Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

County The Day Until You’re 21

, , , , | Working | October 27, 2017

(My friend and I are going to a concert at a bar. I am 22. He is 19, so not of age, and has never learned to drive, nor has he ever left the country, so he has no driver’s license and no passport.)

Bouncer: “Tickets, please.”

(I hand him the tickets.)

Bouncer: “IDs?”

(I hand him my state-issued driver’s license. My friend hands him his county-issued ID.)

Bouncer: *points to me* “You’re good to go.” *points to friend* “I can’t let you in with this.”

Friend: “Why not? It’s a valid ID.”

Bouncer: “This doesn’t even look like a real ID. I’ve never seen one of these. It’s not even from this county.”

(We spend about five minutes arguing back and forth.)

Bouncer: “Okay, fine. I’ll let him in, but he’s not getting one of the ‘over 21’ bracelets.”

Me: “He’s NOT over 21.”

Friend: “Yeah, I’m 19.”

Me: “Just like the ID says.”

(The ticket guy realized he didn’t even read the information on the ID, glared, put the bracelet on me, and pointed at the entrance.)

You Get To Experience Your First Day Twice

, , , , , | Working | October 24, 2017

(It is my first day in a new job. Just to illustrate how much this job means to me, I had to turn down a guaranteed part-time job just to attend the interview for this one. The office is 29 miles away from my house, and I don’t drive. I’ve just been let in.)

Security Guard: *to me and another guy who is starting the same job* “Can you guys wait here a minute? I need to check something.”

(Ten minutes later he comes back.)

Security Guard: “Sorry, but I’m going to have to send you home. We have nothing saying you should be here today, and the guy who hired you isn’t here, either.”

(We were both pretty floored by this, but there was nobody else we could talk to, so we didn’t have much choice. Luckily, the other guy offered me a lift back to my house, so I didn’t have to wait for a bus. I got back home, took off my suit, put my PJs on, and prepared for a lazy day. I was sitting, checking my emails, when I remembered I had some brief correspondence with another guy from the company about a training course we’d been sent on, and he had a phone number listed, so I tried calling him to see what was going on. He basically described the whole situation as being down to an “overzealous security guard,” assured me that I did in fact start that day, and asked if there was any way I could go back in. Cue a mad rush of me shedding pyjamas and throwing my suit on like I was Superman in reverse. Thankfully, I managed to get a lift to a town halfway there, and there just so happened to be a bus back to the office as I got into town. Luckily, the manager was there at that point, as were the other three people joining my team. We laugh about it now, but honestly, when it happened I was absolutely terrified that something had gone horribly wrong and the person who told me I’d gotten the job had been playing some kind of awful prank.)

Car-Fooling

, , , , | Working | October 23, 2017

(We monitor closed circuit television for various highrise blocks in our city. One of our blocks is almost entirely enclosed inside a high fence with two vehicle gates. One is to enter and is security fob accessible, and one is to exit, and automatically opens when you drive up to it from the inside. Unfortunately, this exit gate is extremely temperamental and breaks down at the slightest gust of wind. There is a reset button near the gates, but this can be as temperamental as the gates themselves. We also have wardens that we can dispatch to any of our blocks. On this instance, our gates have failed again, but the onsite staff has already notified us. Two of our wardens are on site, but are both quite new. They are, however, very eager and very hands-on. This conversation takes place over radio.)

Warden: “We just wanted to let you know that the vehicle exit gates have failed. Is there anything that can be done?”

Me: “The only thing we can do is to phone [Repairs] and report it. You could try the reset button.”

Warden: “Is that [location of button]? Will that do anything, though?”

Me: “Well, you can try it. The worst thing that will happen is nothing at all.”

(At this point, we can see them pressing the button on the camera and I feel a bit mischievous.)

Me: “Yeah. You’ll have to test it by pretending to be a car.”

(I could watch what they do next all day, but I quickly put them out of their misery.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I mean you’ll have to test it with a car.”

(It did resolve the issue, but I will forever have the memory of our two new wardens jumping up and down in front of the gates doing star jumps trying to get the gates open.)

The Pen Is Mightier Than Your Word

, , , , , , | Working | October 18, 2017

(I work for a supermarket as a delivery driver. My job requires me to do some paperwork and I often find myself needing pens. One morning I decide to purchase some from the store I’m based out of before I begin my shift, and I pick up some breakfast while I’m doing this. To get from the aisle with my breakfast items to the pens I walk past the front of store security officer who is well-known for his dislike of delivery drivers, for reasons I don’t know.)

Security Officer: “Excuse me, you can’t take items you purchased through to the staff room from the back; you have to go around the outside.”

(This is a store policy to prevent staff taking items from the shelves and consuming them without paying for them.)

Me: “Yup, I know, but I’m going to get some pens.”

Security Officer: “You cannot take items through the store; you must go around the outside.”

Me: “Yes. I know. I haven’t even paid for this yet. I want to go and get some pens.”

Security Officer: “If you attempt to go further I will have to detain you and inform your manager.”

Me: “Fine, I tell you what; hold my breakfast while I go and get pens.” *I hand him my breakfast and start to walk away.*

Security Officer: “It is not my job to return the items you are attempting to steal; please do so yourself and in future, control yourself!”

(I ignored him, walked over to the aisle containing pens, and picked up a pack. I walked back over, took my breakfast from him, and joined the line to pay for my purchases and proceeded to go about my work day. It turns out he decided to report my “attempted theft” to my manager, but my manager is well aware of his grudge against delivery drivers and ignored him. Some days later my manager informed me I had been reported for “gross misconduct” to the store manager. Since the CCTV footage showed me walking through the store, getting my breakfast, attempting to get pens, and nothing else, it was concluded by the store manager that I was probably just getting pens.)

One Door Closes, A Realization Opens

, , , | Working | October 12, 2017

(I am “the IT guy” for a large distribution center with lots of automation and machinery. I am checking the wireless network signal in a work module that has three floors of product racks crammed into a two-story building, with conveyor belts running through it to boot. I finish in the back of the module and decide to use the back stairway instead of walking back through the crowded module, but the door is jammed shut. Walking back to the front, I meet the head of security.)

Guard: “Hey, [My Name], did you open that back stairwell door?”

Me: “I tried, but it was stuck and wouldn’t open more than an inch or so.”

Guard: “That’s a fire exit door, so when it gets opened we have an alarm go off in the monitoring station. We would’ve called the fire department, except there was only a single door in alarm.”

Me: “Sorry, didn’t know.”

(There were no “emergency exit” signs on the door, or any other indicators that it was a fire exit. The guard and I begin going our separate ways, then I stop and call back to him.)

Me: “Hey, [Guard], seeing as how that’s a fire exit door, is the fact that it wouldn’t open a problem?”

Guard: *look of startled realization creeps across his face* “I think I’ll call maintenance.”