There Are No Holes In Your Reasons

, , , , , | Right | March 9, 2019

(It’s right at closing when a woman brings a pile of curtain fabrics from our discounted table; these are all marked as seconds. As my coworker is measuring they come across some holes in the fabric.)

Customer: “I don’t want those holes; cut that off and start measuring again.”

(Again, they come across some more holes. She makes him cut the fabric again and start a new measurement. There’s not enough for what she wants, so she makes the coworker go with her to bring back more fabrics. I have finally finished serving my last customer when I hear her telling the coworker that she wants her whole house done and wants all the curtains cut to size so he needs to call other stores for her. My coworker turns to me.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s after closing and all of our stores are now closed. We cannot call them now because they won’t answer.”

Customer: “Well, then, we’ll just see what’s here; he can go and look for what I want. I just need to call and find out the window sizes for the house, but the phone’s been busy.”

Me: “You don’t know the window sizes?”

Customer: “No, I’ll just wait until I find out.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to return tomorrow; it’s now too late to do this.”

Customer: “No, I’ll wait.”

Me: “No, you don’t understand. You are parked in the main car park, right?”

Customer: “Yes, so?”

Me: “The centre will completely shut down in a few minutes; the lights will be turned out and the alarm turned on which means you cannot get to the main car park safely. I’ll have to let you out our back door into the dock, and you’ll have to go down the stairs outside and around the whole building to get to the main car park. I don’t want you to have to do that; it’s dark out there and can be dangerous.”

(I don’t think she believes me, but I finally get her to agree to come back the next day, which she never does. I have just managed to pull the doors down and lock three of the doors from the outside before pulling down the final door when the lights in the mall go out. I padlock the final door from the inside.)

Coworker: “Wow, you cut that fine. I thought the alarm was going to beat you.”

(My coworker helps me quickly count the drawers before we finally leave, an hour later than we get paid for. As we drive out of the dock area we notice that there are a bunch of rough-looking men in the dark car park, hanging around the stairs leading from the dock.)

Coworker: “Oh, my God! That woman was lucky not to have to walk through them. I bet she thought you were lying to her just get rid of her.”

Me: “Yeah, I know, but $2-a-metre fabric is not worth putting anyone in danger for.”

Going Hell For Pleather On These Sales

, , , | Right | February 28, 2019

(I work in a fabric store. I get a phone call from a customer looking for pleather. He asks for white, but upon finding out we don’t have that, he asks what other colours we have. We have every colour but red. Later on, a man arrives in the store asking for pleather. He chooses the black one.)

Me: “Did you happen to ring a little while ago asking for this?”

Customer #2: “No, it wasn’t me.”

Me: “Okay. It’s funny; I don’t often get asked for it, but I got asked twice in the last half hour. It often goes like that.”

Customer #2: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah, but it’s always in threes; there will be a third sometime today.”

Customer #2: *laughs* “Good luck with that.”  

(It’s the end of the day and I have shut the doors when a customer knocks on the door. We’ve closed an hour and a half earlier than usual due to it being a public holiday. I go to the door to explain to the customer why we are closed early. He is there with his young son.)

Customer #3: “Oh, no, we really need to get something. Can’t you help us?”

Me: “We are closed but I will try. What is it you are after?”

Customer #3: “I need pleather; do you have it in red?”

Unfiltered Story #142141

, , | Unfiltered | February 28, 2019

I work in a fabric store, which as you an imagine, sells threads.We sell several different brands and each brand sells thread in different sizes from a hundred or so yards to several thousands and different fiber content from plain old cotton to high tech synthetics to metallics and silks.
We have a regular customer who is a real drama queen.  She comes  in accompanied by her husband who  always seems to be apologising for her.
One day she came in when we were having a 50% off thread sale.
She came to the register with nearly 20 spools of thread from the tiny cotton spools to the mega spools of multi colored embrodiery thread. I rang them up and the total came to nearly $50.  She went ballistic.
Customer: Why is my thread so much.  I only got 20 spools and it’s only $1.29 for each spool.”
Me: The little spool is $1.29.  The other spools  are more  and are different prices.  
Customer:  No they aren’t.  The signs say they are all $1.29.
Me:  Maybe I’m wrong.  Show me the sign.  I can always change it.
We go to the thread display and of course the sign is up showing the different prices.  I show it to customer.  She denies it.
Customer”  No it says it’s $1.29.
Me:  Yes the sign says the small spools are $1.29 but it also shows the
prices of the other spools.
Customer:  Why would they be different?  It’s silly.
Me:  Well there are different companies and different amount on the spools and different materials.
Customer”  Well that’s just stupid.  I want them for $1.29, that;s the price the sign says.
Me:  Well you can have the small spools for $1.29 but the other threads will ring up what the sign says.
Customer”  Well that’s stupid.  I can get them online for less that that.  I don’t want them then. You just lost a customer forever .
Me, thinking to myself:  I should be so lucky.  
But I say :  Allright you don’t have to take them, I can cancel the sale.
Customer storms out, leaving husband to apologize.
Next customer”  Did she really think all threads were the same price?  Is she off her meds?
This came to mind today as our store is having another 50% off thread sale today and guess who showed up?
She bought nearly the same thread she screamed about last time being so expensive.  Guess they weren’t cheaper online after all.

Tearing Into Them

, , , | Right | February 27, 2019

(I work in a fabric store and often come across customers who move the fabric as I go to make a cut. I measure out the fabric, holding my fingers next to the spot I am about cut, pick the scissors up, and try to make the first cut, when the customer pulls the fabric. I try again. This time she pulls the fabric out of my grip, but not before pulling my fingers into the cutting area of the scissors. Again, I stop and have to re-measure before trying again.)

Me: *as the customer pulls the fabric again* “Will you stop pulling the fabric?”

Customer: “But you are cutting it crooked.”

Me: “I haven’t even started cutting yet, and good thing, too, because this is the second time you’ve pulled my fingers into the blades of the scissors. Just leave the fabric alone.”

Customer: “Oh… I was only trying to help; you have the fabric crooked.”

Me: “Just let me do it; I know what I’m doing.”

(With that, I finally get to make that first cut, and then with my hands, I tear the fabric right across.)

Customer: “You are tearing it; it won’t be straight.”

Me: *holding the fabric up* “It always tears straight.”

Customer: “Wow. That’s impressive.”

Unfiltered Story #137186

, , , | Unfiltered | January 26, 2019

Me (Answering phone): Thank you for calling [Fabric Store], how can I help you?

Customer (on the other end of a crackly line): Yes, thank you, I was wondering if you had any more of your fifty-gallon oil drums in stock?

Me (trying to figure out what I’d misheard):  Uh…are you looking for oilcloth?

Customer: No, the fifty-gallon oil drums.  You were out last time I checked and I wanted to see if you’d gotten them back in.

(I’m still straining to figure out what our phone line could possibly be garbling so bad.)

Me: We don’t carry oil drums.

Customer: But you said you were going to get them back in last time I called.

Me: Wait, did you mean to call [Tool Store] next door?

Customer:  …wait, what store is this?

Me: [Fabric Store].

Customer:  Oh.  Sorry.  I’ll try them.

(Still haven’t figured out how he got our numbers mixed up!)

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