A Crustacean Inflation

, , , , , , | Working | February 15, 2019

My mother has a serious shellfish allergy; as she gets older, it has become progressively more serious. When she eats shellfish, she needs to go to the emergency room. Her friends are well aware of this; every time she eats out at a place that serves crustaceans, she explains it to the wait-staff in excruciating detail. She also lives in a part of the country where shrimp makes an appearance in many food items, so she has to repeat this often.

One day, my parents are having dinner with a friend of theirs. A few bites into dinner, my mother can sense that something is wrong. She mentions this to my father, who confirms that she’s having a reaction, and he asks the hostess whether there was shellfish in the food. The hostess says that there was, but that she took the shrimp out when she remembered about my mom’s allergy.

My parents immediately ask where the nearest hospital is and get ready to leave. The hostess disappears as they’re putting on their coats. When she emerges, she has boxed up their leftovers so they can eat them later.

Unfiltered Story #139423

, , | Unfiltered | February 9, 2019

(I work at a drive thru and a customer pulls up at the window without looking at the menu. By the way, I’m the manager.)

Me: Um, sir?

Customer: Give me a free burger. I’m the manager’s friend.

Me: Sorry, I can’t do that.

Customer: Fine, I’ll just go to another store and get a free burger.

(He pulls up again after about 45 minutes.)

Me: Where’s your free burger?

Customer: Can you just give me a burger please?….

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 15

, , , , , | Right | February 4, 2019

(I work in a cafe that also serves ice cream. Customers can add toppings to their ice cream, and we usually have them tell us their allergies before we make their ice cream.)

Me: “Good afternoon! Are you thinking about getting ice cream or coffee?”

Customer: *who is really nice* “I want to get ice cream.”

Me: “Okay, what kind?”

Customer: “I’ll take vanilla with Reese’s cups.”

Me: “Okay.” *starts putting the order in*

Customer: “I’m allergic to peanuts.”

Me: *stops putting the order in* “Ma’am, Reese’s has peanuts in it. Are you sure you want Reese’s in your ice cream?”

Customer: “Oh, I’m definitely allergic to peanuts.” *proceeds to pull an epi-pen out of her purse* “But I’m not allergic to the peanuts in Reese’s.”

Me: *stutters* “Okay, so, you really want Reese’s in your ice cream, but you are allergic to peanuts.”

Customer: *still happy* “Yeah. So, make sure you use a new scoop and rinse everything, just in case there’s peanut residue. I’m allergic to peanuts.”

Me: *completely stupefied* “Okay, is that all today?”

Customer: “No, I have another order for ice cream. My daughter wants vanilla with cherries. But she’s allergic to dairy, so make sure your ice cream is dairy-free.”

(The customer wound up getting all her ice cream, and neither of them had an allergic reaction in the store.)

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 14
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 13
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 12

The Awkwardness Just Went Up To Eleven

, , , | Right | January 28, 2019

(This happened when I was newly eighteen and working as a cashier at a popular retail chain. I’m only five feet tall and look very young for my age, but most people, even if they joke about my baby face, are aware that I’m older than I look. In this instance, an elderly couple comes through my line and are very quiet and make no conversation other than what is necessary. A few minutes after they’ve left, my floor manager comes up to me.)

Manager: “You are not going to believe what just happened. This old couple came up to me all angry and threatening to call child services over you. They thought you were, like, eleven!”

Pajama Drama, Part 5

, , , , | Friendly | January 27, 2019

(I am 34 weeks pregnant and have to make a run into a large chain store. I run in wearing my pajamas because I am feeling bloated and the store itself is infamous for its casual, if at times shocking, clothes. I am currently waiting in line at the self-checkout when the middle-aged customer behind me decides she has something to say about it. She is wearing average clothing at best, nothing fancy.)

Rude Woman: *derisively* “I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing pajamas in public. Don’t you have any shame? Girls these days just go out wearing any d*** thing!”

Me: *turns around* “It’s not my fault only one of us can afford maternity clothes.”

Rude Woman: *starts sputtering before rushing to another line*

(The look on her face was worth leaving the house that day!)

Related:
Pajama Drama, Part 4
Pajama Drama, Part 3
Pajama Drama, Part 2

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