Top Marks For Honesty

, , , , , | Working | December 10, 2018

(I’m a manager at a chain restaurant and one of my responsibilities is interviewing potential employees for a job. I like to ask people why those chose to apply for us instead of our competitors, because we hold ourselves to a higher standard and want employees who actually want to work for our company specifically, not just a job for money. This happens when I ask that question.)

Me: “So,why did you choose to apply specifically to us? Our competition down the street is also hiring, but you chose us. Why’s that?”

Candidate: “Well, when I think of them, they always be busy and stuff. But when I think of y’all, I don’t think y’all get busy. And I’m trying to get a job where I don’t have to work so hard.”

(She did not get the job.)

Cashiers On Third Day Of Work Are Already Hardened

, , , , , , | Right | December 5, 2018

(I am at a big box store, waiting in line. There is only one line open in the whole store. The poor girl who is checking us out is fairly new. She looks frazzled and is trying to hurry along. When it gets to my purchase, there is a problem ringing something up, and she has to call for the manager. There are well over seven people in line behind me; several let out moans and sighs of aggravation. One particularly obnoxious guy behind me in line has been making plenty of negative comments laced with profanity. He is getting on everyone’s nerves, and of course he just HAS to make a comment.)

Customer: “Well, if they would hire enough f****** people, we wouldn’t have to wait on this stupid b**** to ring everything up wrong.”

(The poor cashier, who I later find out is only on her third day of work, looks like she is about to cry. Fed up, I turn to him.)

Me: “Excuse me. They do hire enough people. I happen to know the manager here, and people come in all the time begging for jobs, get hired, and then don’t show up for work. This poor girl is working as hard and fast as she can, and doesn’t need your snotty attitude.”

(Shocked, he did shut up, but started mumbling under his breath. I gave him a dirty look and he finally marched out of line, cussing along the way. The poor cashier thanked me. She told me she had been yelled at all morning. The people in line behind me smiled at her, one said don’t worry about that jerk, another said they weren’t in a hurry anyway, etc. She told me I made her day.)

Driving Like A Pre-Schooler

, , , , , , | Related | November 26, 2018

(One summer while in college I take a job at a day-care center to earn extra book money. My job is to drive the kids in a passenger van to the local pool. It is the kids’ favorite day of the week and they are usually incredibly excited. One day we’re slowed down by a group of police cars with their lights on taking care of an accident on the side of the road. The kids are hollering, “Faster, faster! Drive faster!” A little four-year-old sitting behind me cries out:)

Four-Year-Old:No! Oh, no. Don’t drive faster!”

Helper: *curious* “Don’t you want us to take you swimming?”

Four-Year-Old: “Oh, yes! I just don’t want the driver to walk the white line.”

Helper: “What do you mean?”

Four-Year-Old: “Well, every time the police stop my daddy, they make him walk a white line, and we always end up not being able to go where we wanted to.”

They Don’t Have Twenty-Twenty Nugget Vision

, , , , | Right | November 23, 2018

(My fast food restaurant has a sale on chicken nuggets right now. Ten nuggets are $1.50, but twenty nuggets are their normal price of $5. In essence, it’s cheaper to buy two ten-pieces than one twenty-piece. Enter this lady on drive-thru.)

Customer: “I want twenty chicken nuggets.”

Coworker: “Okay, ma’am. Would you like anything else?” *enters two ten-piece nuggets*

Customer: “Excuse me! I asked for a twenty-piece, not two ten-piece!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, it’s cheaper to buy two ten-piece nuggets than one twenty-piece. You’re getting the same amount for less money.”

Customer: “I want a twenty-piece!”

Coworker: “Would you rather pay $3 or $5 for 20 chicken nuggets?”

Customer: “I said I want a twenty-piece!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, we don’t even have a large enough bag to fit twenty chicken nuggets. A twenty-piece order comes in two bags of ten nuggets.”

Customer: “Are you not listening? I want a 20-piece!”

Coworker: “Okay, ma’am. I’ll switch your two ten-pieces to one twenty-piece. Will that be it for you?”

Customer: “No! You didn’t ask me what kind of sauce I wanted.”

Coworker: “What kind of sauce would you like?”

Customer: “I don’t want any sauce.”

Coworker: “Will this complete your order?”

Customer: “Yes! It’s about time!”

(The customer drives to my window where I’m collecting ]\money.)

Customer: *in a very accusing tone* “Did I get a twenty-piece nugget?”

Me: *poker face* “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “With no sauce?”

Me: “That’s correct. Your total will be [total].”

Customer: “Finally, someone knows what they’re doing!”

A Hurricane Of The Same Call  

, , , , , | Right | November 18, 2018

(A few weeks ago we were hit by Hurricane Matthew, and a lot of people are calling to make sure it is safe for their upcoming visit. The damage was fairly minimal and cleanup lasted only a few days, but of course news stations are hyping it up for ratings, so a lot of people don’t believe us when we say the city is fine. After dozens of calls repeating the same spiel over and over, I decide to have a little fun with people.)

Caller: *in a very thick southern accent* “Hi, this is [Caller] and I’m calling from Texas. We saw about the hurricane on the news and as we’re visiting your city in a few weeks I just wanted to call and make sure everything was all right for our visit.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we’re still under eight feet of water. I actually had to swim into the office today. On the bright side, we don’t have to worry about traffic!”

(She is silent for a moment, and I’m afraid I may have offended her, but then she bursts out laughing.)

Caller: “You are a Texas joker! You’re funny; you would fit in just fine down here, darling.'”

(She asked me a few more questions about her stay and then concluded the call. The whole situation was incredibly stressful, but that call made my week!)

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