power despite the storm. I make my way to his gaming room, and sure enough, he’s on the sofa, controller in hand, noise-cancelling headphones firmly on his ears. His setup means his back is to the door.

Before I even get to say anything, [Boyfriend] speaks up.

Boyfriend: “If you’re going to kill me, can you wait until I wrap this up?”

A glance at the TV revealed he was playing the aforementioned MMO (which meant he did not have the option to pause) and was in the middle of a solo instance. I fought my laughter down to a fit of giggles that shouldn’t get through his headphones and waited for him to finish up.

We did end up staying at his place instead of going out for the night, and we had a good laugh at the fact that his reaction to an unknown arrival was, “Please don’t kill me in the middle of a boss fight.”

My brother and dad have an ongoing rivalry where each hates to admit that the other one was right about something. My brother and I are going to see our local Major League Baseball team play one evening. We live outside the city where it’s warmer, but the city itself is freezing, even in summer.

Dad: “You guys should wear pants to the game tonight and bring sweatshirts. It’s going to be freezing.”

I wear jeans and a sweatshirt, but my brother sticks to shorts and a T-shirt. At one point, the fog rolls in along with the wind and it gets cold. I look over at my brother, and he’s clearly cold.

Me: “Are you cold?”

Brother: “Yes.”

Me: “As an Eagle Scout, I’m always prepared, so I brought an extra jacket. Want it?”

Brother: “Sure, thanks.”

Me: “Are you going to be a good Eagle Scout, as well, and bring your own next time?”

Brother: “No.”

Me: “Why?”

Brother: “Because then I would have to admit that Dad was right, and I don’t like it when I have to admit that Dad was right.”

I work in a hotel. My phone alerted me that I was under a Tornado Warning, and I confirmed online that there was a tornado on the ground somewhere near me right as the tornado sirens began to go off. Guests were getting the same alerts on their cell phones.

I was the only person on duty and had to open different storm shelter areas and shepherd people from different buildings into them. During this process, two different guests showed up to try and check in — with a raging storm and tornado sirens blaring in the distance.

Guest #1: “Excuse me! I need to check in!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are under a Tornado Warning, and I cannot check anyone in until I get the all-clear. I need you to join everyone else in the storm shelter for now.”

Guest #1: “This is bulls***!”

He walked out and sped out of the parking lot. He came back over an hour later.

Guest #1: “No one at [Fast Food Place] would help me, either! They were all hiding in their walk-in freezer and I had to wait!”

The other guest who tried to check in was also very upset when I told them I couldn’t check them in and urged them to head to the shelter.

Luckily, the tornado touched down outside of town, and I don’t believe anyone was hurt, but today, I read that there are between fifty and seventy people thought to have been killed by tornados from the same storm in Kentucky, and it made me mad all over again.

Colorado can have bizarre weather; my town’s no exception. For instance, there was an incident years ago in which some old neighbors nearly lost their little barn because a large dust devil (or a miniature tornado) picked it up and dropped it upside down. Luckily, their horses weren’t inside or hurt, and it didn’t land anywhere else. Weirdly, the rest of the neighborhood was fine.

Those neighbors left in 2020, and a new family moved in. Shortly after they did, my town had the kind of gusty day that makes me joke about getting blown to Oz. During lunch, I heard the wind rise to the same screeching pitch that had signaled the barn’s flipping, and I looked outside just in time to see our new neighbors’ house get slammed. 

And then I remembered that Dad had been doing some yard work, so I bolted upstairs to look out the main bedroom’s window for a better view of our property. To my relief, Dad wasn’t still out there; he’d been taking a nap, and I accidentally woke him up. He was annoyed, of course, but he still had the presence of mind to ask what was going on.

Me: “Didn’t you hear the wind a minute ago? The [Neighbors]’ house got hit by another tornado or something. The outdoor furniture is overturned, the basketball hoop’s fallen down, I can’t see their dog anywhere, and their trampoline went over the top of their fence and broke the first rail down!”

Dad immediately looked outside as well and then called Mr. [Neighbor] on his cell phone. The good news was that the whole family had been out and their dog was safe inside, but a follow-up also revealed that some of the furniture had cracked the brand-new stucco, along with other surprisingly minor damages. Two other neighbors from around the corner even came over on horseback to check on them, since they’d witnessed the accidents, too. Yet once again, the rest of the neighborhood was all right. 

Our neighbors took down the fence, put up new fencing, fixed the damages, and stuck their trampoline in a pit to keep it at ground level. After hearing about what happened, Mom said she was starting to think that particular lot’s haunted. (I’m not sure she’s wrong.)